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betrayal makes you feel worthless

Why Betrayal Makes You Feel Worthless

The other day we received an email from a woman who has been betrayed by her husband of 27 years. His affair was both an EA and PA and not surprisingly it has torn her world apart. Though they’ve been able to “work things out,” the aftereffects of the affair still linger – some minor […]

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survive and thrive after infidelity

Survive and Thrive after Infidelity

We’ve had this blog now for almost five years, and over that period of time we’ve had the honor of communicating with thousands of people who have been affected in some way by infidelity. It just so happens that about 85% of the time it has been with those whose spouse has been unfaithful. In […]

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you must stop being the victim

You Must Stop Being the Victim

We’ve used the word victim a lot on this site; typically with respect to the person who has been betrayed by their partner’s infidelity. We use the term because the betrayed is indeed a victim. If you question that for any reason, then here is the official dictionary definition of victim: a person who suffers […]

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coping with infidelity

Coping with Infidelity – Self-Care and Living for Yourself

A few months ago I was mentoring a younger woman (younger than me at least) and she had recently discovered her husband’s 2-year long physical and emotional affair. Needless to say she was not in a good place at the time. As she told her story it became apparent that the affair was becoming extremely […]

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surviving an affair

Surviving an Affair Requires Effective Communication and ACTION

We’ve certainly discussed the fact that surviving an affair requires communication – effective communication, that is,  So today we wanted to give you some additional Do’s and Don’ts for improving communication, as well as introduce you to the ACTION formula. Marriage and Family Therapist, Jeff Murrah LPC, LMFT, LCDC delivered these nuggets during a webinar we […]

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Advice for Betrayed Spouses – What to Do and What Not to Do

We came across the following piece of advice somewhere online. Neither one of us can remember exactly where, though it has the distinct feel of the Marriage Builders forum. In general, it offers sound advice for betrayed spouses to follow after affair discovery. As with any advice piece, it may not apply in its entirety […]

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talking about the emotional affair

Post Rerun – Stupid Things I Did After the Emotional Affair

For the next couple of weeks both Linda and I will be extremely busy.  I’ve got a huge event going on for work that will demand a ton of my time, while Linda is dealing with her mother who was just diagnosed with possible kidney cancer.  (It was detected early so we’re pretty sure she […]

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common misconceptions about infidelity

The 9 Most Common Misconceptions about Infidelity

As a psychiatrist in the Brown University faculty, Scott Haltzman, MD has been researching men, women, marriage and relationships for more than a decade. In that time, he’s learned a lot about infidelity.  One thing he has realized is that when people find out about infidelity, they often make all kinds of assumptions about how and […]

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surviving an affair

Should You Tell Your Partner if You’re Having an Affair?

We received an email this past week that included a video recording of a Google Hangout session where there was a panel discussion of sorts about the pros and cons of whether one should tell their partner if they were having an affair. We’ve addressed this topic a while back and it seems to be […]

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when there is a child as a result of an affair

When There is a Child as a Result of an Affair

There is a very delicate topic that we have yet to address here on the blog. I’m not really sure why as the subject comes up occasionally and we get emails periodically about it. And the subject is… What do you do when there is a child as a result of an affair? How do […]

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