This page contains various resources that we’ve found to be beneficial in our recovery from infidelity.
E-Books and Courses
Every program that we recommend is one that we have actually purchased or reviewed ourselves.
“Break Free From the Affair”
by Dr. Robert Huizenga. This book by the “Infidelity Coach” discusses the various types of affairs and what to do about them. For our review of this book, click here.
“Save Your Marriage Without ‘Working on it’ or ‘Talking’ – 27 days to create a love you can TRUST” by Dr. Robert Huizenga. Dr. Huizenga shares his marriage saving expertise in this book and lets you know his views on the right way and the wrong way to save your marriage.
“Marriage Fitness” by Mort Fertel. We really like Mort’s approach to things and have enjoyed this program very much. His program is a comprehensive marriage counseling alternative resource offering assessments and exercises for building a strong marriage. He offers various options depending on your situation and budget. For our review of his program, click here.
Understanding WHY – A 10-Step Course for Unfaithful Partners – Written and developed by licensed counselor Tim Tedder, this online course helps unfaithful partners gain deeper insights into why they had an affair and identify the changes needed to guard against future infidelity.
Move at your own pace as you work through the ten individual lessons.
“Save the Marriage” by Lee Baucom. Lee is a Ph.D who lets you know what works and what doesn’t work when trying to save your marriage. Mr. Baucom’s program offers sound, practical and easy to implement advice and strategies.
“The Art & Science of Love” by Ph.D John Gottman & Ph.D Julie Schwartz Gottman. Great stuff from the Gottman’s workshop, whether your marriage is in trouble or not. Replay of their renowned marriage workshop which includes 4 DVDs and a manual, complete with workshop exercises. All materials and presentations are based on Dr. John Gottman’s 30 years of research with couples. This program teaches to help you work on what’s important in a relationship.
Affair Recovery – At Affair Recovery, they truly understand the pain of affairs and betrayal because they’ve been there themselves. Their mission is to help people heal by blending a solid, research-based curriculum with the power of collaborative support. This approach provides real solace and recovery for both couples and individuals. All their materials are crafted by clinical professionals who have personally walked through the fire of infidelity.
Infidelity Guides
We have created 3 Infidelity Guides that include several posts that are topic specific. They are…
Surviving the Affair Discovery (D-day)
Books from The Library
One or both of us has read virtually every book about infidelity on Amazon it seems at some point! Here are our absolute favorites:
“Torn Asunder” with the Workbook by David Carder. For our review of this book, go to the “Reviews” page and scroll down.
“The Monogamy Myth” by Peggy Vaughan – One of the best books we have read on recovering from an affair. Peggy writes from experience as her husband had multiple affairs over a several year period.
“The Divorce Remedy” by Michelle Weiner-Davis
“Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus” by John Gray
“Infidelity: A Survival Guide” by Don-David Lusterman
“Emotional Infidelity: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 other Secrets to a Great Relationship” by M. Gary Neuman
“Love Must be Tough” by Dr. James C. Dobson
“Passion” by Barbara De Angelis
“Happy for No Reason” by Marci Shimoff
“Surviving an Affair” by Dr. Willard Harley
Websites
Break-free-from-the-affair.com – Dr. Robert Huizenga’s site offers articles, free resources and blog about infidelity.
Talkaboutmarriage.com – many forums on all aspects of marriage.
Psychologytoday.com – lots of articles on infidelity by professional therapist and psychologists.
Marriagebuilders.com – Dr. Willard Harley’s site is chock full of articles, audios and forums.
Divorcebusting.com – Michelle Weiner-Davis has a very good site with lots of relationship advice and articles.
Dear Peggy – Website of the late author Peggy Vaughan, author of Monogamy Myth and several other books. Lots of good stuff on this site.
Sober Nation – The nation’s largest recovery network and database for addiction treatment centers on the internet. They offer a variety of services and treatment options for anyone struggling with addiction.
To Blossom and Back – Paul Hopkins sheds light on emotional affairs – the highs the lows – based on his own experiences.
Miscellaneous
Signs of Cheating:
- Book by Ruth Houston–“Is He Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs.” The e-book comes with a couple of added bonus sections: For men –Is SHE Cheating? And a section with affair recovery advice.
- Other books about the signs of cheating .
Should you spy?
- A brief free report (13 pages) by Dr. Robert Huizenga entitled “Should I Spy?” discusses the pros and cons of spying to find out the truth.
Catch a Cheating Spouse E-books:
- Comprehensive e-book by Sarah Paul, “How to Catch a Cheating Spouse,” addresses virtually every aspect of cheating along with ways to determine if your spouse may be cheating. Discusses spying methods and equipment. One of the bonuses of purchasing this book is a free download of Sherlock Pro computer monitoring software. We’ve personally reviewed this book and do recommend it.
- “How to Catch Your Cheating Lover” by Edward Talurdey: Similar program to the above. Offers techniques and resources to catch a cheater along with some added bonuses.
Reading Body Language:
- Here’s a brief 3 minute video where a retired FBI agent discusses how to read a person’s body language to tell if they are lying. To watch it click here.
- Two books on the subject: “What Every Body is Saying” by Joe Navarro and “Body Language 101” by David Lambert.
Computer Monitoring:
Keylogging software allows for tracking (or logging) the keys struck on a computer keyboard, typically in a covert manner so that the person using the keyboard is unaware that their actions are being monitored.
- CNET offers a Free Keylogger download for you to check out.
Other Spy Devices:
- A variety of devices to catch a cheating spouse. This page has numerous Catch a Cheater products such as GPS tracking devices, cell phone monitoring devices, SIM card readers (for reading deleted texts), mini covert cameras, computer monitoring devices, etc.
Phone and Email Searches:
- Google: To find who a phone number belongs to, first try to do a search on Google. Type phone number (cell phones too) in quotations (try both with and without dashes)and hit search. For example, “555-123-4567”
- Reverse Phone Serches: The Phone Detective offers searches for cell phones, landlines and business phone numbers. The service provides access to high-quality data with a high-frequency of matches. Nobody has 100% of numbers, and any claims otherwise simply aren’t true. Not a “phone book” for cell phone numbers. This is a paid service, but can offer you more information than a Google search. A full phone report is $19.90 and a one year Premium Membership is $44.90 and offers unlimited people searches and phone lookups.
- Email Finder: Find nearly anyone’s email. Search by name or email address to find contact information, social networks, and professional listings. It’s a reverse email search to find out who the account is registered to. This is a paid service and a single email report is $14.95, or you can do unlimited searches for $1.95 per month.