Self-Worth and Self-Forgiveness – Plus 45 Quotes That Helped Me Heal

Some of my favorite self-worth and self-forgiveness quotes that helped me along my journey and I hope will help you too.

Photo by Atomic62 Studio

By Linda

Infidelity is a devastating and life-altering experience. It chips away at our self-worth, leaving us feeling broken and unworthy of love. But the truth is, forgiveness and healing are possible. It all starts with finding self-worth and self-forgiveness.

As someone who has been betrayed by infidelity – and who now works with others who are struggling with healing – I understand the pain and frustration that comes with trying to navigate these complex emotions.

My experience made me realize that it’s important to practice self-forgiveness and nurture your self-worth no matter what life throws at you. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but it’s one that has helped me come out stronger.

And I’m currently relearning this in a different sense as I work through my somewhat challenging relationship with my mother and her negative influence over my entire life. 

In this blog post, we’ll explore why self-worth and self-forgiveness is so important after infidelity, and then I’ll share some self-worth and self-forgiveness quotes that have helped me on my own healing journey after infidelity.

My Own Feelings of Worthlessness

I experienced the emotional turmoil infidelity can cause and the significant impact it can have on one’s self-worth. After discovering the affair, I felt a range of emotions, including anger, sadness, and betrayal. But perhaps most profoundly, I questioned my own value and worthiness as a person, wife and mother.

In a post from several years ago, I described my thoughts of feeling worthless:

“The words that he couldn’t love me were devastating.  I believed that I wasn’t good enough to be loved or unable to effectively give love to my husband.  I started to question my physical self, thinking I wasn’t pretty enough, my body wasn’t good enough, maybe I wasn’t successful enough, or too successful, or maybe I just needed to change my personality.

In the end I truly believed I was worthless.  So worthless that at times I didn’t want to live and thought about ending my life.  Thankfully my children were there to remind me that I was important to them, and even though Doug didn’t love me, they loved me very much.”

Benefits of a Healthy Self-Worth

Having a healthy sense of self-worth is crucial in the affair recovery and healing process. It allows you to recognize that you deserve better and empowers you to make decisions that promote your well-being.

Developing a healthy self-worth after experiencing infidelity can have several benefits for your overall well-being and in all your relationships. Here are some key possibilities:

1. Enhanced Self-Confidence: Building a healthy self-worth allows you to cultivate confidence in yourself and your abilities. When you recognize your own worth, you become more assured in who you are as an individual, making it easier to assert your needs and boundaries in your relationships.
2. Improved Relationship Choices: A strong sense of self-worth helps you make healthier relationship choices. You can better demand and expect that your partner treat you with respect, kindness, and loyalty. You’ll be less likely to settle when someone doesn’t appreciate your true value.
3. Resilience and Inner Strength: Strengthening your self-worth fosters resilience, allowing you to bounce back from challenges, including the hellacious aftermath of infidelity. It provides you with the inner strength needed to cope with difficult emotions, heal, and move forward with your life.
4. Setting and Maintaining Boundaries: A healthy self-worth enables you to establish and maintain clear boundaries in all of your relationships. You’ll have a greater understanding of your own needs, and you’ll be able to communicate them effectively. This promotes healthier dynamics, where both partners’ needs are respected.
5. Increased Emotional Independence: Developing a strong sense of self-worth reduces your reliance on external validation for your self-esteem. You’ll be less affected by others’ opinions and judgments, allowing you to find validation from within. This leads to greater emotional independence and a more stable sense of self.
6. Emotional Well-being: Working on your self-worth leads to improved emotional well-being. You’ll experience a greater sense of inner peace, self-acceptance, and self-love. This helps to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, allowing you to live a more fulfilling and emotionally balanced life.

Tips for Rebuilding Self-worth and Regaining Confidence after Experiencing Infidelity

Here are some quick tips for rebuilding self-worth.

• Acknowledge and validate your feelings: Allow yourself to feel the pain and anger that come with betrayal. Understand that these emotions are valid and natural responses to infidelity.
• Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, a mentor or a professional therapist who can help you process your emotions and provide guidance during the healing process.
• Focus on your strengths and accomplishments: Remind yourself of your unique qualities, talents, and achievements. Recognize that your self-worth is not defined by your partner’s actions.
• Set achievable goals: Establish realistic goals in different areas of your life, such as work, hobbies, or personal growth. As you achieve these goals, you’ll build confidence and a sense of accomplishment.
• Practice self-care: Prioritize activities that promote your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Engage in hobbies you enjoy, exercise regularly, and maintain a balanced diet.
• Establish boundaries: Recognize the importance of setting boundaries and enforcing limits in your relationships. This will help protect your self-worth and prevent future betrayals.
• Forgive yourself: Understand that everyone makes mistakes, and it’s essential to practice self-forgiveness. Remember that you are not to blame for your partner’s infidelity. 

Speaking of Self-forgiveness…The Importance of Forgiving Yourself

Holding onto resentment and self-blame can hinder your healing process and negatively impact your mental health. Practicing self-forgiveness is essential for moving forward and rebuilding your sense of self-worth.

Advantages and Long-term Benefits of Self-forgiveness:

1. Rebuilding self-confidence: Self-forgiveness allows you to let go of guilt and shame, enabling you to rebuild your self-confidence. A study published in The Journal of Positive Psychology found that self-forgiveness positively influences self-esteem and psychological well-being (1).
2. Repairing relationships: By forgiving yourself, you create a foundation for rebuilding trust and repairing relationships with your partner or others affected by the infidelity.
3. Improved mental health: Research has shown that self-forgiveness is associated with reduced symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress (2). It promotes overall emotional well-being and resilience.
4. Personal growth: The process of self-forgiveness encourages introspection and personal growth, allowing you to learn from your mistakes and make positive changes moving forward. 

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Advice and Steps for Practicing Self-forgiveness:

1. Acknowledge responsibility: Accept your role in your marriage and recognize the outcome of your actions. This certainly does not mean that the affair was your fault.  Far from it.  But no one is perfect and we all make mistakes and poor choices at times.
2. Validate your emotions: Allow yourself to feel a range of emotions without judgment. Understand that guilt, shame, and anger are natural responses to infidelity but don’t let them define you.
3. Challenge negative thoughts: Identify and challenge negative thoughts about yourself and the situation. Replace them with more balanced, compassionate perspectives.
4. Seek professional support: Consider working with a therapist or counselor who can guide you through the process of self-forgiveness and provide valuable insights and coping strategies.
5. Focus on personal growth: Use this experience as an opportunity for growth by identifying areas of your life that need improvement and taking steps to address them.
6. Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a friend in a similar situation. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and self-forgiveness is an essential part of healing.
7. Be patient with yourself: Understand that self-forgiveness is a journey, not a destination. Give yourself time to heal and make peace with your actions.

By practicing self-forgiveness, you can unlock numerous therapeutic advantages and long-term benefits that will positively impact your mental health, relationships, and personal growth. Remember, the process of self-forgiveness takes time and effort, but it’s a crucial step on the path to healing and moving forward.

My Favorite Self-worth and Self-forgiveness Quotes

With all that said, uplifting and positive self-worth and self-forgiveness quotes can serve as powerful reminders for those healing from infidelity. They encourage us to embrace self-love, acknowledge our mistakes, and focus on personal growth.

By internalizing these messages, we can transform our mindset, foster resilience, and ultimately move forward towards a happier, more fulfilling life. Remember, the journey to healing begins with self-compassion and the understanding that we are all deserving of love and forgiveness.

I recommend incorporating daily inspirational quotes into your routine to support healing. To do this, consider writing down your favorite quotes on a sticky note and placing it on your bathroom mirror or fridge, setting a motivational quote as your computer or phone’s wallpaper, or using a quote as a daily affirmation during meditation or journaling.

By engaging with these messages consistently, you’ll internalize their positive impact, reinforcing self-compassion and resilience throughout your healing journey.

OK, here are my 10 favorite self-worth and self-forgiveness quotes that helped me along my journey and I hope will help you too:

1. “When you forgive, you heal. And when you let go, you grow.” – Unknown

Forgiving someone who has betrayed you is not an easy task. However, holding on to that anger and resentment only hurts you in the long run. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting what they did but it means letting go of the pain and moving forward.

2. “You are not what happened to you, you are what you choose to become.” – Unknown

Infidelity doesn’t define you. You still have the power to choose how to move forward and who you want to be. Remember that you are worthy of love and respect, even if someone else failed to recognize that.

3. “You can’t forgive without loving. And I don’t mean sentimentality. I don’t mean mush. I mean having enough courage to stand up and say, ‘I forgive. I’m finished with it.’” – Maya Angelou

The act of forgiving someone takes courage. Forgiveness doesn’t mean what they did was okay, it just means that you are no longer willing to carry that weight around. Forgiveness is one of the greatest acts of self-love and it’s necessary to move forward.

4. “When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.” – Jean Shinoda Bolen

Infidelity takes a huge toll on our mental health and wellbeing. It’s important to take care of yourself and prioritize self-care. Find things that bring you joy and make room for them. Remember that taking care of yourself is not selfish, it’s necessary.

5. “Be proud of every step you take towards reaching that goal. And be patient with yourself.” – Unknown

Healing from betrayal is a long and winding road. It’s important to be proud of the progress you make and be patient with yourself.  Even if the steps you take are small, it’s important to acknowledge and celebrate them.

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6. “Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know until you lived through it. Honor your path. Trust your journey. Learn, grow, evolve, become.” -Creig Crippen

This quote reminds us that it’s okay to not have all the answers. We are all just doing our best with the knowledge we have at the time. Forgiving yourself for not knowing what you didn’t before can be a huge step towards finding self-forgiveness and healing.

7. “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” -Buddha

It can be difficult to love ourselves after experiencing infidelity. But the truth is that we are deserving of love and affection, regardless of our experiences. Practicing self-love can help us rebuild our self-worth and confidence.

8. “Forgive yourself for accepting less than you deserve. But don’t do it again.” -Unknown

It’s important to forgive ourselves for accepting less than what we deserve, but also to recognize our worth and not settle for less in the future. Learning from our past experiences can help us create healthier relationships moving forward.

9. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” -Mahatma Gandhi

Forgiveness can feel like a daunting task, but it’s important to remember that it takes strength to forgive. Holding onto anger and resentment can ultimately hurt us more than the person who betrayed us. Finding the courage to forgive can lead to a weight lifted off of our shoulders and a newfound sense of self-forgiveness.

10. “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” -George Eliot

Infidelity can make us feel like we’ve lost ourselves, but it’s never too late to rediscover who we are and who we want to be. We have the power to create the life we want, even after experiencing such a traumatic event.

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Here are 35 more self-worth and self-forgiveness quotes that might be helpful for you:

Self-forgiveness Quotes

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.” — Martin Luther King Jr.

“Be gentle with yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, for only as we have the right attitude toward ourselves can we have the right attitude toward others.” — Wilferd Peterson

“Forgive the past and let it go with great gratitude.  It will allow us to embrace the present and future with love, enthusiasm and passion.” – Debasish Mridha

“Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning.” — Desmond Tutu

“No one can or will ever feel your pain as much as you. Forgive yourself for the past, seize the gift of the present moment.” — K.J. Kilton

“You make choices and sometimes they’re good and sometimes they backfire. The most important thing is to be brave, forgive yourself when you do something stupid, and allow yourself to move on.” — Kiersey Clemons

“Forgive yourself first. Let go of past hurts and direct your spirit to goodness and hope by having gratitude.” — Janet Taylor Spence

“Forgive yourself and welcome love back into your life.” – Wayne Dyer

“I think that if God forgives us, we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him.” – C.S. Lewis

“I have learned that the person I have to ask for forgiveness from the most is: myself. You must love yourself. You have to forgive yourself every day; whenever you remember a shortcoming, a flaw, you have to tell yourself, “That’s just fine.” You have to forgive yourself so much until you don’t see those things anymore. Because that’s what love is like.” – C. JoyBell C.

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” – Steve Maraboli

“You are not your mistakes. They are what you did. Not who you are.” – Lisa Lieberman-Wang

“It’s toughest to forgive ourselves. So it’s probably best to start with other people. It’s almost like peeling an onion. Layer by layer, forgiving others, you really do get to the point where you can forgive yourself.” – Patty Duke

“Forgiving yourself, not guilt, increases personal accountability.” – David D. Burns

“Self-forgiveness is essential to self-healing.” – Ruth Carter Stapleton

“As we know, forgiveness of oneself is the hardest of all the forgiveness.” – Joan Baez

“Forgive yourself. The supreme act of forgiveness is when you can forgive yourself for all the wounds you’ve created in your own life. Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive yourself, self-acceptance begins and self-love grows.” Miguel Angel Ruiz

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Self-worth Quotes

“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.” – Maxwell Maltz

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.” – Denis Waitley

“Self–worth is so vital to your happiness if you don’t feel good about yourself, it’s hard to feel good about anything else.” — Sandy Hale

“Talk to yourself like someone you love.” – Brene Brown

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

“Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?” – Brigham Young

“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.” – Charles Bukowski

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” – Harvey Fierstein

“The right mental attitude will guide you towards feeling a sense of love that you deserve to experience.” – Anonymous

“If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” – Fred Rogers

“Love yourself. Be clear on how you want to be treated. Know your worth. Always.” – Maryam Hasnaa

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” – Anna Taylor

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” — Malcolm S. Forbes

“Your self-worth grows when you fight for something you love.” — Maxime Lagacé

“Don’t waste a second of your time convincing other people you’re worth loving.” – Atticus

“Only make decisions that support your self-image, self-esteem, and self-worth.” — Oprah Winfrey

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Conclusion

Infidelity can shatter our sense of self-worth and leave us feeling lost and broken. But with time and effort, we can find the strength to forgive ourselves and others. These self-worth and self-forgiveness quotes serve as a reminder that forgiveness and self-love are possible, and that we are deserving of both.

It’s important to honor our paths and trust our journeys, as they can lead us to find greater self-awareness, growth, and happiness. 

Everyone’s journey is unique. Be patient with yourself, seek support when needed, and focus on nurturing your self-worth and practicing self-forgiveness as you move forward.

Remember, it’s never too late to be who you might have been.

Please add any of your favorite self-worth and self-forgiveness quotes or thoughts in the comment section below.

Sources:

(1) Wohl, M. J., DeShea, L., & Wahkinney, R. L. (2008). Looking within: Measuring state self-forgiveness and its relationship to psychological well-being. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 3(3), 253-265.

(2) Thompson, L. Y., Snyder, C. R., Hoffman, L., Michael, S. T., Rasmussen, H. N., Billings, L. S., … & Roberts, D. E. (2005). Dispositional forgiveness of self, others, and situations. Journal of Personality, 73(2), 313-360.