Tag Archives | affair fog
Recovering Alone from Infidelity

Save Yourself: You Can Recover From Infidelity Even If Your Partner Is Not an Active Participant

By Sarah P. “The truth will set you free, but not until it’s had its way with you.” –David Foster Wallace This piece is about recovering alone from infidelity and why it is not just plausible – it is possible. This post also contains more of ‘my truth’ about my relationship with my ex as I […]

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How to Use Empathy to Communicate Effectively

At the Heart of Attachment: How to Use Empathy to Communicate Effectively For On-Going Recovery

By Sarah P. Empathy is the most mysterious transaction that the human soul can have, and it’s accessible to all of us, but we have to give ourselves the opportunity to identify, to plunge ourselves in a story where we see the world from the bottom up or through another’s eyes or heart.”  – Sue Monk […]

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rebuilding your marraige

When You Decide to Stay: Dealing with triggers and the issue of trust while rebuilding your marriage.

Sarah P.     About 15 years ago, I was interviewing for a contract position at a tech company. The hiring manager wanted an informal interview, so he and I went and had lunch at the company cafeteria. He didn’t have a filter and the conversation went like this: “You know, trust is a really […]

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the affair fog

How to Get the Cheater Out of the Affair Fog

A good portion of my time for this website is devoted to mentoring people who are struggling with infidelity in some way.  And 99% of that mentoring time is spent with betrayed spouses (usually female), and the vast majority of those betrayed spouses are desperately trying to figure out what the hell is running through […]

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what to do not do

Advice for Betrayed Spouses – What to Do and What Not to Do

We came across the following piece of advice somewhere online. Neither one of us can remember exactly where, though it has the distinct feel of the Marriage Builders forum. In general, it offers sound advice for betrayed spouses to follow after affair discovery. As with any advice piece, it may not apply in its entirety […]

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extramarital affair

It Doesn’t Take Long for an Extramarital Affair to Get Serious

 Affair partners barely know one another at first and then just a short while later, they’re making plans for moving in together. (A version of this post ran back in December of 2010.) I have learned so much from the contributions of the cheating spouses on this site because they have provided insight about their […]

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emotional affair journey survey

The Results from the Emotional Affair Journey Reader Survey

We wanted to thank everyone who took the time to respond to our most recent survey.  There are always some interesting takeaways (interpretations) when we do these things and this one didn’t disappoint. We’re not going to address every question, but will touch on the ones we thought you’d be most interested in. Even so, […]

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Save Your Marriage with a 180

Today we have one of our older posts from nearly 3 years ago on the subject of doing a “180” to help save your marriage and/or get your spouse to end the affair. There isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t get at least one email from a betrayed spouse who is having […]

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how to stop an affair

Real Life Hardnosed Advice on How to Stop an Affair

Much of what is written on the subject of how to stop an affair seems to be along the lines that one cannot effectively do so.  That is, the betrayed is basically left powerless when it comes to making the cheating spouse end their affair. This post will take the other side of the argument […]

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the grass was greener during the affair

Stop Thinking the Grass is Greener Somewhere Else

Many times affairs start and continue because the cheater feels that this person that he/she is infatuated with is better or more desirable than his/her spouse.  In my opinion, this aspect relates a lot to the whole fantasy aspect of an affair.  Let’s face it.  An affair is make believe.  What I mean by that […]

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