By Sarah P. “The truth will set you free, but not until it’s had its way with you.” –David Foster Wallace This piece is about recovering alone from infidelity and why it is not just plausible – it is possible. This post also contains more of ‘my truth’ about my relationship with my ex as I […]
By Sarah P. Empathy is the most mysterious transaction that the human soul can have, and it’s accessible to all of us, but we have to give ourselves the opportunity to identify, to plunge ourselves in a story where we see the world from the bottom up or through another’s eyes or heart.” – Sue Monk […]
When You Decide to Stay: Dealing with triggers and the issue of trust while rebuilding your marriage.
Sarah P. About 15 years ago, I was interviewing for a contract position at a tech company. The hiring manager wanted an informal interview, so he and I went and had lunch at the company cafeteria. He didn’t have a filter and the conversation went like this: “You know, trust is a really […]
A good portion of my time for this website is devoted to mentoring people who are struggling with infidelity in some way. And 99% of that mentoring time is spent with betrayed spouses (usually female), and the vast majority of those betrayed spouses are desperately trying to figure out what the hell is running through […]
We came across the following piece of advice somewhere online. Neither one of us can remember exactly where, though it has the distinct feel of the Marriage Builders forum. In general, it offers sound advice for betrayed spouses to follow after affair discovery. As with any advice piece, it may not apply in its entirety […]
Affair partners barely know one another at first and then just a short while later, they’re making plans for moving in together. (A version of this post ran back in December of 2010.) I have learned so much from the contributions of the cheating spouses on this site because they have provided insight about their […]
We wanted to thank everyone who took the time to respond to our most recent survey. There are always some interesting takeaways (interpretations) when we do these things and this one didn’t disappoint. We’re not going to address every question, but will touch on the ones we thought you’d be most interested in. Even so, […]
Today we have one of our older posts from nearly 3 years ago on the subject of doing a “180” to help save your marriage and/or get your spouse to end the affair. There isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t get at least one email from a betrayed spouse who is having […]
Much of what is written on the subject of how to stop an affair seems to be along the lines that one cannot effectively do so. That is, the betrayed is basically left powerless when it comes to making the cheating spouse end their affair. This post will take the other side of the argument […]
Many times affairs start and continue because the cheater feels that this person that he/she is infatuated with is better or more desirable than his/her spouse. In my opinion, this aspect relates a lot to the whole fantasy aspect of an affair. Let’s face it. An affair is make believe. What I mean by that […]
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This short guide tells you what you need to know to survive the affair, heal yourself and emerge on the other side a stronger person.
- It’s Tough To Stop an Emotional Affair March 15, 2011
- When the Other Woman Becomes the Wife September 6, 2012
- Real Reasons the Emotional Affair Happened February 2, 2012
- How Does A Betrayed Spouse Heal from Cheating? July 5, 2013
- Open House Discussion August 28, 2013
- Does the Other Woman Play A Role In an Affair or Does the Blame Land Solely on the Cheating Husbands? YOU Decide July 19, 2016
- Discussion: Why Do Men and Women Cheat? October 5, 2011
- How It All Started December 18, 2009
- Silent Infidelity: How Porn Addiction Affects Your Marriage October 25, 2016
- Our Hike in the Forest – A Metaphor for Our Affair Recovery Journey October 18, 2016
- Staying After Cheating: Is It the Right Thing to Do? October 11, 2016
- Our Affair Recovery – Two Subtle Shifts That Made a Difference October 4, 2016
- The Perfect Spouse: How Unethical Amnesia Might Affect Getting the Truth September 27, 2016
- Save Yourself: You Can Recover From Infidelity Even If Your Partner Is Not an Active Participant September 20, 2016
- Open ‘Mic’ Discussion #25 September 13, 2016
- At the Heart of Attachment: How to Use Empathy to Communicate Effectively For On-Going Recovery September 6, 2016
- Hopeful: Sarah, I think it is seen as "normal" among t...
- Sarah P.: Hi Hopeful, I am so glad that he is being more op...
- TryingHard: Hopeful-- I couldn't agree with you more. The NY...
- Hopeful: This is a continued topic of discussion for our ma...
- Hopeful: I find it interesting all of our conversations her...
- Hopeful: Thinking of you Sara! This takes so much courage a...
- TryingHard: Sara-- I am sending you big cyberhugs and courage....
- Sara: Sarah, Thank you so much for the compassionate adv...
- Affair Signs
- After the Affair
- Catch a Cheating Spouse
- Dealing with Infidelity
- Emotional Affairs
- Ending an Affair
- Forgiving Infidelity
- Healing From Infidelity
- Marriage Building
- Our Emotional Affair Story
- Preventing Infidelity
- Save Your Marriage
- Self Help
- Sex and Marriage
- Surviving an Affair