I want to thank everyone for their comments, questions and support. Your questions have helped me to understand Doug’s affair a little better. I know it is hard to understand that even after a year I was not sure about all the dynamics of their relationship. We would have these questioning sessions and most of the time I really couldn’t grasp what he was saying because I was so emotionally upset. By seeing everything in black and white and little by little piecing together all the information I believe I have a pretty good picture of the affair.
For one, I would like to call Tanya a million inappropriate names but I am not going there. Secondly, I believe that Tanya had a totally different goal for their relationship than Doug. I know Doug had that “in love” feeling for her, I witnessed that first hand when I initially found out about the affair, but I believe he never intended to leave our marriage. Tanya on the other hand wanted my husband. It wasn’t just a passing fling, or a diversion from her unhappy marriage. She was ready to give up her marriage for a better prospect and I shutter to think about the lengths she went to achieve her goal. I know that when I found out about the affair, the man I knew for half my life was not that man at all, and I blame her for that. His thoughts, goals, reasoning was not of someone who was a devoted husband and father.
Maybe that is why I didn’t give up, I knew that eventually he would break free from her spell and come back to me, a place where he belongs and is truly happy.
Thanks again to all of you wonderful people!