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EA or PA? The Labels We Assign to Affairs – Are They Really Important?

By “Rose” Lately I have been journaling a lot; suggested by my therapist, it really helps to get the emotions out. Sometimes I’ll write my spouse a nasty-gram but then don’t send it because the action of writing it helps me a lot. What I have been thinking about lately is the labels we assign […]

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Gaslighting quote

When Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and the Other Person Are All Best Friends in their Non-Existence

By Sarah P. While the title of this post seems comical at first, this is a title that is quite literal since it hints at gaslighting. I wanted to revisit the topic of gaslighting and how wayward spouses use it. It is essential to understand it and recognize it to preserve your equilibrium as a […]

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Why the Pick-Me Dance Does Not Work

Copyright Jim Davis. Jim Davis, if you are reading, I spent many an evening at Fox Fire’s and spent lots of money there just to save my sanity from the hell that is that particular town. I also did you the courtesy of not bothering you at your house (located on you know what lake) […]

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you cannot make your spouse cheat

Tales of Several Relationships and More Reasons Why You Cannot Make Your Spouse Cheat

By Sarah P. My husband reads the New York Times every night before bed. Sometimes he will find a particular obnoxious article OR a particularly moving article and forward them to me. I read two different accounts in the Modern Love section, one very moving article about the SELFLESSNESS of people with integrity and another […]

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Understanding Gaslighting: A Brand of Jedi Mind Tricks

This article will help you in understanding gaslighting more, as well as how to recognize and respond to it. If your wayward spouse is making you doubt your own sanity, there is a 99% chance he or she is gaslighting you. By Sarah P. While I have written about gaslighting before, I recently had an […]

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lessons learned after infidelity

4 Lessons Learned from 2+ Years of Hell

By “Jack” Several months back we had a mentoring client, “Jack,” who was betrayed by his wife.  Recently he sent us an email expressing his desire to write a post sharing some of his experiences and lessons learned after infidelity.   Please read on… I am very sorry you are reading this.  You are undoubtedly going […]

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I love you, but I am not in love with you

The Most Horrific Sentence in the English Language: I Love You, But I Am Not in Love with You.

“I love you, but I am not in love with you” is a catchall phrase that does not force people to look deeper or to find the real problem. By Sarah P. Step right up folks and take a look: here before you sits the famous House of Horrors. It does not matter the time […]

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Summary of the 2017 Reader Survey

  We’re sure you’re just chomping at the bit to see the results of our most recent annual survey!  OK, well maybe not so much.  But the results had a few surprises when compared to last year’s survey. First of all, we wish to thank everyone who took time out of their busy day to […]

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Enabling and Codependence

Playing the Double Fool: Mistaking Enabling and Codependence for Lovingkindness

By Sarah P. I do not know what it is about the past couple of months that has turned many normally grounded people into huge fools. But, I have seen it everywhere. I have seen well-meaning betrayed spouses/partners responding in the most inappropriate ways to wayward spouses/partners. It seems that a wayward spouses egregious behavior […]

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Is It Possible to Recover from an Affair

Translating Affair Speak – Who Are You and What Have You Done With My Spouse?

By Sarah P. Have you ever noticed that your wayward spouse says some of the most off-the-wall things sometimes? Never in a million years would you have expected some things to come out of the mouth of your dearest and beloved husband or wife. Yet, there you are, standing in disbelief, while your husband/wife is […]

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