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trauma bonding

Trauma Bonding: Why It’s So Hard to Let Go After an Affair

By Sarah P. Abandonment causes deep shame. Abandonment by betrayal is worse than mindless neglect. Betrayal is purposeful and self-serving. If severe enough, it is traumatic.” Patrick J. Carnes, PhD (1) The other day when I was looking for studies in psychology databases, I saw an abstract that caught my eye. The abstract basically said […]

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heal from the affair

The Nuts and Bolts of Affair Recovery – The elements that need to be present in order to heal from an affair.

What are the basic elements that need to work together to help you heal from the affair? By Sarah P.   This article is about some of the ‘must-haves’ that need to occur during the healing from infidelity. Conversely, there are other actions and processes that are more nuanced that need to occur, but this article […]

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Don’t let your in-laws prevent you from healing from the affair

Mother Knows Best – Don’t let your in-laws prevent you from healing from the affair.

  By Sarah P. On a message board, Kaitlyn said, “We had been married 10 years, [had a] couple of kids… and my mother-in-law just tossed that aside when my husband started having an affair with a woman from work. My husband and I are currently working on our relationship, but I still can’t believe […]

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living & loving after betrayal

Steven Stosny, PhD on Living & Loving After Betrayal

Recently a book had been brought to our attention that is authored by Steven Stosny, PhD.  It’s called Living & Loving after Betrayal: How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment .  The title alone made us think it might be useful for you guys so we were very motivated to check it out further. […]

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husband's affair

A Reader Shares Her New Perspective on Her Husband’s Affair

Almost four years ago, one of our readers, “blueskyabove” made a comment on a post that we thought was pretty great.  We wanted to convert it to a post back then, but forgot about it for some reason. Luckily, we ran across it again the other day and decided to share it now.  Better late than never! […]

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What Happens in Couples After Someone Cheats?

What Happens in Couples After Someone Cheats? The Long-Term Impact of Infidelity

So what happens to couples that have experienced infidelity?  Well, relationship expert and therapist Esther Perel kept in contact with many of her past clients to learn more about the long-term impact of infidelity. We thought that what she discovered was quite interesting and we hope that you do too. In short, she discovered three basic […]

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mistakes after infidelity

I Wish I Would Have Known That!

We all make mistakes along our affair recovery journeys, but it sure seems as though the unfaithful spouse is the person making the lion’s share of them.  I made my share of them for sure and I talk with people all the time who communicate to me the mistakes they and their spouse have made […]

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acceptance myths

The Five Myths that Surround Acceptance

By Savannah Ellis Unfortunately, most people in our culture have the wrong idea about what acceptance means. There are five primary myths that abound. I would like to describe each myth for you, and then tell you why it is a myth. Acceptance Myth #1: Acceptance Can Happen All at Once This is the #1 […]

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franconia ridge trail

Mount Infidelity – The Toughest Climb You’ll Ever Do

I realize that it’s very cliché to compare the struggles that go along with affair recovery to climbing a mountain, but after our experience on our vacation we discovered that the comparison to be even more appropriate. While in the White Mountains in New Hampshire we set off on a day-hike called the Franconia Ridge Loop […]

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being vulnerable again after you have been betrayed

Being Vulnerable Again after You Have Been Betrayed

Last Friday was Doug’s annual outing with a bunch of his old high school buddies.  It’s when they go golfing, attend a baseball game and hit the bars afterwards.  Basically they act about 35 years younger than they all are.  Then they go home and recuperate for the rest of the weekend! Anyways, after their […]

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