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Behavior Towards Betrayed Spouses that is No Longer Acceptable

  This article is about behavior that is no longer acceptable: Making cruel and blaming statements about betrayed spouses, statements that invalidate the experience of the betrayed spouse, and statements that silence the feelings of the betrayed spouse. By Sarah P. This post has been a long time in the making. It has been simmering […]

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What to Say When a Wayward Spouse Blames You for the Affair

  This article is for people who would like to stay in their marriages. This article is for people who would like tips on how to respond to a wayward spouse when a wayward spouse blames you for the affair. By Sarah P. If a betrayed spouse is done with a marriage, the best response […]

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That Paradox of the Look of Disgust

By Sarah P. It is an unmistakable look and you have probably seen it on the cheater’s face after you found out about the affair. The cat was out of the bag: your spouse was now a confirmed cheater and yet your spouse was looking at YOU with disgust. You are the one that should […]

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Revenge Fantasies – All the Things I Want to Say

By “TryingToGetOver” One of the most frustrating parts of recovery is having about a million things you want to say to the person who stole your spouse’s attention. None of those things are nice. None of them would help the situation. But boy, would you like to get them off your chest! I’m one year […]

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EA or PA? The Labels We Assign to Affairs – Are They Really Important?

By “Rose” Lately I have been journaling a lot; suggested by my therapist, it really helps to get the emotions out. Sometimes I’ll write my spouse a nasty-gram but then don’t send it because the action of writing it helps me a lot. What I have been thinking about lately is the labels we assign […]

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When Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and the Other Person Are All Best Friends in their Non-Existence

By Sarah P. While the title of this post seems comical at first, this is a title that is quite literal since it hints at gaslighting. I wanted to revisit the topic of gaslighting and how wayward spouses use it. It is essential to understand it and recognize it to preserve your equilibrium as a […]

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Why the Pick-Me Dance Does Not Work

Copyright Jim Davis. Jim Davis, if you are reading, I spent many an evening at Fox Fire’s and spent lots of money there just to save my sanity from the hell that is that particular town. I also did you the courtesy of not bothering you at your house (located on you know what lake) […]

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Tales of Several Relationships and More Reasons Why You Cannot Make Your Spouse Cheat

By Sarah P. My husband reads the New York Times every night before bed. Sometimes he will find a particular obnoxious article OR a particularly moving article and forward them to me. I read two different accounts in the Modern Love section, one very moving article about the SELFLESSNESS of people with integrity and another […]

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Understanding Gaslighting: A Brand of Jedi Mind Tricks

This article will help you in understanding gaslighting more, as well as how to recognize and respond to it. If your wayward spouse is making you doubt your own sanity, there is a 99% chance he or she is gaslighting you. By Sarah P. While I have written about gaslighting before, I recently had an […]

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lessons learned after infidelity

4 Lessons Learned from 2+ Years of Hell

By “Jack” Several months back we had a mentoring client, “Jack,” who was betrayed by his wife.  Recently he sent us an email expressing his desire to write a post sharing some of his experiences and lessons learned after infidelity.   Please read on… I am very sorry you are reading this.  You are undoubtedly going […]

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