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man staring at sunset

Introspection On the Part of the Betrayed Spouse

By ‘Blindsided’ I am Blindsided. I chose this name for this site, because that is what happened to me. I was 100% blindsided when I found out, quite accidentally that my husband was engaged in an affair. At the time – my D Day – I did not know that it was an emotional affair, […]

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Eureka, We Found it: The Recent Origins of Blaming the Betrayed Spouse

  By Sarah P. For a while, I have wondered how the myth of blaming the (usually) female betrayed spouse found its way into modern psychology. After all, modern psychology purports to be a science and an art. Indeed, thousands of studies have occurred just in the past decade within the field of psychology. But, […]

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couple climbing a mountain

A Tribute to All of the Wonderful Women and Men Who Walk Alongside Us

By Sarah P. You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Surviving is important; thriving is elegant. My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some […]

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Affair Discovery – Like Getting Hit By a Truck

By “TryingToGetOver”   The last thing I wanted to hear when my husband’s affair was discovered was how long and hard the road to recovery would be. But it takes work and time, and there’s no getting around it, only through it. We are 7 months post Discovery Day number three (aka the time it finally […]

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a metaphor for affair recovery

Row the Boat – A Metaphor for Affair Recovery

  By Doug A few weeks ago, I couldn’t sleep.  Usually when this happens I either head down to my basement office and start working, or I head to the couch, flip on the TV and hope to find some sort of sporting event I can watch with the sound off so that it puts […]

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the blame for infidelity

Goldi-Child, the Three Bears, and Beds: Who Takes the Blame for Infidelity?

By Sarah P. Sometimes people think I am too hard on the affair partner. There is a backstory as to why, but since people who read this blog do not know me, I have hesitated sharing all of it. After all, the lives of other people are not TV shows where we sit back and […]

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narcissist face

Narcissism: The Difference Between Affair-Driven Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder

By Sarah P.  When an individual is having an affair and/or in the middle of the affair fog, they often do and say the same things that life-long narcissists do and say. During this period of time, the betrayed spouse is left wondering if they married someone with narcissistic personality disorder. The betrayed spouse will […]

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New Year New You

Taking Inventory: A New Approach to the New Year & A Betrayed Spouse’s Bill of Rights

By Sarah P. Originally, I had planned to write a post about New Year’s resolutions for marriage, but Linda and Doug covered that perfectly. I wanted to cover the change in the new year from a different perspective and the idea of an inventory seemed perfect. This concept is especially helpful regarding the concept of […]

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When Recovering from an Affair

It’s Time for a Christmas Miracle: How to Have a Holiday Truce When Recovering from an Affair

By Sarah P. Despite all the messages that tell us to spread cheer or have a Holly-Jolly Christmas, the holidays can be a very difficult time for many people. Not all families are as happy as television commercials portray and not all Hanukkahs or Christmases inspire feelings of joy and togetherness. When recovering from an […]

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reasons cheaters don’t want to talk about their affair

The Real Reasons Cheaters Don’t Want to Talk About Their Affair

I wanted to piggy-back just a bit off Sarah P’s excellent post from last week and provide you with some more reasons cheaters don’t want to talk about their affair and/or provide the betrayed person with much – if any details. By Doug After all the secrecy and lying that usually comes with having an […]

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