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four horsemen - contempt

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Part 2: Contempt

By Sarah P. This blog post is the continuation of a four-part series on Dr. John Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. In the first blog post in this series, I discussed criticism, which was the first of the Four Horsemen. In this post, I will discuss contempt and the role it plays in destroying […]

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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse – Part One: Criticism

  By Sarah P. To start off the New Year well, Doug, Linda, and I decided it was time to take a closer look at how to build more successful marriages. As of today, there is no better theory on how to have successful marriages than the theories of Drs. John and Julie Gottman. Often, […]

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male infidelity

You Have Come A Long Way, Baby! – Female Gender Roles as an Attempt to Curtail Male Infidelity

By Sarah P. If you have been through an affair, you have come a long way, baby. You know your story backwards and forwards and have become a wiser person. You have been able to piece together how you got there and how far you have come. (By the way, I do smoke and I […]

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Spouse Poachers

Spouse Poachers: When it’s open season on your husband, you need to have a plan

When you are dealing with a spouse poacher, she thinks any season is a good season to poach another woman’s husband. By Sarah P. You have been through it and you know the drill. Your husband has been unfaithful and you are unsure whether or not he will be unfaithful again. To make matters worse, […]

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Hedonic Adaptation in relationships

Neither the Supermodel Nor the Housewife Wins: Hedonic Adaptation in Relationships and How it Could Play a Role in Infidelity

By Sarah P. What do men like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Robin Williams, Ben Affleck, Jude Law, and Hugh Grant have in common? On the other side, what do women like Adrianna Lima, Christie Brinkley, Shania Twain, Jennifer Garner, and Liz Hurley have in common? All of these people are bound together by a commonality that has […]

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rebuilding a marriage

Make This D-Day Your Last – What Works in Rebuilding a Marriage after Infidelity

Making this D-Day your last has three key components or considerations. Making this D-Day your last requires activity and honest assessment on your part. I will first discuss the elements that help in rebuilding a marriage after infidelity. If those don’t work, you can still stay if you choose to. However, there are times when […]

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why people cheat

Why People Cheat – 11 Reasons to Consider

This week Bella Ryan was kind enough to write a guest post for us offering her observations and opinions on the possible reasons why people cheat.  Thanks Bella!   Cheating on Your Spouse – Understanding the Dilemma Did you know that more than 50% of people in committed relationships cheat on each other? What’s more astounding […]

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bumping into another

What to Do if You Run Into Your Affair Partner

POST UPDATE:   So it finally happened.  After more than 6 years, I ran into the OW.  Well sort of.  Just about every day at some point, me and my faithful dog head out for about a 3-mile hike on some trails at a county park near our home.  It’s been hot as hell around here […]

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nip flirting in the bud

Nip Flirting In the Bud Before It Happens (Again)

by Sarah P. I firmly believe that if a couple is to recover from an affair, there are certain behaviors that must be changed. There are other behaviors that must be dropped altogether if recovery is to be possible. The behavior that needs to go is flirting. I believe that extreme flirtation opens the door […]

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wired for monogamy

Cheating Men: If you are one of them, don’t be fooled by what evolutionary psychology says about your wiring

By Sarah P. I have found that many men’s favorite straw-man argument that validates infidelity is the argument that men have evolved to have a sole purpose in life: to spread their seed. This spurious argument, which has been brought forth by evolutionary psychologists, allows men less accountability for non-monogamous behavior. I will hand it to […]

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