One topic that we haven’t really touched on yet, and to some folks is somewhat controversial, is whether or not you should give in to spying in order to catch a cheating spouse.
Many victims notice unusual behaviors and emotions from their spouses, but yet have no proof of there actually being any infidelity.
Entire books have been written on this subject, so this post will just attempt to be a general overview and offer some ideas and resources for you to consider.
And let us mention that our stance is pro-marriage, so if you want to save your marriage, there are ways to do that. But there are always circumstances that for whatever reason, you need or want to know for sure whether or not your spouse is cheating. We won’t get into those reasons, as only you will know for sure if spying is something that you feel compelled to do.
One school of thought is that when you suspect your partner is cheating on you, you need to resist your first instinct to confront your partner and accuse them. While this may seem like the most logical thing to do, you have to resist this strong instinct and think carefully and strategically. If you expose your suspicions immediately, what sort of response do you hope to get? Is it likely to bring you closer to the proof, or jeopardize your chances of knowing for sure what is really happening?
Perhaps you’ve done the normal armchair investigations into your spouse’s cell phone, texts, online accounts, or have noticed other unusual things in the way they are acting that raises your suspicions. However, no solid proof has emerged.
If you don’t have any proof, or your proof is just circumstantial, the most likely response you will get is denial. If you can’t prove without a doubt that you know about their affair, there is little you will be able to do that will refute their denial.
To be honest with you, doing the research for this post was a real eye opener. We had no idea all these products and resources existed. It was very educational to say the least.
One last thing…we wouldn’t recommend you do any spying if you are not prepared to handle what you might find out!
That being said, we offer the following resources to assist you in your efforts:
How to Catch a Cheating Spouse
Signs of Cheating:
- Emotional Affair Signs – Our own blog post on the subject which includes signs Linda saw in Doug
- Book by Ruth Houston–“Is He Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs.” Offered in our library and as an e-book. The e-book comes with a couple of added bonus sections: For men –Is SHE Cheating? And a section with affair recovery advice.
- A gazillion articles on signs of cheating at Ezine articles.
- Other books about the signs of cheating from our Library.
Should you spy?
- A brief free report (13 pages) by Dr. Robert Huizenga entitled “Should I Spy?” discusses the pros and cons of spying to find out the truth.
Catch a Cheating Spouse E-books:
- Comprehensive e-book by Sarah Paul, “How to Catch a Cheating Spouse,” addresses virtually every aspect of cheating along with ways to determine if your spouse may be cheating. Discusses spying methods and equipment. One of the bonuses of purchasing this book is a free download of Sherlock Pro computer monitoring software. We’ve personally reviewed this book and do recommend it.
- “How to Catch Your Cheating Lover” by Edward Talurdey: Similar program to the above. Offers techniques and resources to catch a cheater along with some added bonuses.
Reading Body Language:
- Here’s a brief 3 minute video where a retired FBI agent discusses how to read a person’s body language to tell if they are lying. To watch it click here.
- Video from a body language expert: To view it click here.
- Two books on the subject: “What Every Body is Saying” by Joe Navarro and “Body Language 101” by David Lambert.
- Loads of articles on body Language and Lying on Ezine Articles.
Keylogging software allows for tracking (or logging) the keys struck on a computer keyboard, typically in a covert manner so that the person using the keyboard is unaware that their actions are being monitored.
- CNET offers a Free Keylogger download for you to check out.
- More computer monitoring gadgets and software. More bang, but also more bucks.
- A real polygraph or lie detector machine for home use. Claims to be 80% to 99% accurate.
Other Spy Devices:
- A variety of devices to catch a cheating spouse. This includes products such as GPS tracking devices, cell phone monitoring devices, SIM card readers (for reading deleted texts), mini covert cameras, more computer monitoring devices and even a semen detection kit. Wow!
Phone and Email Searches:
- Google: To find who a phone number belongs to, first try to do a search on Google. Type phone number (cell phones too) in quotations (try both with and without dashes)and hit search. For example, “555-123-4567”
- Reverse Phone Serches: The Phone Detective offers searches for cell phones, landlines and business phone numbers. The service provides access to high-quality data with a high-frequency of matches. Nobody has 100% of numbers, and any claims otherwise simply aren’t true. Not a “phone book” for cell phone numbers. This is a paid service, but can offer you more information than a Google search. A full phone report is $19.90 and a one year Premium Membership is $44.90 and offers unlimited people searches and phone lookups.
- Email Finder: Find nearly anyone’s email. Search by name or email address to find contact information, social networks, and professional listings. It’s a reverse email search to find out who the account is registered to. This is a paid service and a single email report is $14.95, or you can do unlimited searches for $1.95 per month.
Well there it is. To be honest, we could have made this “How to Catch a Cheating Spouse” resource page much longer as there are a ton of resources – both free and for a fee – out there. Perhaps we will add to it in the future.
Hopefully though, what we have put together will not only help you in your spying endeavors, but also help you to determine whether or not it’s something you want to do in the first place.
If you have any other ideas or resources, please let us know by leaving a comment. Good luck!