By Sarah P. Abandonment causes deep shame. Abandonment by betrayal is worse than mindless neglect. Betrayal is purposeful and self-serving. If severe enough, it is traumatic.” Patrick J. Carnes, PhD (1) The other day when I was looking for studies in psychology databases, I saw an abstract that caught my eye. The abstract basically said […]
The Nuts and Bolts of Affair Recovery – The elements that need to be present in order to heal from an affair.
What are the basic elements that need to work together to help you heal from the affair? By Sarah P. This article is about some of the ‘must-haves’ that need to occur during the healing from infidelity. Conversely, there are other actions and processes that are more nuanced that need to occur, but this article […]
By Sarah P. This is Sarah’s second installment of her series on the leverage a betrayed spouse has after infidelity. This post will address the leverage men have when their wives have been unfaithful. (To read the first part of the two part series, you can click here.) Most of the articles on this […]
by Sarah P. Note: This is the first installment of a two-part series where Sarah P. will address the leverage one has when their spouse won’t leave their affair partner. This week she addresses when the husband won’t end the affair and next week she’ll dig into when the wife won’t leave her affair partner. It’s one […]
It’s a couple days after Christmas as we write this and we both feel pretty exhausted. Christmas is always such a whirlwind around our home but this year seemed even more so. Perhaps it’s because we had back-to-back nights where we cooked and entertained for about 20 people – or maybe just that we’re getting […]
How about a pre-Christmas discussion? Let’s delve into your affair recovery wishlist during the holiday season. The holidays are here and Christmas is just a few days away and we’re sure that many of you trying to get some last minute shopping done and are hoping for some holiday cheer. Yet at the same time […]
Almost four years ago, one of our readers, “blueskyabove” made a comment on a post that we thought was pretty great. We wanted to convert it to a post back then, but forgot about it for some reason. Luckily, we ran across it again the other day and decided to share it now. Better late than never! […]
So what happens to couples that have experienced infidelity? Well, relationship expert and therapist Esther Perel kept in contact with many of her past clients to learn more about the long-term impact of infidelity. We thought that what she discovered was quite interesting and we hope that you do too. In short, she discovered three basic […]
There’s hardly a day that goes by that we don’t receive an email from a betrayed spouse who isn’t frustrated, angry, beaten down, out of control and about to give up. They’re grasping for a way – any way – to help make things better. The reasons are many, but usually their crisis has something to […]
After an affair strikes a relationship it is easy for each partner to lose their self-respect. In this post, we’d like to use self-respect in the context of a person being able to hold himself/herself in esteem and believing that they are good and worthy of being treated well; having proper respect for oneself and […]
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This short guide tells you what you need to know to survive the affair, heal yourself and emerge on the other side a stronger person.
- It’s Tough To Stop an Emotional Affair March 15, 2011
- When the Other Woman Becomes the Wife September 6, 2012
- Real Reasons the Emotional Affair Happened February 2, 2012
- How Does A Betrayed Spouse Heal from Cheating? July 5, 2013
- Open House Discussion August 28, 2013
- Discussion: Why Do Men and Women Cheat? October 5, 2011
- How It All Started December 18, 2009
- Lessons Learned from the Other Woman in an Emotional Affair December 5, 2014
- Does the Other Woman Play A Role In an Affair or Does the Blame Land Solely on the Cheating Husbands? YOU Decide July 19, 2016
- When Affairs Are Deadly: Suicide and Grieving July 12, 2016
- ‘Open Mic’ Discussion #24 June 28, 2016
- Make This D-Day Your Last – What Works in Rebuilding a Marriage after Infidelity June 21, 2016
- The Four M’s: Why Cheaters Cannot Leave Their Affair Partners June 14, 2016
- Boundaries After the Affair – How to Use Physical, Geographical, and Emotional Boundaries to Move Forward June 7, 2016
- When You Decide to Stay: Dealing with triggers and the issue of trust while rebuilding your marriage. May 31, 2016
- Trauma Bonding: Why It’s So Hard to Let Go After an Affair May 24, 2016
- Josie: Thank you, your posts help a lot. Update: since ...
- Sarah P.: Hi Mary, I agree with TFW that this sounds like a...
- Bor: Sarah, It has been a struggle for me. After she wa...
- TheFirstWife: Hi Mary, I am so sorry. What should be a happy ...
- TDP: I blame both, because both my CS and the OW knew h...
- TryingHard: I don't believe Em is a typical OW. I don't thin...
- Mary: I honestly think my husband thought it could just ...
- Mary: I believe some day I can forgive them both, but no...
- Affair Signs
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- Dealing with Infidelity
- Emotional Affairs
- Ending an Affair
- Forgiving Infidelity
- Healing From Infidelity
- Marriage Building
- Our Emotional Affair Story
- Preventing Infidelity
- Save Your Marriage
- Self Help
- Sex and Marriage
- Surviving an Affair