While perusing the web the other day, I found this great podcast by Dr. Lee Baucom. Dr. Baucom is a trained therapist, life coach and the creator of the very popular program called “Save the Marriage”.
In this audio recording that lasts just over 40 minutes, Lee talks directly to the unfaithful spouse as to what he/she needs to do to recover from their infidelity – about how to save a marriage after an affair. Most unfaithful spouses could use a little direction about this, for certain.
Dr. Baucom pulls no punches and certainly speaks his mind in this audio. It’s certainly straight talk about how to rebuild a marriage after an affair. What the unfaithful needs to change, how they need to act, what they need to do, etc.
So, You Had An Affair: How To Recover
Notes from the podcast:
4:28 – Affairs come from disconnected marriages.
5:22 – 2 primary types of affairs: 1.) Those based in addiction 2.) Those from a disconnected relationship. Explanation and examples of each.
11:20 – Type 2 affairs are based on disconnection in the relationship combined with lack of boundaries.
12:37 – Descriptions and examples of proper boundaries.
14:15 – Adrenaline connection (infatuation phase) at beginning of relationships is often mistaken for true love and is highly addictive.
16:59 – Why affairs tend to fall apart and what drives the intensity of the affair.
18:56 – Justifications for affairs and misaligned comparisons that get people stuck on affairs.
23:15 – How to break that addictive feel – especially when you don’t want to.
24:53 – To tell or not to tell? Questions to ask yourself to determine your motivation and desired outcome.
29:11 – Raising your personal standards.
31:00 – Setting the boundaries that protect your relationship and your commitment to the marriage.
33:42 – Becoming transparent to your spouse. Trust is a gift.
37:37 – Create the reconnection with your spouse. Finding a place for accountability.
Resources Mentioned in this Session Include…
Previous audio – for the person who suffered the affair. (Right Click to download the mp3 file – or listen below)