top tenWell friends, we have reached the final stretch of another year. After publishing 140 articles over the past twelve months, we’d like to share the 10 most popular posts of the year.

For us, it has been interesting to review our work – along with the work of some generous guest posters – and see which articles exploded out of the gate and which ones limped across the finish line. For you, we think it’s nice to have a summary of the articles that are worth your time and attention.

Let’s get into it (in no particular order)…

1.  When the Affair Partners Work Together –  Many affairs start in the workplace. Relationships are created and can get out of hand if boundaries are not in place and adhered to. Work can be a dangerous environment and can create temptation for the CS, while the BS is left trying to cope with more stress, anxiety and distrust.

2.  Do You Trust Your Partner? Rebuilding trust after an affair has always been the top struggle that couples go through based on our surveys. In this article, Dr. Bob Huizenga discusses trust and how the need system of each spouse makes trust quite fragile.

3.  Principles That Ensure a Harmonious, Sensual, and Faithful MarriageGuest poster Sarah P. belongs to an inter-faith family, Christianity and reformed Judaism and wrote an interesting article about common beliefs and values within modern Orthodox Judaism that contribute to fidelity as well as sensuality within a marriage.

4.  Should You Confront the Other Person?In past surveys that we have conducted, one of the most frequent questions that readers ask is whether or not they should confront their spouse’s affair partner. This post and comments provide some opinions on that.

5.  Point and Counterpoint – Are Affairs Based on Fantasy or Not?One belief that we have always held is that affairs start and flourish under the veil of fantasy, and that the whole relationship is over-romanticized. This post presents a debate between a betrayed spouse and an unfaithful spouse over that idea.

6.  Should You Stay Or Should You Go? Know the 9 Common Traits of A Serial Cheater So You Can DecideAnother nice article from Sarah P. where she addresses a reader’s query as to whether or not there was a way to know if a person who cheated would be a repeat offender. Her post tackles the traits that set serial cheaters apart from “one hit wonders.”

7.  Rationalizing the Emotional Affair as ‘Just Friends’Many cheaters deny their emotional affair was even affair as the other person was “just a friend.” Even more heinous is the thought that an emotional affair isn’t an affair at all because there wasn’t any sex involved. But there was deception and that makes it wrong.

8.  How Do Cheaters Keep Their Affairs a Secret?This discussion post asked the following questions: To what extent did you or your spouse go to in order to hide or otherwise keep the affair a secret? How did you (or your spouse) cover your trail? How did you or your spouse eventually get caught?

9.  Sexual Intimacy After an AffairThis post talks about one of the hardest things to do after there has been infidelity – restoring sexual intimacy in a marriage.

10. The Office Wife & Violating the Girl CodeThis post presents a real case study, if you will, about the damage an “office wife” caused when she targeted a married man in order to gain a promotion.


4 Posts That Deserve a Second Look

As always, there were many posts that we thought were great, but didn’t make the cut for the top 10 of the year. Here are three that are our personal favorites and think are worth a second look…

1.  You Must Stop Being the Victim

2.  Stirring Things Up – Finding Meaning in the Affair

3.  4 Lessons Learned: 20 Years After My Affair

4.  The Change is Coming


Want More?

You are always welcome to browse the full archives to see all of the posts we have written to date – all 884 of them.

Also, we intentionally left out most of the “Discussion” posts, but many important topics have been discussed throughout the year (and past years). If so desired, you can peruse the topics here.

Thanks for reading!

Linda & Doug


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