By Sarah P. The things that people say and do during affairs are so predictable that it is almost funny. Unfortunately, broken trust, destroyed lives, and broken families are no laughing matter. Still, there are patterns that all affairs follow; there are universal actions on the part of the wayward spouse; and there are the […]
By Sarah P. “The truth will set you free, but not until it’s had its way with you.” –David Foster Wallace This piece is about recovering alone from infidelity and why it is not just plausible – it is possible. This post also contains more of ‘my truth’ about my relationship with my ex as I […]
By Sarah P. Empathy is the most mysterious transaction that the human soul can have, and it’s accessible to all of us, but we have to give ourselves the opportunity to identify, to plunge ourselves in a story where we see the world from the bottom up or through another’s eyes or heart.” – Sue Monk […]
When You Decide to Stay: Dealing with triggers and the issue of trust while rebuilding your marriage.
Sarah P. About 15 years ago, I was interviewing for a contract position at a tech company. The hiring manager wanted an informal interview, so he and I went and had lunch at the company cafeteria. He didn’t have a filter and the conversation went like this: “You know, trust is a really […]
A good portion of my time for this website is devoted to mentoring people who are struggling with infidelity in some way. And 99% of that mentoring time is spent with betrayed spouses (usually female), and the vast majority of those betrayed spouses are desperately trying to figure out what the hell is running through […]
We came across the following piece of advice somewhere online. Neither one of us can remember exactly where, though it has the distinct feel of the Marriage Builders forum. In general, it offers sound advice for betrayed spouses to follow after affair discovery. As with any advice piece, it may not apply in its entirety […]
Affair partners barely know one another at first and then just a short while later, they’re making plans for moving in together. (A version of this post ran back in December of 2010.) I have learned so much from the contributions of the cheating spouses on this site because they have provided insight about their […]
We wanted to thank everyone who took the time to respond to our most recent survey. There are always some interesting takeaways (interpretations) when we do these things and this one didn’t disappoint. We’re not going to address every question, but will touch on the ones we thought you’d be most interested in. Even so, […]
Today we have one of our older posts from nearly 3 years ago on the subject of doing a “180” to help save your marriage and/or get your spouse to end the affair. There isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t get at least one email from a betrayed spouse who is having […]
Much of what is written on the subject of how to stop an affair seems to be along the lines that one cannot effectively do so. That is, the betrayed is basically left powerless when it comes to making the cheating spouse end their affair. This post will take the other side of the argument […]
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This short guide tells you what you need to know to survive the affair, heal yourself and emerge on the other side a stronger person.
- It’s Tough To Stop an Emotional Affair March 15, 2011
- When the Other Woman Becomes the Wife September 6, 2012
- Real Reasons the Emotional Affair Happened February 2, 2012
- Staying After Cheating: Is It the Right Thing to Do? October 11, 2016
- How Does A Betrayed Spouse Heal from Cheating? July 5, 2013
- Open House Discussion August 28, 2013
- Does the Other Woman Play A Role In an Affair or Does the Blame Land Solely on the Cheating Husbands? YOU Decide July 19, 2016
- Discussion: Why Do Men and Women Cheat? October 5, 2011
- Musings on Infidelity: Affairs Are Not Original and Not Excusable March 28, 2017
- Struggling to Heal? You Have to Reach! March 21, 2017
- The Last of the Four Horsemen: Stonewalling March 14, 2017
- You Decide: Is it an emotional affair or not? March 7, 2017
- John Gottman’s Four Horsemen: Defensiveness February 28, 2017
- Coping with the Pain of Infidelity February 21, 2017
- Discussion: What Stage of the Affair Recovery Process are You In at Present? February 14, 2017
- Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Part 2: Contempt February 7, 2017
- Tired: I just re read this article. It is so spot on. My ...
- Tired: Also Puzzled, that blank and angry stare. I have s...
- Tired: Puzzled. I think we will go to counselling. Perhap...
- Shifting Impressions: Puzzled I love that fishbowl idea........I think ...
- Puzzled: Keeping her from becoming defensive is the challen...
- Hopefull: Puzzled, These conversations are so hard. My husba...
- Robert M.: So I haven't mentioned anything about the affair ...
- Doug: That's good to hear Broken2! Though it sucks bad ...
- Affair Signs
- After the Affair
- Catch a Cheating Spouse
- Dealing with Infidelity
- Emotional Affairs
- Ending an Affair
- Forgiving Infidelity
- Healing From Infidelity
- Marriage Building
- Our Emotional Affair Story
- Preventing Infidelity
- Save Your Marriage
- Self Help
- Sex and Marriage
- Surviving an Affair