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why men stay after an affair

Dave Carder on Why Men Stay After an Affair

Last Thursday I wrote a post about how I still felt the pain from the thoughts of why Doug really decided to stay in our marriage.  Today I wanted to follow up on that a bit and share with you some wonderful information from one of our favorite authors, Dave Carder.  Dave is the author […]

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forgiving infidelity

Four Approaches to Forgiving Infidelity

Forgiving infidelity is a another difficult part of the affair recovery process.  In the book “How Can I Forgive You?” by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D. the author describes four different approaches to forgiveness:  Cheap Forgiveness, Refusing to Forgive, Acceptance and Genuine Forgiveness.  While the second two are more flexible in nature, according to the author, […]

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Forgiving Infidelity and Making a Commitment

Some of the best information that exists on this site comes from the readers through the comments that they make.  I was doing some research yesterday for my book I want to write, and re-read a series of comments related to forgiving infidelity.  I thought what this one reader said was wonderful, and thought it […]

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forgiving the emotional affair

My Process for Forgiving the Emotional Affair

Linda shares her process for forgiving Doug after his affair. Recently,  Doug and I recorded a session for the Affair Recovery Group where we wrapped up the topic of forgiveness after the affair by sharing some of our own experiences and opinions with respect to this very important topic. A question came up where I […]

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Our Own Emotional Affair

Lately I have been putting much thought into my long journey to forgiveness after Doug’s emotional affair, and trying to figure out why it was so difficult to reach.  As a result, I began reconstructing our affair recovery and analyzing each step. It is ironic how I can now remember the details and the activities […]

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3 Reasons To Not Forgive Too Early After the Affair

Forgiveness after the affair is essential to the healing process for both the betrayed spouse and the cheating spouse.  However, it is also just as essential that you do not forgive too soon.  It took me well over a year after Doug’s emotional affair to completely forgive him. Here are three reasons why you shouldn’t […]

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anger after the affair

Managing Your Anger After the Affair

Last week many of you were kind enough to clue us in on some of the issues that you are still struggling with after the affair.  I think that many of the issues we have touched on in past posts, but deserve a little more attention.  Today we want to address how to deal with […]

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couple crisis

Don’t Let the Cheater’s Story Become Your Story

We’ve talked a lot recently about the fantasies that are inherent before, during and after the affair.  Today I want to concentrate on how the fantasy affected the way I dealt with the information Doug gave me during his emotional affair. Basically, I made mistakes as to how I reacted, causing our recovery from an […]

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after the emotional affair

After the Emotional Affair: The Security I Needed

I had discussed my last therapy session in a previous post and during that session the therapist and I also explored the implications of taking fault for the affair. He really helped me realize that I shouldn’t blame myself for Doug’s emotional affair, and by doing so for so long has definitely caused many problems […]

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forgiving infidelity

Emotional Affair Recovery and Forgiving Infidelity

Someone asked me yesterday if I have forgiven the other person (Tanya), and whether or not I have forgiven Doug.  Being asked about forgiving infidelity, specifically about forgiving Tanya, made me sit back and think for a little bit.  I began to wonder if that was something I should do as part of my emotional […]

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