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finding meaning in the affair

Stirring Things Up – Finding Meaning in the Affair

“It’s time to move on.” “I know I screwed up and I know I won’t do it again.” “Digging up all these past wounds doesn’t do either of us any good.” Have you heard (or said) any – or all – of these phrases in the past? Of course you as the betrayed also want […]

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filling the void caused by infidelity

Filling the Void Caused by Infidelity

I was talking to my father the other day and he mentioned to me that it was the ten year anniversary of my grandpa passing away. I hadn’t remembered that at all, but after hearing that I started to travel down memory lane just a bit to think about my grandparents. One thing that always […]

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facing the pain of infidelity

Facing the Pain of Infidelity

“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” – Kenji Miyazawa The pain of being betrayed by your spouse is a strong feeling that can be difficult to process.  Why? Because the trauma of the betrayal creates within us many emotions, such as fear, confusion, shame, guilt, anger, and resentment. These […]

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after my affair

4 Lessons Learned: 20 Years After My Affair

Reflections on what I’ve learned and what I wish I’d known twenty years ago. by Tim Tedder I remember one particular afternoon in college when, for some reason, I became deeply contemplative during a walk from class to my dorm room. My considerations turned to future expectations, imagining what path my life would take. What […]

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Shifting the Responsibility for Recovery onto the Cheater

My mother had to have a cancerous kidney removed this week, so needless to say we’ve been spending a lot of time at the hospital.  Thankfully, the cancer that was discovered was determined to be fully contained within the kidney, so at 80 years of age, my mother has a pretty clean prognosis going forward.  […]

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the difference between pain and suffering

The Difference Between Pain and Suffering

One thing that is at the core of the healing process and is very crucial to be aware of and to understand is the difference between pain and suffering. It took me awhile to catch on to this myself, but in my experience I’ve learned this to be true: Pain is something that occurs in […]

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“Pardon Our Dust:” How to Move Beyond Emotional Affair Residue

Other people can sense it when they’re with you and your partner. You can see it, hear it and feel it when you are together. There is a subtle (or not so subtle) layer of something between you that wasn’t always there. It’s a distance, a tension, a strained or forced energy…and it’s why you’re […]

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denial after the affair

My Pain – His Second Chance

It’s always nice when we receive emails from readers. And it’s certainly uplifting when we get one from someone who has had success in recovering and healing. We wanted to share this particular one with you as she shares a little about her experience in getting past her hurt and the lessons she learned from […]

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emotional healing after infidelity

Emotional Healing After Infidelity – Becoming Whole with Mindfulness

One of our main goals for this site has always been to help guide people towards emotional healing after infidelity.  The other day, I was listening to an audio recording of a virtual conference on the subject between  host, Dr. Eric Maisel and Dr. Melanie Greenberg.  I wanted to share some of the concepts that […]

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recovering from an affair

Recovering from an Affair and My First Visit with a Therapist

Just over three years ago – and after a couple of years of trying to recover on my own –  I finally decided to go see a therapist.  This post revisits that experience. Not seeing a therapist individually soon after discovering the affair was one of my biggest mistakes. So I highly recommend that you […]

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