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Getting the Affair Details – Maybe Trickle Truth is Best for Everyone

Getting the affair details – as little or as much as the betrayed spouse wants – is vital for healing. Yet, sometimes it works out that getting them gradually over time is best. By “TryingToGetOver” When I joined this forum I was in shock over my husband’s affair. One of the first emails from the […]

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Understanding Gaslighting: A Brand of Jedi Mind Tricks

This article will help you in understanding gaslighting more, as well as how to recognize and respond to it. If your wayward spouse is making you doubt your own sanity, there is a 99% chance he or she is gaslighting you. By Sarah P. While I have written about gaslighting before, I recently had an […]

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but I'm telling the truth

But I’m Telling the Truth! – When the Betrayed Spouse Doesn’t Believe the Unfaithful Person Even When They are Telling the Truth

Sometimes when the wayward spouse says, “But I’m telling the truth,” they really are. But it can be hard for them to believed – for good reasons. By  Doug Having mentored quite a few well-meaning wayward spouses lately, I’ve noticed a common frustration that several of them mentioned… Their betrayed spouses (BS) not believing them […]

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Why Affair Sex Matters: An Unflinching Look at Sex and Its Harmful Affects

  This article will take an unflinching look at why extramarital sex is so harmful. By Sarah P. My articles generally favor reconciliation and center around reconciliation topics. This article is different because the topic I will address has nothing to do with reconciliation or divorce. This is not a happy article, but it is […]

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the urge for revenge

Discussion – The Urge for Revenge

What about the urge for revenge after the affair? For many betrayed spouses, the thought of having a revenge affair of their own is a thought that races through their minds at one time or another. Many have feelings that they want to make their spouse hurt as much as they have been hurt. But […]

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Changing Places: When the Wayward Spouse Identifies as the Victim

It can be almost impossible to  reason with or repair your marriage when the wayward spouse identifies as the victim. By Sarah P. Any of us who have been betrayed spouses know that our wayward spouses do and say some of the most outrageous things we have ever heard or experienced. One of the most […]

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Get in Touch with Your Own Power

It’s imperative that you get in touch with your own power after infidelity strikes. By Linda & Doug We wanted to address a common struggle that many – if not most – of our betrayed readers and members experience at some point in their recovery and healing process.  A loss of control or power of […]

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Looking for the One Foot Out the Door: Musings on Abandonment

One of the things that betrayed spouses face on a daily basis are feelings of abandonment. Sometimes these feelings are barely lurking in the background as fleeting shadows as you go about your day. Other times these feelings are at the forefront of your mind and enter your mind with a ferocity that leaves you […]

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mask

Let’s Get to Know One Another Better!

We thought we’d do something a little different this week.  Actually, we first did this about 5 years ago and it was a big success.  Anyways, since our reader base tends to change over time, we thought now would be a good time to do this again.  Do what? (You might ask.) Keep reading. The […]

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Power of the mind

The Psychology of Affairs: The Games People Play and the Lies that Bind 

  A small peek into the psychology of affairs, what makes affairs tick and how people can get caught up in a very false and misleading psychology in order to continue an affair. By Sarah P. While we have talked a lot about the concept of the affair fog and the fact that it causes […]

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