Buying a new car is like a new beginning for us.

Last week while at work I received a call from Doug informing me that he had been involved in somewhat of an accident. As he was turning into our subdivision, the front driver’s side wheel came completely off of our vehicle. 

Obviously the car grinded to a complete halt and Doug was stranded about a mile from our house as the tow truck carried “Old Betsy” away.

We’ve had “Old Betsy” for just shy of 10 years and have accumulated almost 200,000 miles  driving our family, friends, various teammates and outdoor gear all over the country.  It was a great vehicle because it seated 8 comfortably and had plenty of room for all of our stuff – and then some. 

The only drawback was that it averaged just about 15 miles per gallon on the highway so we would spend hundreds of dollars each month on gas.  So, after Doug’s incident I proclaimed it was time to put “Old Betsy” in the garage and buy a new, economical car.

We had been contemplating buying a new car for a couple of years but I just wouldn’t commit.  As many of you have experienced after infidelity, commitment can be very difficult – even when it pertains to something relatively minor like buying a new car.  I just wasn’t ready.  However, after the incident I finally knew it was time.

Doug was ready to initiate the purchase as he had already done the research and was pretty much just waiting for my commitment.  The next day he went out and test drove a car and while at the dealer texted me to schedule a time for me to go and see it. Still on the fence, I put everything in his hands, proclaiming that I trusted him to make the right decision. 

Looking back, I am not sure if that was really the case or that I couldn’t put myself out there or that I really just hate buying cars.  Whatever the reason, he took care of everything and the car would be ready the next day.

Doug and I left early on a Saturday morning to pick up the new car (you have to understand we haven’t bought a new car in 10  years so this was a very big deal) – and I have to say he did a great job!  I loved the car.  It was perfect. 

He drove the car home while I followed him and all of a sudden I started crying hysterically.  I am not sure if they were tears of joy or tears of sadness or a little bit of both.

As I was following him, I was reminded of the Doug that I knew 30 years ago when we first married.  He had a little Honda hatchback and we took that car on many camping trips.  The new car we chose was also a hatchback so we could fit all of our outdoor gear for our empty nest excursions.  I felt like this new car was the beginning of new adventures for us.

I felt like we had finally made it.  We have climbed the high mountain of raising our children, the trauma of infidelity and various other hardships.  It was now time for us to reap the benefits of our commitment and perseverance.  This new car represented our new life together and all the wonderful times that we have ahead.

I know we have done a great job as parents and we have worked very hard to have a marriage that we can be proud of.  Now it was time for us to celebrate our new lives together and be thankful that we both decided to stay together and work diligently to save our marriage.

As I was riding behind Doug I knew that there was no one else that I wanted to ride off in our little hatchback with.  We have been with each other for 33 years and we truly deserve this time together. 

It really makes me sad to think of all the people who didn’t feel that when the dirty diapers and carpooling are over there is a whole new life ahead that entails new adventures with each other, as well as with children and grandchildren.

This summer Doug and I have planned a special trip in our little hatchback.  We are taking a two week vacation and traveling over 4400 miles up to the Badlands, Yellowstone, Grand Teton and Salt Lake City.  We are packing our camping stuff and just playing it all by ear.  Just like two college kids on summer break. Though by the end of our trip we may be at each other’s throats!  I’ll be sure to let you know how it turns out .  😉

This was just a seemingly small thing that created a feeling of new beginnings.  Can you think of any similar occurrences that have signified new beginnings in your own relationship?


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    24 replies to "New Car and New Beginnings"

    • Strengthrequired

      My h bought a new car a couple of months ago. I was all for it, because he used to take coin it out in his other car, so I hated it. I was uncomfortable every time I was in it. So it wad like a relief to see it go. Yet I told him, cousin it was never to step a foot inside this car, it was a start of our new life we had started to change for the better and anything she had to touched was not going to be apart of it.
      Congratulations on the new car Doug and Linda.

    • chiffchaff

      that’s great to hear Linda & Doug, your road trip sounds amazing & I’m sure you’ll both really enjoy it together!

    • EyesOpened

      Wow – What a lovely, positive image to visualise. I’m already making up the jokes you’re telling each other and laughing!! Have a wonderful trip! RIP Betsy. What’s the new car called?

      • Doug

        Until we come up with something it’s called “Linda’s car” 😉

    • CBB

      Dear Doug and Linda, Your story but a big smile on my face! My lovestory(15y back) with my H started off with a story about a car and it became a cherrished one (the story as well as the car!) just a few months ago my H got the oppurtunity to by his dreamcar and when we drove home with the new car we both had a ‘déja-vu’ feeling It was the first time (in 2,5y) It felt like my H was really back again. We still have a way to go but that day was a major turning point.
      Thanks again for letting us share the good times as well as the bad.

    • tryinghard

      WOW 2 weeks to the National Parks. That is on our bucket list too but we want to pull a Silver Bullet (airstream). I want to park it by a stream so we can fish and hike! I’m jealous. You won’t be at each other’s throats you will have a great time.

      We are on our 3rd new car in 18 months. First he bought me a new car because we had 2 SUV’s, or that was his story, and he wanted a car. Then he got a new SUV because the OW helped him pick out the SUV he was driving and yes all sorts of crap happened in that car too. So it was either get rid of it or I was going to incinerate it! Then he decided he didn’t like my car and bought a new luxury car for me to drive. He says it’s my car but I say it is our car and I drive it 🙂 He can buy as many new cars as he likes. I don’t really become attached to material things and I don’t really care what I drive as long as it’s not a beater! Now he says he wants to trade his one year old SUV in because the car I drive has a turbo and he likes that better. WHATEVER…….

      Congrats on the new car. I hope you drive it another 200,00- miles happily together 🙂

      • Doug

        That was our original idea too (pulling a trailer that is) but we would have had to do so with “Old Betsy.” Obviously, that probably isn’t the smartest thing to do now. Therefore, we would have had to purchase both a trailer and a vehicle large enough to pull it. Both are a little pricey to say the least. Plan B will be to buy a motor home instead and pull our new car. that’s probably a few years down the road at this point, but who knows.

        Have you ever heard of “boondocking?” Basically, each national park (and many other forests and state parks) have sites where you can stay for free for up to 2 weeks at a time. Usually they are out in the middle of nowhere (the boonies) and away from all the crowds. You might want to check into it as these are the types of spots where you will find your stream to park by.

        • tryinghard

          That is a GREAT idea. I’ve never heard of “boondocking”. I would love not to see another human for a few days and stay out in the middle of no where. We like to fish and hike but I don’t think I could do the tent thing. I am toooo afraid of bears or wild cats. Not that a bear couldn’t get in a camper but it would be a little harder than a tent! I saw a site on FB about hiking the Pacific Rim Trail. That sounds very good to me too. I think we are going to CO this summer to hike, fish and golf. We won’t be camping because my friend has a beautiful home out there that she lets us use. Maybe we should start planning the national parks trip for next year. I can try to get him to leave for 2 weeks.

          • Doug

            Google “boondocking” and you will find all sorts of info on it. There are some good guides that tell you where all the spots are in each park. Bears make us a little nervous too but more so while hiking. When we backpacked several years ago in the Rockies our first day was great. We didn’t see a single person and it was a beautiful day, etc. When we got to our designated back country site, there was a sign warning us about recent bear activity in the area. We didn’t sleep a wink that night! Every little noise brought thoughts of a bear sneaking up on us. Never did see a bear, but saw a raccoon trying to get into our food (which was hanging from a tree) that was the size of a small one.

    • SamIam

      We are in the Badlands state 🙂

      • tryinghard

        WHOOOO HOOO!!! Free place to stay 🙂

      • Doug

        Good deal! Been there when I was a kid and now want to take Linda there. Expecting there to be some hot weather in July. If you have any suggestions, let me know!

        • SamIam

          Hot and humid! But the Badlands at night are cool (almost cold) and very very dark. Book early if you wish to camp there. Of course you need to see Mount Rushmore and the Black Hills if South Dakota (I think Doris Day sang a song about them) I am totally in love with my state.

          • Doug

            Now I wouldn’t have guessed it to be humid, but we’re preparing for 100 degree weather just the same. We do plan on hitting Mt. Rushmore though I hadn’t considered the Black Hills yet. I visited there as a child but don’t remember much about them. I will have to do some more research. Thanks for the info!

            • SamIam

              Not New-Orleans-type humidity but humid all the same. Humidity in SD means the corn is growing. The Black Hills are gorgeous but if you can only take in one thing (besides Mt. Rushmore,) a drive on the Needles Hwy is gorgeous. Have a great time. I agree about living life now. My Mother was only when we lost her. I wish we all could get out of our day-to-day and live like there is no tomorrow.

            • SamIam

              69 (re:my Mother)

            • Doug

              “Humidity in SD means the corn is growing” Ha! That’s funny! I will certainly check out the Needles Hwy. Thanks for the tip.

    • Hopeful

      Love this post.

    • EyesOpened

      Boondocking! What a fantastic word! I’m going to use that word as many times as I possibly can. I think you and Linda should call the new car ‘Boon’!! Or maybe Elsie (Linda ‘s Car. LC). I LOVE this site!!! Thanks for creating some more ‘happy’ to throw in the mixing bowl.

      • Doug

        I believe the term and the free camping idea originated with Walmart. Have you ever noticed how out in the corners of the parking lot at times there are either semi trucks or campers that are parked? Well, Walmart (most stores across the US) allows them to stay there overnight for free. That is your trivia lesson for the day! 😉

    • overwhelmed

      You two are a great inspiration to all of us struggling with our own relationships and I thank you for that.

    • Mona Lesia

      We have a motor home and have stayed in many WalMart parking lots overnight. We have ridden our motorcycles in 39 states and motor homed to Yellowstone a few years ago. The Grand Canyon, the Badlands, Colorado Rockies, and even got to ride my motorcycle to DC to participate in Rolling Thunder with about 300,000 other cyclists to honor our veterans. I met an older lady at a fuel station back in 1998, and as she was admiring my motorcycle she told me that she and her husband had always said they would travel and see a lot of things when they retired. She then said that he lived two months after retirement. She looked me straight in the eye, with her hand on my shoulder and said ” Don’t wait!! ” …… And I didn’t

      • Doug

        That sounds awesome. Linda has always said that she would look good sitting on the back of a Harley. (I agree of course) That lady you met at the gas station is 100% correct. I’ve heard similar stories of people passing away shortly after retirement and both Linda and I are of the mind to not wait around for retirement to live it up a little.

        • Mona Lesia

          Doug, it is just fine to sit on the back of a Harley…. But I much prefer riding my own. 🙂

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