I have another short video hot off the press to show you today. I found that the statistics that expert, Whitney Casey, noted were quite interesting:

  • 48% of men cheated because they were not feeling emotionally connected to their spouses.
  • 66% of those men who cheated never thought that they would have cheated, and are feeling guilty that they have.
  • 77% of cheating men tend to hang out with other cheaters.
  • 40% cheated with a co-worker.
  • And surprisingly…Only 12% of the men who cheated thought their mistress was better looking than their wife.

What stands out from these numbers and the rest of the video is the importance of couples to work hard on the emotional aspects of their marriage.  The cause of marital affairs aren’t necessarily due to a man (or woman) simply wanting to have sex with a hot woman (or man).  It is caused more often by a lack of emotional connection within the marriage or relationship.  So instead of working on our waistline or getting breast implants, perhaps we should try talking and listening more!


    6 replies to "Causes of Marital Infidelity"

    • michael

      I find it so disheartening to find statistics abundant on male infidelity. But statistics are much harder to find on women. The root causes are pretty close though. Disconnection between couples is tough.
      I looked back at the stages of my relationship. In the beginning it was courtship. Focus on us and having fun together. Than our first child came and we worked together to take care of her. Than when she was just starting to be independent we got pregnant with our second. After our son got bigger we found less and less things to work on together. A lack of great communication skills on both our parts didn’t allow us to grow into a new stage of our relationship.
      Hope that helps others. If your here you may allready have heard stories like mine. Good luck.

      • admin

        We too followed a similar path. I can’t stress how important it is to continue to reach out, connect and spend quality time with your spouse when you have young kids. Though we did share the wonderful times and memories of our kids, we didn’t make many of our own.

    • michael

      Why People cheat.
      Or why it is so much easier now than it used to be.

      He found my wife on a class reunion site then on another popular social site. Years after she had left that part of her past behind her. Here he comes from out of nowhere. Technology has began to mess up relationships. But it is ultimately their responsibility for what the choose to do. So I have a couple of things that I wanted to share.

      Text: It used to be that you had to talk face to face with a person or potential love. And fear kept you from giving away too much too soon. So like a person who has had to much at the bar, text let’s you feel a little less inhibited to say things. And easier to talk without looking stupid. If the other person replies in a way you don’t like. Ok, stop texting. “My phone went dead”
      Naked: For most people it can be uncomfortable to show yourself nude to someone new, because of fear they might not like what they see. So now you just email him or her your best “photoshopped” photos. And they won’t be as examining when they do get the chance.
      Porn: A somewhat normal guy would have to go to a shady part of a town, away from home, to buy a adult video or magazine. Feeling embarrassed about what he was buying. Now you can just download and watch whatever floats your boat in the comfort of your home when the wife, or husband, is away or asleep.
      Getting caught: With phone bills and credit card bills coming in the mail you had a chance of your spouse finding out what you are up to. Now with e-bills you can have them sent to a password protected e-mail account and delete when you pay. And oh boy does that delete key and empty mailbox get used a lot by a cheating spouse. Just clear your text messages and e-mails. Than go home like nothing.
      Just what came to mind right now. Maybe this blog or others can expand on this.

    • Marialatin

      Actually, there’s a lot of recent information on women cheating. The much media coverage is sparse for two reasons, fragile male ego and trends that frighten men. You can find many scholarly journal articles on modern marriage and women who cheat. In fact there was a recent publication that got some media coverage, “Why women marry” It turns out that the number of women who cheat in a marriage is rapidly approaching that of cheating men. Men are much less likely to detect a cheating wife because men think that women don’t cheat (media concentration on male cheating). 70% of divorces are initiated by women and a sizable proportion of women are unhappy in marriage. More young women have careers and money and are choosing not to marry. Married women meet their lovers at work, just like men. In addition, since women have financial resources these days, more are likely than ever to leave unsatisfactory marriages. These are the trends. Men in their 20’s are experiencing the changes in their relationships.

      I, for one, am happy to see these numbers. Women have more leverage in marriage and although most are unhappy, the next generation of women will force the evolution of marriage so that they are happy. Unlike women who are in their 50’s and 60’s, younger women are as likely to humiliate their husband as they are of being humiliated by a cheating husband. Men will not be so sure they will not be cheated upon or left. With such an even playing field, men will have more of an interest in pleasing their wives and staying connected, knowing that they no longer have the upper hand.

      • admin

        Thank you for sharing that very interesting information. You mention that most women are unhappy in their marriages. Was that from an actual study of some sort, or are you just speculating? You bring up some interesting points about how women have leverage and will in turn eventually cause husbands to work more at pleasing their wives.

    • Lesli Doares

      The problem lies in unhappy marriages. Unfortunately people don’t seek out the help that’s available in a timely fashion. No one has to be in an unhappy marriage. Cheating and divorce aren’t the only options. Taking your marriage seriously, making time to be with your spouse, and staying connected to them emotionally is all that’s necessary. If you don’t make your marriage as high a priority as your job or your children, you’re heading for trouble. If you don’t know how to do that, get help.

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