rebuilding a marriage

Make This D-Day Your Last – What Works in Rebuilding a Marriage after Infidelity

Making this D-Day your last has three key components or considerations. Making this D-Day your last requires activity and honest assessment on your part. I will first discuss the elements that help in rebuilding a marriage after infidelity. If those don’t work, you can still stay if you choose to. However, there are times when […]

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the 4m's of why cheaters cannot leave their affair partners

The Four M’s: Why Cheaters Cannot Leave Their Affair Partners

  By Sarah P. It’s the most troublesome, frustrating, and heartbreaking situation of them all: when you realize that even if your spouse stays with you, they won’t or can’t break it off with the other person.  Featured Download: “The Top 10 Reasons to Leave Your Affair Partner Now” If you’re the unfaithful, get it, […]

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boundaries after the affair

Boundaries After the Affair – How to Use Physical, Geographical, and Emotional Boundaries to Move Forward

  by Sarah P. After you find out about your husband’s or wife’s affair, the very first thing that you must realize is that nothing will be normal again. Your task is to create a new normal as a couple and that normal includes a marriage that will ultimately be better than before. But that […]

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rebuilding your marraige

When You Decide to Stay: Dealing with triggers and the issue of trust while rebuilding your marriage.

Sarah P.     About 15 years ago, I was interviewing for a contract position at a tech company. The hiring manager wanted an informal interview, so he and I went and had lunch at the company cafeteria. He didn’t have a filter and the conversation went like this: “You know, trust is a really […]

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trauma bonding

Trauma Bonding: Why It’s So Hard to Let Go After an Affair

By Sarah P. Abandonment causes deep shame. Abandonment by betrayal is worse than mindless neglect. Betrayal is purposeful and self-serving. If severe enough, it is traumatic.” Patrick J. Carnes, PhD (1) The other day when I was looking for studies in psychology databases, I saw an abstract that caught my eye. The abstract basically said […]

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serial cheater

A Tale of Two Cheaters: Are You Married to a Reverse Prince Charming or a Fallen Prince Charming?

How to Tell the Difference and Why It’s Important to Know the Difference. Sarah P.   Some men never stop looking for the affair – they are serial cheaters whose affairs have nothing to do with relatedness to another, intimacy, sharing, pain or silence–They connect as conquest to bolster a well hidden but fragile ego. […]

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heal from the affair

The Nuts and Bolts of Affair Recovery – The elements that need to be present in order to heal from an affair.

What are the basic elements that need to work together to help you heal from the affair? By Sarah P.   This article is about some of the ‘must-haves’ that need to occur during the healing from infidelity. Conversely, there are other actions and processes that are more nuanced that need to occur, but this article […]

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Don’t let your in-laws prevent you from healing from the affair

Mother Knows Best – Don’t let your in-laws prevent you from healing from the affair.

  By Sarah P. On a message board, Kaitlyn said, “We had been married 10 years, [had a] couple of kids… and my mother-in-law just tossed that aside when my husband started having an affair with a woman from work. My husband and I are currently working on our relationship, but I still can’t believe […]

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microphone

Open ‘Mic’ Discussion #23

It’s been 2 months since our last open mic discussion – where you guys discuss the topics that are most important to you. It’s time to do it again! This is Open Mic #23 and we know there must be some things that are going on that you can either ask questions about, share your experiences – or […]

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rules of fair fighting

11 Rules of Fair Fighting – Taming the Incredible Hulk

Rules of Fair Fighting and How To Make Yourself Heard By Sarah P. The incredible hulk—what does he have to do with anything? When I refer to the Incredible Hulk, I am referring to the extremely angry feelings that flood us when our unfaithful spouse has no insight into our feelings and refuses to acknowledge […]

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