By Sarah P. “The truth will set you free, but not until it’s had its way with you.” –David Foster Wallace This piece is about recovering alone from infidelity and why it is not just plausible – it is possible. This post also contains more of ‘my truth’ about my relationship with my ex as I […]
By Sarah P. Empathy is the most mysterious transaction that the human soul can have, and it’s accessible to all of us, but we have to give ourselves the opportunity to identify, to plunge ourselves in a story where we see the world from the bottom up or through another’s eyes or heart.” – Sue Monk […]
When You Decide to Stay: Dealing with triggers and the issue of trust while rebuilding your marriage.
Sarah P. About 15 years ago, I was interviewing for a contract position at a tech company. The hiring manager wanted an informal interview, so he and I went and had lunch at the company cafeteria. He didn’t have a filter and the conversation went like this: “You know, trust is a really […]
A good portion of my time for this website is devoted to mentoring people who are struggling with infidelity in some way. And 99% of that mentoring time is spent with betrayed spouses (usually female), and the vast majority of those betrayed spouses are desperately trying to figure out what the hell is running through […]
We came across the following piece of advice somewhere online. Neither one of us can remember exactly where, though it has the distinct feel of the Marriage Builders forum. In general, it offers sound advice for betrayed spouses to follow after affair discovery. As with any advice piece, it may not apply in its entirety […]
Affair partners barely know one another at first and then just a short while later, they’re making plans for moving in together. (A version of this post ran back in December of 2010.) I have learned so much from the contributions of the cheating spouses on this site because they have provided insight about their […]
We wanted to thank everyone who took the time to respond to our most recent survey. There are always some interesting takeaways (interpretations) when we do these things and this one didn’t disappoint. We’re not going to address every question, but will touch on the ones we thought you’d be most interested in. Even so, […]
Today we have one of our older posts from nearly 3 years ago on the subject of doing a “180” to help save your marriage and/or get your spouse to end the affair. There isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t get at least one email from a betrayed spouse who is having […]
Much of what is written on the subject of how to stop an affair seems to be along the lines that one cannot effectively do so. That is, the betrayed is basically left powerless when it comes to making the cheating spouse end their affair. This post will take the other side of the argument […]
Many times affairs start and continue because the cheater feels that this person that he/she is infatuated with is better or more desirable than his/her spouse. In my opinion, this aspect relates a lot to the whole fantasy aspect of an affair. Let’s face it. An affair is make believe. What I mean by that […]
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This short guide tells you what you need to know to survive the affair, heal yourself and emerge on the other side a stronger person.
- It’s Tough To Stop an Emotional Affair March 15, 2011
- When the Other Woman Becomes the Wife September 6, 2012
- Real Reasons the Emotional Affair Happened February 2, 2012
- Staying After Cheating: Is It the Right Thing to Do? October 11, 2016
- How Does A Betrayed Spouse Heal from Cheating? July 5, 2013
- Open House Discussion August 28, 2013
- Does the Other Woman Play A Role In an Affair or Does the Blame Land Solely on the Cheating Husbands? YOU Decide July 19, 2016
- Discussion: Why Do Men and Women Cheat? October 5, 2011
- Open ‘Mic’ Discussion #26 January 17, 2017
- The Ache of Affairs and What You Can Do About It January 10, 2017
- New Year’s Resolutions for Affair Recovery January 3, 2017
- Change Within Before You Can Change Without December 28, 2016
- Merry Christmas! December 25, 2016
- Discussion: Your Affair Recovery Wishlist for the Holidays December 20, 2016
- You Have the Power – Staying Empowered Through the Holidays and Beyond December 13, 2016
- Cheaters Can Be Masters at Emotional Manipulation December 6, 2016
- blueskyabove: * The FirstWife and Shifting Impressions, Bravo...
- TheFirstWife: I actually spent the last 6 months going over the ...
- Sarah P.: Hi TryingHard, Thanks again for sharing what yo...
- Butterball: Our problem is a bit of the opposite at the moment...
- Shifting Impressions: TFW That is interesting that you posted that....m...
- TryingHard: Hi Butterball--I thought maybe it was a cultural t...
- TheFirstWife: Here is what is working for me. .For 2017 I have d...
- HOLMES: Sarah, I did want to say a great article. All wome...
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