Infidelity causes intense emotional pain--anger, disbelief, fear, guilt and shame. But an affair doesn't have to mean the end of your marriage.
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Sadly, many (if not most) betrayed spouses blame themselves for their spouse’s affair. I know I did at first. It took me a long time to understand that Doug’s emotional affair was not my fault and that he was solely responsible for his actions. Sure there were mistakes that I had made throughout our marriage [...]
Linda and I had a fun, productive, long weekend together and quite frankly neither one us felt much like putting together a blog post for today. I think we were to the point last night that our mind said one thing, but our bodies said quite another. Frankly, we were both just plain tuckered out [...]
The other day I was cutting the grass and while doing so, was listening to a rock band called Staind on my I-Pod. I love music and I tend to gravitate to the classic, modern and alternative rock genres. In case you don’t know, Staind is a band that performs a mixture of hard rock [...]
We receive many emails from readers, and recently we received one that really struck a chord with us. This reader shares her touching story of immense pain as the result of infidelity, as well as her hopeful view of the future and her decision to seek happiness and love no matter what. I personally was [...]
People often ask me, “Linda, when you were going through this difficulty of rebuilding trust after an affair, how long did it take you?” The answer is that it was a long time. It’s difficult to give you an idea of how long to expect. Six months out, twelve months out, eighteen months out? [...]
The subject came up the other day from one of our readers about midlife crisis and infidelity. His question specifically asked about statistics on marriage recovery from midlife crisis and whether methods addressed on this blog help with recovery from midlife crisis complicated by an affair. I felt it was an excellent topic and one [...]
One of the hardest things to deal with while recovering from infidelity are the affair triggers that the betrayed encounter on a regular basis. They can be anything from passing a certain hotel or restaurant, hearing a particular song on the radio, hearing your spouse say certain words, etc. I’ve come to the conclusion [...]
I thought I would share my insight about our long weekend and how it affected me. This may sound strange or cruel, but honestly it really didn’t surprise me. The reason being that I knew this was exactly how it would be. There was no shock. It followed the same scenario that I had [...]
I had a great Mother’s day…well, at least for the first four hours or so, and then it went downhill from there. As usual, Doug and the kids made my day special, but they were no match for what awaited me when we went to my parent’s home for dinner. My brother and his [...]
When trying to make it through each day after the affair, a main culprit that gets in the way is the plague of negative thoughts. The key is being able to control these thoughts. When trying to control my own thoughts after Doug’s emotional affair, I implemented a process I learned from Dr. Gunzburg’s [...]
