trauma bonding

Trauma Bonding: Why It’s So Hard to Let Go After an Affair

By Sarah P. Abandonment causes deep shame. Abandonment by betrayal is worse than mindless neglect. Betrayal is purposeful and self-serving. If severe enough, it is traumatic.” Patrick J. Carnes, PhD (1) The other day when I was looking for studies in psychology databases, I saw an abstract that caught my eye. The abstract basically said […]

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serial cheater

A Tale of Two Cheaters: Are You Married to a Reverse Prince Charming or a Fallen Prince Charming?

How to Tell the Difference and Why It’s Important to Know the Difference. Sarah P.   Some men never stop looking for the affair – they are serial cheaters whose affairs have nothing to do with relatedness to another, intimacy, sharing, pain or silence–They connect as conquest to bolster a well hidden but fragile ego. […]

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heal from the affair

The Nuts and Bolts of Affair Recovery – The elements that need to be present in order to heal from an affair.

What are the basic elements that need to work together to help you heal from the affair? By Sarah P.   This article is about some of the ‘must-haves’ that need to occur during the healing from infidelity. Conversely, there are other actions and processes that are more nuanced that need to occur, but this article […]

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Don’t let your in-laws prevent you from healing from the affair

Mother Knows Best – Don’t let your in-laws prevent you from healing from the affair.

  By Sarah P. On a message board, Kaitlyn said, “We had been married 10 years, [had a] couple of kids… and my mother-in-law just tossed that aside when my husband started having an affair with a woman from work. My husband and I are currently working on our relationship, but I still can’t believe […]

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microphone

Open ‘Mic’ Discussion #23

It’s been 2 months since our last open mic discussion – where you guys discuss the topics that are most important to you. It’s time to do it again! This is Open Mic #23 and we know there must be some things that are going on that you can either ask questions about, share your experiences – or […]

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rules of fair fighting

11 Rules of Fair Fighting – Taming the Incredible Hulk

Rules of Fair Fighting and How To Make Yourself Heard By Sarah P. The incredible hulk—what does he have to do with anything? When I refer to the Incredible Hulk, I am referring to the extremely angry feelings that flood us when our unfaithful spouse has no insight into our feelings and refuses to acknowledge […]

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do open marriages work

Do Open Marriages Work?

By Sarah P.  Polyamorists claim open marriages are a good solution for the continued happiness of long-term happy marriages.  But do open marriages work? We have heard a lot from them recently—those people who practice polyamory. The movement, which was made popular in the 1970’s, is now rearing its ugly, leering head and wandering eyes […]

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why women cheat

For Betrayed Men: Why women cheat and leverage that you have if your wife cheated

  By Sarah P. This is Sarah’s second installment of her series on the leverage a betrayed spouse has after infidelity.  This post will address the leverage men have when their wives have been unfaithful.  (To read the first part of the two part series, you can  click here.) Most of the articles on this […]

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husband won't end the affair

Time For Real Talk – The leverage you have when your husband won’t leave the other woman

by Sarah P. Note:  This is the first installment of a two-part series where Sarah P. will address the leverage one has when their spouse won’t leave their affair partner.  This week she addresses when the husband won’t end the affair and next week she’ll dig into when the wife won’t leave her affair partner. It’s one […]

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an emotional affair

Don’t Be Caught Off Guard – How to Recognize An Emotional Affair: Suspicions, Signs, and Symptoms

What is an emotional affair? To boil it down to its essence, an emotional affair is a set of feelings for another person of the opposite sex that ends up blurring boundaries and supporting behaviors (based on those feelings) that are destructive to a marriage. These things put together can spell the beginning of the […]

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