no more lies

No More Lies, Please!

I think it’s safe to say that we all hear of, or come into contact with liars on a daily basis.  Just watch the evening news sometime.  Politicians are lying, Criminals are lying.  Corporate executives are lying.  Super Bowl quarterbacks are lying.  The list is endless. I admit that I used lie all the time.  […]

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ultimatum after an affair

The Ultimatum After an Affair

There is a tendency among the betrayed to walk and talk on eggshells.  They are afraid to say and do things that are going to piss the cheater off and possibly push them further away.  On the surface, it seems like a logical and safe way to handle the situation – whatever it may be.  […]

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technique to save your marriage

The Most Powerful Technique to Save Your Marriage

There’s hardly a day that goes by that we don’t receive an email from a betrayed spouse who isn’t frustrated, angry, beaten down, out of control and about to give up.  They’re grasping for a way – any way – to help make things better. The reasons are many, but usually their crisis has something to […]

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bumping into another

What to Do if You Run Into Your Affair Partner

POST UPDATE:   So it finally happened.  After more than 6 years, I ran into the OW.  Well sort of.  Just about every day at some point, me and my faithful dog head out for about a 3-mile hike on some trails at a county park near our home.  It’s been hot as hell around here […]

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will you ever be able to trust again

Will You Ever Be Able To Trust Again?

The following is an excerpt from our book “Journey to Trust”, which was taken in part from one of our Affair Recovery Group sessions on rebuilding trust after an affair with Marriage and Family Therapist Jeff Murrah. So You Feel That You Will Never Be Able to Trust Again… I’ve communicated with a ton of […]

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Brene Brown on forgiveness

Brené Brown on ‘Rumbling with Forgiveness’

School started back up a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been running around all crazy-like ever since.  I made the decision at the end of last year to move to a different grade level, so now I’m teaching first graders again – after about 20 years of teaching third graders. To say this has […]

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affair partner

A Conversation with Kate

The other day I had a brief but interesting conversation with my sister-in-law regarding her relationship with her adult step children. In case you’re wondering, yes this is my brother-in-law’s wife (initially his affair partner), and the step kids I’m referring to are our nieces and nephew. It’s an extremely rare occasion that I’m ever […]

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details of the affair

A Betrayed Spouse Needs to Know the Details of the Affair

A betrayed spouse writes to his wife as to why it’s so important for him to know the details of the affair. We’ve addressed the importance of full disclosure by the cheater a few times.  In fact, Sarah P. wrote a nice article as recently as April.  But the other day we came across a wonderful letter […]

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your self-respect after an affair

Your Self-Respect After an Affair

After an affair strikes a relationship it is easy for each partner to lose their self-respect.  In this post, we’d like to use self-respect in the context of a person being able to hold himself/herself in esteem and believing that they are good and worthy of being treated well; having proper respect for oneself and […]

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Open ‘Mic’ Discussion #20

It’s that time again for you guys to take control of the topics that are most important to you. This is Open Mic #20 and we know there must be some things that are going on that you can either ask questions about, share your experiences – or maybe just do a little venting. Anyways, […]

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