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false reconciliation

False Reconciliation – Perhaps More Devastating than D-day

There’s a devastating situation that we run into quite frequently when talking with other couples. In fact, some consider it even more devastating than the initial affair discovery. OK, here’s the scenario (based on a true case story, btw)…You’ve discovered the affair and your spouse almost immediately breaks down and begs for forgiveness and promises […]

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Advice for Betrayed Spouses – What to Do and What Not to Do

We came across the following piece of advice somewhere online. Neither one of us can remember exactly where, though it has the distinct feel of the Marriage Builders forum. In general, it offers sound advice for betrayed spouses to follow after affair discovery. As with any advice piece, it may not apply in its entirety […]

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couples counseling

4 Reasons Why Couples Counseling is Not a Good Idea if the Affair Has Not Ended

There is a question that comes up often from betrayed spouses after discovering an affair and that is, “Should I go to therapy with my partner if he (she) hasn’t ended his (her) affair yet?” In our opinion, the short answer is no. There are many different aspects of what makes for good therapy and […]

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Case Study: What To Do When the Other Woman Refuses to Leave Your Marriage Alone

by Sarah P. Take A Queue From Anne Wojcicki While Keeping Your Head Held High  The couple, who is currently living separately, have two young children. They have been pegged as Generation X’s answer to Bill and Melinda Gates. If you read my other post about when men do stupid things, you’ll remember that Anne […]

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Self Talk – The Excitement of the Affair vs Marriage Reality

One aspect of recovering from an affair that is difficult to overcome is the conversation about the affair that you have with yourself.  It’s the ever constant and overwhelming discussions that occur in your head.  I know that I talk to myself all the time.  We all do.  Fortunately, these days what I say is […]

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narcissistic personality disorder

The Narcissistic Mother-in-law – Part 2

This is the second part of Sarah P’s three-part series on Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and the narcissistic mother-in-law.  In this post, Sarah delves into the definition and management side of NPD while tying it together with her example from her first post. ‘Narcissism’ has become a catch-all term that includes selfishness, self-centeredness, greed, and […]

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Extramarital Affairs: What to Do When Smart Men Do Stoopid Stuff

By Sarah P. Senator Weiner, Bill Clinton, John F. Kennedy, Sergey Brin… They all have one thing in common. All of these otherwise “smart” men have done really stupid things when it comes to fidelity. When I started to date, my dad would tell me jokingly, “Be careful! Men are just like dinosaurs you know. […]

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heal the relationship

Reader Attempting to Heal the Relationship Alone

Here is an email exchange between myself and a reader who is trying to heal the relationship by himself.  We thought it might provide you with some beneficial information.  Please feel free to add your own thoughts or advice in the comment section below the post. A reader writes: Wondered if you can help me? […]

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affair fantasy

The Affair Fantasy Post Roundup

We’re going to do something a little different today.  We’re calling it a “Fantasy Post Roundup.”  Affair fantasy that is. Every affair begins in some way as a fantasy.  They also continue to drag on and become hard to end due to the fantasy. Lynn Margolies, Ph.D. says… “The most common element driving the power […]

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Quick Survey Question

This morning I had an idea and I need your help.  Please take a minute or two to answer this one question survey.  Thanks! Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world’s leading questionnaire tool.

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