Lesson Learned about Transparency

A Lesson Learned about Transparency

Even after more than five years, one slip-up can throw a BS back into panic mode. In this case, the BS happens to be Linda and I’m the one who slipped-up. Everything was cool after an hour-long discussion but I certainly learned another valuable lesson. Actually, it was a lesson I already knew (or should […]

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A Little Help Here Please

Way back in June of 2011 we completed our first book called Journey to Trust:  Rebuilding Trust after an Affair.  At the time our plan was to introduce individual ‘workshops’ pertaining to the different aspects of affair recovery and healing.  For instance, dealing with obsessive thoughts, dealing with anger and other emotions, forgiveness, restoring self-esteem, […]

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discovering your authentic self

You’re Not Your Authentic Self When Having an Affair – Discovering Your Authentic Self

While on our recent getaway to the great state of Michigan (that’s hard to say as an Ohio State fan), we visited the small town of Saugatuck. It’s a pretty cool little place which has a certain stepping-back-in-time feel to it. After a day of hiking some dunes and hanging out on the beach along […]

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Shifting the Responsibility for Recovery onto the Cheater

My mother had to have a cancerous kidney removed this week, so needless to say we’ve been spending a lot of time at the hospital.  Thankfully, the cancer that was discovered was determined to be fully contained within the kidney, so at 80 years of age, my mother has a pretty clean prognosis going forward.  […]

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Should You Tell Your Adult Children About the Affair

Discussion – Should You Tell Your Adult Children About the Affair?

In our situation, our children were still rather young when the affair was going on. Our oldest was only about 17 and our youngest were about 11. We chose not to tell our kids about anything. If they were adults at the time, would we have? Who really knows? It’s a tough dilemma and one […]

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avoid cheating on your spouse

How to Avoid Cheating on Your Spouse

So here you are, happy in a loving, committed relationship and yet at every turn there is temptation. There’s the attractive assistant manager in the office down the hall, the client who always seems to be flirting with you or an attractive member of the opposite sex that approaches you when you are out on […]

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the difference between pain and suffering

The Difference Between Pain and Suffering

One thing that is at the core of the healing process and is very crucial to be aware of and to understand is the difference between pain and suffering. It took me awhile to catch on to this myself, but in my experience I’ve learned this to be true: Pain is something that occurs in […]

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Open “Mic” Discussion #10

Once again it’s our monthly feature where our discussion is completely open to whatever you want to talk about.   So far these ‘Open Mic’ discussions have been quite popular and for that, we thank you! This is Open Mic #10 and we hope that there are some things that are going on that you can […]

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The Change is Coming

There’s something that has been going on in our household that has created some distressing turn of events. We’re going through a rough patch where there is a noticeable lack of intimacy, there’s increased tension at times, sex is very infrequent and Linda is questioning herself in a variety of ways. Before you get all […]

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Advice for Betrayed Spouses – What to Do and What Not to Do

We came across the following piece of advice somewhere online. Neither one of us can remember exactly where, though it has the distinct feel of the Marriage Builders forum. In general, it offers sound advice for betrayed spouses to follow after affair discovery. As with any advice piece, it may not apply in its entirety […]

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