“I love you, but I am not in love with you” is a catchall phrase that does not force people to look deeper or to find the real problem. By Sarah P. Step right up folks and take a look: here before you sits the famous House of Horrors. It does not matter the time […]
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Summary of the 2017 Reader Survey
We’re sure you’re just chomping at the bit to see the results of our most recent annual survey! OK, well maybe not so much. But the results had a few surprises when compared to last year’s survey. First of all, we wish to thank everyone who took time out of their busy day to […]
Playing the Double Fool: Mistaking Enabling and Codependence for Lovingkindness
By Sarah P. I do not know what it is about the past couple of months that has turned many normally grounded people into huge fools. But, I have seen it everywhere. I have seen well-meaning betrayed spouses/partners responding in the most inappropriate ways to wayward spouses/partners. It seems that a wayward spouses egregious behavior […]
Translating Affair Speak – Who Are You and What Have You Done With My Spouse?
By Sarah P. Have you ever noticed that your wayward spouse says some of the most off-the-wall things sometimes? Never in a million years would you have expected some things to come out of the mouth of your dearest and beloved husband or wife. Yet, there you are, standing in disbelief, while your husband/wife is […]
Is It Possible that Adult ADHD Contributed to an Affair?
Why you should ask if adult ADHD may be the elephant in the room. By Melissa Orlov When your partner has an affair, one of your first instincts is to try to figure out what happened. What led you both to this place? One possible factor that neither partners, nor therapists, commonly consider is that […]
Musings on Infidelity: Affairs Are Not Original and Not Excusable
By Sarah P. The things that people say and do during affairs are so predictable that it is almost funny. Unfortunately, broken trust, destroyed lives, and broken families are no laughing matter. Still, there are patterns that all affairs follow; there are universal actions on the part of the wayward spouse; and there are the […]
John Gottman’s Four Horsemen: Defensiveness
By Sarah P. This post is the third segment in the John Gottman’s Four Horsemen series. In this post, I will be discussing defensiveness. But, before we jump into the post, I would like for you to watch this video. It’s only about 5 minutes long so let’s dive in: I really like […]
Coping with the Pain of Infidelity
We received an email the other day from a reader who writes the following: I have been in contact with you during the last few months. Your site continues to be a great resource for me as I have come to terms with what happened in my marriage. We are the couple […]
The Ache of Affairs and What You Can Do About It
By Sarah P. The one question that people ask after their partner has had an affair is “why?” There are many answers to this question, but not enough information on what to do about it. In this blog post, I will talk about my own answer to the “why” and “what.” But first, let’s define […]
Cheaters Can Be Masters at Emotional Manipulation
I was exchanging emails with a woman recently whose husband had an affair lasting about 2 years, and whose behavior since discovery has been incredibly bad. During our exchange, she forwarded me some texts that her husband had sent where he was expressing his deep sense of guilt and that he ‘didn’t know if he […]
Discover the 10 Most Important Lessons about Surviving Infidelity
This short guide tells you what you need to know to survive the affair, heal yourself and emerge on the other side a stronger person.
Infidelity Guides
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It’s Tough To Stop an Emotional Affair
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When the Other Woman Becomes the Wife
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The Runaway Spouse Syndrome
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Real Reasons the Emotional Affair Happened
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Staying After Cheating: Is It the Right Thing to Do?
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How Does A Betrayed Spouse Heal from Cheating?
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Open House Discussion
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Does the Other Woman Play A Role In an Affair or Does the Blame Land Solely on the Cheating Husbands? YOU Decide
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Trying to Get Inside the Mind of the Other Woman – 5 Reasons the OW Does What She Does
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Behavior Towards Betrayed Spouses that is No Longer Acceptable
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5 Things That Point to Healing After Betrayal
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Do You Have an Ethical Obligation to Tell the Betrayed Spouse that Their Spouse is Cheating?
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Open ‘Mic’ Discussion #33 – What’s On Your Mind Today?
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What to Say When a Wayward Spouse Blames You for the Affair
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How to End an Affair – The Right Way
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That Paradox of the Look of Disgust
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June: He may also choose to marry the other woman. Thre...
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Soul mate: Thank you so much TrytoGetOver and Hopeful for you...
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Rod: Jane, are you still in touch with this site (no po...
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Margaret: Last to know... I don't think you will see this r...
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Nikol: Exactly! I feel the same but I realize I cannot co...
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lmastermind: Even if the marriage does have problems it is u...
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Rose: Sarah, you know I'm in! Maybe you can use a nursi...
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Chapter3: Wow well said! I couldn’t agree more!...
Discover the 10 Most Important Lessons about Surviving Infidelity
This short guide tells you what you need to know to survive the affair, heal yourself and emerge on the other side a stronger person.
