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after an affair is discovered

The Five Phases a Cheater Goes Through After an Affair is Discovered

After an affair is discovered, in most cases a metamorphosis begins for the unfaithful spouse.  Up until that time he/she may have been carrying on as if nothing was going on.  They were stealthy in their ways and they thought they would never get caught. Then it happens. The affair is discovered.  It could have […]

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affair recovery specialist

Finding an Affair Recovery Specialist

Affair Counseling – A Specialized Focus by Tim Tedder, LMHC, NCC  Imagine a man with high blood pressure being hit by a truck while crossing a street. He smashes to the pavement, broken and bloodied, and a nearby doctor rushes to his aid. The doctor quickly assesses the situation and then exclaims, “Man, you’re in […]

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betrayal makes you feel worthless

Why Betrayal Makes You Feel Worthless

The other day we received an email from a woman who has been betrayed by her husband of 27 years. His affair was both an EA and PA and not surprisingly it has torn her world apart. Though they’ve been able to “work things out,” the aftereffects of the affair still linger – some minor […]

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survive and thrive after infidelity

Survive and Thrive after Infidelity

We’ve had this blog now for almost five years, and over that period of time we’ve had the honor of communicating with thousands of people who have been affected in some way by infidelity. It just so happens that about 85% of the time it has been with those whose spouse has been unfaithful. In […]

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you must stop being the victim

You Must Stop Being the Victim

We’ve used the word victim a lot on this site; typically with respect to the person who has been betrayed by their partner’s infidelity. We use the term because the betrayed is indeed a victim. If you question that for any reason, then here is the official dictionary definition of victim: a person who suffers […]

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coping with infidelity

Coping with Infidelity – Self-Care and Living for Yourself

A few months ago I was mentoring a younger woman (younger than me at least) and she had recently discovered her husband’s 2-year long physical and emotional affair. Needless to say she was not in a good place at the time. As she told her story it became apparent that the affair was becoming extremely […]

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surviving an affair

Surviving an Affair Requires Effective Communication and ACTION

We’ve certainly discussed the fact that surviving an affair requires communication – effective communication, that is,  So today we wanted to give you some additional Do’s and Don’ts for improving communication, as well as introduce you to the ACTION formula. Marriage and Family Therapist, Jeff Murrah LPC, LMFT, LCDC delivered these nuggets during a webinar we […]

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Advice for Betrayed Spouses – What to Do and What Not to Do

We came across the following piece of advice somewhere online. Neither one of us can remember exactly where, though it has the distinct feel of the Marriage Builders forum. In general, it offers sound advice for betrayed spouses to follow after affair discovery. As with any advice piece, it may not apply in its entirety […]

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talking about the emotional affair

Post Rerun – Stupid Things I Did After the Emotional Affair

For the next couple of weeks both Linda and I will be extremely busy.  I’ve got a huge event going on for work that will demand a ton of my time, while Linda is dealing with her mother who was just diagnosed with possible kidney cancer.  (It was detected early so we’re pretty sure she […]

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A Little Journey Towards Affair Recovery and Healing

I can remember it like it was yesterday… It was just after 2:00 in the morning and I couldn’t sleep. Something Doug said earlier that evening just didn’t sit right with me. He’d also been acting quite strange lately. I had a gnawing feeling in my gut that something just wasn’t right. I quietly slipped […]

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