By Sarah P. Abandonment causes deep shame. Abandonment by betrayal is worse than mindless neglect. Betrayal is purposeful and self-serving. If severe enough, it is traumatic.” Patrick J. Carnes, PhD (1) The other day when I was looking for studies in psychology databases, I saw an abstract that caught my eye. The abstract basically said […]
The Nuts and Bolts of Affair Recovery – The elements that need to be present in order to heal from an affair.
What are the basic elements that need to work together to help you heal from the affair? By Sarah P. This article is about some of the ‘must-haves’ that need to occur during the healing from infidelity. Conversely, there are other actions and processes that are more nuanced that need to occur, but this article […]
By Sarah P. On a message board, Kaitlyn said, “We had been married 10 years, [had a] couple of kids… and my mother-in-law just tossed that aside when my husband started having an affair with a woman from work. My husband and I are currently working on our relationship, but I still can’t believe […]
Recently a book had been brought to our attention that is authored by Steven Stosny, PhD. It’s called Living & Loving after Betrayal: How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment . The title alone made us think it might be useful for you guys so we were very motivated to check it out further. […]
Almost four years ago, one of our readers, “blueskyabove” made a comment on a post that we thought was pretty great. We wanted to convert it to a post back then, but forgot about it for some reason. Luckily, we ran across it again the other day and decided to share it now. Better late than never! […]
So what happens to couples that have experienced infidelity? Well, relationship expert and therapist Esther Perel kept in contact with many of her past clients to learn more about the long-term impact of infidelity. We thought that what she discovered was quite interesting and we hope that you do too. In short, she discovered three basic […]
We all make mistakes along our affair recovery journeys, but it sure seems as though the unfaithful spouse is the person making the lion’s share of them. I made my share of them for sure and I talk with people all the time who communicate to me the mistakes they and their spouse have made […]
By Savannah Ellis Unfortunately, most people in our culture have the wrong idea about what acceptance means. There are five primary myths that abound. I would like to describe each myth for you, and then tell you why it is a myth. Acceptance Myth #1: Acceptance Can Happen All at Once This is the #1 […]
I realize that it’s very cliché to compare the struggles that go along with affair recovery to climbing a mountain, but after our experience on our vacation we discovered that the comparison to be even more appropriate. While in the White Mountains in New Hampshire we set off on a day-hike called the Franconia Ridge Loop […]
Last Friday was Doug’s annual outing with a bunch of his old high school buddies. It’s when they go golfing, attend a baseball game and hit the bars afterwards. Basically they act about 35 years younger than they all are. Then they go home and recuperate for the rest of the weekend! Anyways, after their […]
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This short guide tells you what you need to know to survive the affair, heal yourself and emerge on the other side a stronger person.
- It’s Tough To Stop an Emotional Affair March 15, 2011
- When the Other Woman Becomes the Wife September 6, 2012
- Real Reasons the Emotional Affair Happened February 2, 2012
- How Does A Betrayed Spouse Heal from Cheating? July 5, 2013
- Open House Discussion August 28, 2013
- Discussion: Why Do Men and Women Cheat? October 5, 2011
- How It All Started December 18, 2009
- Lessons Learned from the Other Woman in an Emotional Affair December 5, 2014
- Make This D-Day Your Last – What Works in Rebuilding a Marriage after Infidelity June 21, 2016
- The Four M’s: Why Cheaters Cannot Leave Their Affair Partners June 14, 2016
- Boundaries After the Affair – How to Use Physical, Geographical, and Emotional Boundaries to Move Forward June 7, 2016
- When You Decide to Stay: Dealing with triggers and the issue of trust while rebuilding your marriage. May 31, 2016
- Trauma Bonding: Why It’s So Hard to Let Go After an Affair May 24, 2016
- A Tale of Two Cheaters: Are You Married to a Reverse Prince Charming or a Fallen Prince Charming? May 17, 2016
- The Nuts and Bolts of Affair Recovery – The elements that need to be present in order to heal from an affair. May 10, 2016
- Mother Knows Best – Don’t let your in-laws prevent you from healing from the affair. May 3, 2016
- Terri: Seems like I may be a few years late to this blog,...
- Sam: He has lost contact with all his friends now, and ...
- Sarah P.: Hello Sam, Do not get involved with the other wom...
- Sarah P.: Hello Theresa, Age is just a number. Really! If y...
- callie: I to am now in my fifty's, my husbands problem wa...
- TheFirstWife: Please do not message the OW. She may not accept w...
- Allison: Bravo Grace! We are now 4 years out and I even for...
- Sam: Thanks - I live in Sheffield (which is in the same...
- Affair Signs
- After the Affair
- Catch a Cheating Spouse
- Dealing with Infidelity
- Emotional Affairs
- Ending an Affair
- Forgiving Infidelity
- Healing From Infidelity
- Marriage Building
- Our Emotional Affair Story
- Preventing Infidelity
- Save Your Marriage
- Self Help
- Sex and Marriage
- Surviving an Affair