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Advice for Betrayed Spouses – What to Do and What Not to Do

We came across the following piece of advice somewhere online. Neither one of us can remember exactly where, though it has the distinct feel of the Marriage Builders forum. In general, it offers sound advice for betrayed spouses to follow after affair discovery. As with any advice piece, it may not apply in its entirety […]

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Post Rerun – Stupid Things I Did After the Emotional Affair

For the next couple of weeks both Linda and I will be extremely busy.  I’ve got a huge event going on for work that will demand a ton of my time, while Linda is dealing with her mother who was just diagnosed with possible kidney cancer.  (It was detected early so we’re pretty sure she […]

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common misconceptions about infidelity

The 9 Most Common Misconceptions about Infidelity

As a psychiatrist in the Brown University faculty, Scott Haltzman, MD has been researching men, women, marriage and relationships for more than a decade. In that time, he’s learned a lot about infidelity.  One thing he has realized is that when people find out about infidelity, they often make all kinds of assumptions about how and […]

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Should you tell your partner if you're having an affair?

Should You Tell Your Partner if You’re Having an Affair?

We received an email this past week that included a video recording of a Google Hangout session where there was a panel discussion of sorts about the pros and cons of whether one should tell their partner if they were having an affair. We’ve addressed this topic a while back and it seems to be […]

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when there is a child as a result of an affair

When There is a Child as a Result of an Affair

There is a very delicate topic that we have yet to address here on the blog. I’m not really sure why as the subject comes up occasionally and we get emails periodically about it. And the subject is… What do you do when there is a child as a result of an affair? How do […]

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An Affair is a Major Life Changing Event Like No Other

The following post is adapted from a discussion that took place about four years ago.  I think you’ll find it meaningful. We’ve received several emails over the last few days where people have explained in great details the awful pain, shock and awe that they experienced upon discovering their partner’s affair.  These made me think […]

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After an Emotional Affair

What Transparency Can (and Can’t) Do After an Emotional Affair

If you’ve been looking for and reading ways to rebuild trust after infidelity, you may have come upon the term: “transparency.” Our frequent advice to couples trying to repair the destruction wreaked by an affair is to create agreements to be transparent with one another. This is especially helpful for the one who cheated to […]

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affair survivors

6 Comment Gems from Affair Survivors

We truly believe that some of the best stuff on this site comes from you the readers. As of the very moment I type this sentence, there have been 22,105 comments made by you all. We thought it would be a good idea to pick out a few made by some affair survivors that we […]

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Marriage Crisis Management – The Ultimate Guide to Surviving the First Few Weeks After D-day

Last week I mentioned that it’s been five years since our D-day.  I think it’s safe to say that most of you are probably not quite that far along.  In fact, many of you just experienced your D-day.  This article is for you guys. I wish that I could tell you everything that you need […]

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Lunch With a Cheater

Today we have a great piece taken from a thread in the Higher Healing Forum that we’d like to share.  One of the blog’s active contributors recently had lunch with a friend who also happened to be a cheater.  She feels as though she gained some valuable insight from her lunch with a cheater.  You […]

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