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Mile High Affair Club: The Affair Story on a Plane

By Sarah P. A couple of weeks ago, we had a seven-hour flight ahead of us. As always, I get the very back row. I do not care if the seats do not recline or if it is by the restroom. I choose the back row. This time I told my husband I was taking […]

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Affair Discovery – Like Getting Hit By a Truck

By “TryingToGetOver”   The last thing I wanted to hear when my husband’s affair was discovered was how long and hard the road to recovery would be. But it takes work and time, and there’s no getting around it, only through it. We are 7 months post Discovery Day number three (aka the time it finally […]

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When Your Husband Gets the Other Woman Pregnant

The Ultimate Poach: When Your Husband Gets the Other Woman Pregnant

By Sarah P. Wives, knowing what your husband has done with the OW, does not have to ruin your marriage. Linda and Doug have been receiving many emails lately where wives have unfortunately found out their husband’s mistress is pregnant OR their husband already has had a child with his mistress/OW. So they asked me […]

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Getting the Affair Details – Maybe Trickle Truth is Best for Everyone

Getting the affair details – as little or as much as the betrayed spouse wants – is vital for healing. Yet, sometimes it works out that getting them gradually over time is best. By “TryingToGetOver” When I joined this forum I was in shock over my husband’s affair. One of the first emails from the […]

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Haunting Images: What Happens When You Know Too Many Details of Your Partner’s Affair

By Sarah P. There are many events and feelings that are universal to infidelity and all of these events can be equally difficult. But, today, I wanted to talk about when you know too many details of your partner’s affair  – his or her experience and intimate life with the other person – and how […]

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Runaway Spouse Syndrome

The Runaway Spouse Syndrome

By Sarah P. It all started a long time ago—probably as long ago as marriage existed—but most recently this phenomenon was brought into focus by Vikki Stark in her book Runaway Husbands.  I am calling this post The Runaway Spouse Syndrome because this is not necessarily a gender-specific phenomenon. While this behavior may be found […]

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trauma after an affair

Affair Trauma Part 3: What I Learned at the Gottman Affair Trauma Seminar

By Sarah P. This is part three and the final post of the trauma series. I wanted to start this post with song lyrics, by Amanda Palmer, wife of Neil Gaiman (Dresden Dolls), that describe the paradox of trauma. Because really, trauma is a paradox. Biting keeps your words at bay Tending to the sores […]

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ptsd and affairs

Trauma Series Part One: PTSD and Affairs

By Sarah P. Anytime there is an affair, trauma is not far around the corner. In fact, I have never spoken to a betrayed spouse who says something to the extent of: “Yeah, my spouse’s affair was no big deal. It’s just one of those things—no more hurtful than getting home late for dinner.” If […]

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Letting go

Danger Ahead – You Can Live Without Your Spouse, But Not Without Yourself

Infidelity can annihilate our sense of self. By Sarah P. From the time we are children, we are told that when we grow up we must find a prince or princess charming and get married. Much of the mass media trades on this idea. It is so ingrained in our society that people rarely question it. […]

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talk about infidelity

The Big Five: Gottman’s Communication Techniques to Talk about Infidelity

By Sarah P. It’s almost always a struggle for couples to communicate about topics that matter to one but not the other, especially if this topic references past hurts. Unfortunately, just talking about such heated topics can cause a fight. When marriage becomes one fight after another, most couples withdraw from hot topics. After all, […]

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