the blame for infidelity

Goldi-Child, the Three Bears, and Beds: Who Takes the Blame for Infidelity?

By Sarah P. Sometimes people think I am too hard on the affair partner. There is a backstory as to why, but since people who read this blog do not know me, I have hesitated sharing all of it. After all, the lives of other people are not TV shows where we sit back and […]

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The State of Things – A Personal Update

It’s been awhile since we’ve posted an article of a personal nature.  An article where we more or less step away from the infidelity talk, and simply bring you up to speed about stuff that’s going on in our lives.  So that’s what we’re going to do! Where the Heck is Linda? As you make […]

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When Your Husband Gets the Other Woman Pregnant

The Ultimate Poach: When Your Husband Gets the Other Woman Pregnant

By Sarah P. Wives, knowing what your husband has done with the OW, does not have to ruin your marriage. Linda and Doug have been receiving many emails lately where wives have unfortunately found out their husband’s mistress is pregnant OR their husband already has had a child with his mistress/OW. So they asked me […]

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You Decide

How to Handle Triggers – You Decide!

  This is the latest installment of our ‘You Decide’ series where you will provide your opinion on a fictional affair scenario.  This time we’re considering a situation where Phil had multiple physical encounters outside of marriage – over 40 years ago.  His wife discovered one of his infidelities after finding some old letters stored […]

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Oh No, It’s Mr. Bill: The Real Life Story of a Sex-Addicted, Narcissistic Man

By Sarah P. Even though this is a post on sex-addiction, this post contains a little bit of everything as well as many mini-stories and anecdotes. In this post, we will take an unflinching look at how sex-addiction plays out in real life. Some of the stories will be sad while others will (hopefully) provide […]

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Open 'Mic' 31

Open ‘Mic’ Discussion #31 – What’s On Your Mind?

It’s hard to believe that our last Open ‘Mic’ Discussion was all the way back in February. So let’s get to it again! But first… We were contacted a while back by Darylevuanie Johnson,  a licensed professional counselor who helps individuals recover from the impact of infidelity in his practice. At this moment, he is a doctoral student at […]

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you cannot make your spouse cheat

Tales of Several Relationships and More Reasons Why You Cannot Make Your Spouse Cheat

By Sarah P. My husband reads the New York Times every night before bed. Sometimes he will find a particular obnoxious article OR a particularly moving article and forward them to me. I read two different accounts in the Modern Love section, one very moving article about the SELFLESSNESS of people with integrity and another […]

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Getting the Affair Details – Maybe Trickle Truth is Best for Everyone

Getting the affair details – as little or as much as the betrayed spouse wants – is vital for healing. Yet, sometimes it works out that getting them gradually over time is best. By “TryingToGetOver” When I joined this forum I was in shock over my husband’s affair. One of the first emails from the […]

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Understanding Gaslighting: A Brand of Jedi Mind Tricks

This article will help you in understanding gaslighting more, as well as how to recognize and respond to it. If your wayward spouse is making you doubt your own sanity, there is a 99% chance he or she is gaslighting you. By Sarah P. While I have written about gaslighting before, I recently had an […]

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but I'm telling the truth

But I’m Telling the Truth! – When the Betrayed Spouse Doesn’t Believe the Unfaithful Person Even When They are Telling the Truth

Sometimes when the wayward spouse says, “But I’m telling the truth,” they really are. But it can be hard for them to believed – for good reasons. By  Doug Having mentored quite a few well-meaning wayward spouses lately, I’ve noticed a common frustration that several of them mentioned… Their betrayed spouses (BS) not believing them […]

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