Staying Empowered

You Have the Power – Staying Empowered Through the Holidays and Beyond

Note:  Infidelity is a traumatizing event that often makes the betrayed feel powerless and unable to cope or take action. Often though, a victim mentality becomes the coping mechanism used to survive fear, pain, and to recover basic psychological needs such as safety, love, affection, and self-esteem. This week Sarah P. has crafted a very […]

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emotional manipulation

Cheaters Can Be Masters at Emotional Manipulation

I was exchanging emails with a woman recently whose husband had an affair lasting about 2 years, and whose behavior since discovery has been incredibly bad.  During our exchange, she forwarded me some texts that her husband had sent where he was expressing his deep sense of guilt and that he ‘didn’t know if he […]

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cheating to avoid commitment

Runaway Spouse: Cheating to Avoid Commitment

By Sarah P. Do you know how to spot a commitment-phobic person? It’s easy to spot the glaring examples of these people, but not so easy to spot clandestine commitment phobes. (I will call them CCP for short.) Most people have probably seen or heard about the film Runaway Bride that starred Julia Roberts. Each […]

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divorced after the affair

Discussion – Why Didn’t You Get Divorced After the Affair?

Almost 87% of you are still married after discovery of the affair. And most of you made that decision fairly soon after D-day.  Why is that? In one of our reader surveys it was apparent that most of those who responded made the decision rather quickly to remain married after the affair. The data showed that 80.3% of […]

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making excuses for infidelity

Stop Making Excuses for Infidelity: It’s Not in Your Biology; It’s a Decision

By Sarah P. Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on […]

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The Funeral

We received a call from Linda’s brother that his ex-wife passed away early in the morning on October 26.  She died of complications from Cirrhosis of the liver.  She had massive internal bleeding and basically bled to death. Not a week earlier, we had talked to one of our nieces on the phone and she told […]

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how porn addiction affects your marriage

Silent Infidelity: How Porn Addiction Affects Your Marriage

By Sarah P.  We all know that pornography has negative affects—but can pornography use be considered a form of infidelity? In this blog post, I will address the social impacts that are occurring due to the proliferation of pornography, the affects of pornography on the brain, how porn addiction affects your marriage, and whether or […]

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our affair recovery journey

Our Hike in the Forest – A Metaphor for Our Affair Recovery Journey

By Linda Fall is our favorite time of year.  So far, it has been a beautiful one with bright sunny days and temperatures in the 70’s. Last weekend we took advantage of the weather, loaded up our trailer and went camping at a state park that’s just about an hour or so from our home. […]

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staying after cheating

Staying After Cheating: Is It the Right Thing to Do?

By Sarah P. Doug suggested an interesting post topic for this week. The post was inspired by his recent observations about the presidential race taking more of an even more personal turn. Recently Donald Trump has been in the news because of more inflammatory marks toward Hillary Clinton. (Surprise, surprise.) His recent attack has focused on […]

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Our Affair Recovery

Our Affair Recovery – Two Subtle Shifts That Made a Difference

  By Doug Recently I’ve been mentoring a lot of people who are struggling with this whole affair recovery process. Up until now, about 95% of the people I speak with are betrayed spouses (almost always women) who are trying to figure out what the heck could be going through the minds of their unfaithful […]

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