A little motivation to get the year started! And though this post has really nothing to do with infidelity or marital crisis, it certainly can be applied to those situations – and really all aspects of your life.
For most of the civilized world, it seems that January is a month where people review the past year and then focus on improving themselves, making changes, setting goals, etc. You can certainly throw me in that group of people as I’ve always been a goal setter – just not always a goal achiever – and I tend to do a little life rearranging every January. And it gets me motivated.
For most of my adult life I’ve never worked for a salary. I’ve either been on straight commission or owned my own business. Both are situations where the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me” indeed apply.
And over the years I’ve struggled with keeping myself motivated through the daily grind, rejection, a variety of economic downturns, recessions, housing collapses and such, so I’ve always utilized a variety of motivational techniques to help push me along.
Personally, I find success stories, case studies and music to be quite motivational, but nothing really compares to a certain very special book. A book written by me – for me.
Unlike the books you’ll find on the personal development or self-help shelves of your local bookstore, it’s written purely for myself. Whenever I feel demotivated or unsure I’m on the right path. I read it.
The book has no foreword, no chapter numbers and no introduction. Instead, these are the exact words it starts with…
Your success lies in the hands of no-one else. Nobody is holding it behind their back, keeping it away from you as you as you frantically reach around their waist trying to grab it. Nobody is going to hand it to you either. This is all on you. You can become the leader in your field. Never ever falter on that belief. You can do this entire thing on your own.”
I have so much belief in how important personal attitude is that I read my own words to myself almost every single day. And it works.
While it’s inspiring for me to know that I can do anything I want on my own, the more important message is that I’m not putting responsibility for my results (or lack of them) on anyone else’s shoulders.
I proudly accept the position I’m in, and the challenge ahead, as my challenge.
It’s incredible how your attitude towards anything can flow into all areas of life
In his best-selling book, What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, Shad Helmstetter makes a very profound claim about the importance of how we look at things and talk to ourselves.
After examining the philosophies, the theories, and the practiced methods of influencing human behavior, I was shocked to learn the simplicity of that one small fact: You will become what you think about most; your success or failure in anything, large or small, will depend on your programming – what you accept from others, and what you say when you talk to yourself.
It is no longer a success theory; it is a simple but powerful fact. Neither luck nor desire have the slightest thing to do with it. It makes no difference whether we believe it or not. The brain simply believes what you tell it most. And what you tell it about you, it will create. It has no choice.”
Applying this to your own life
Now certainly all of what I’ve presented thus far has a personal development and business slant behind it, but can you see how maybe this stuff could also pertain to your own life? Your happiness? Achieving your own goals? Losing those last 10 pounds? Finally running that 5K race? And yes, even recovering and healing from infidelity?
I firmly believe that your attitude has a huge impact on every aspect of your life.
One of the business bloggers I follow recently challenged his readers…
To show you the true power of your attitude in all aspects of life, I want to set you a challenge. Just for the next seven days, I want you to be the most positive person you know.
No matter what happens, I want you to try and view everything in a positive light. To find the silver lining in every experience. See how often you can catch yourself with negative emotions when there is a much better alternative. “
This is one of the things I have to work on much more myself and I certainly will, because I know how beneficial a practice it is.
Only when you put the responsibility of your results solely on your own shoulders will you give yourself the best chance of achieving them.
Can you see how this might be beneficial when it comes to your own situation? I challenge you to try!
Start writing your own book
I also challenge you to write your own book. Just for you.
Imagine for a second that our brains have a very limited capacity when it comes to retaining anything we read.
The capacity is so limited that by the time you’re on the third Harry Potter book, every subsequent chapter you read overwrites your memory of the beginning chapters of the first book. If this were the reality for the human brain, what would you find yourself reading most often? Cosmopolitan or The Art & Science of Love?
Fortunately our brain capacity is not so limited, but I like to sometimes think of it in this way as a reminder to control the input sources which affect my thinking, habits and ultimately, my life.
This is one of the main reasons I wrote this book for myself a couple of years ago.
My book contains what I believe to be the most important advice I can follow, and the most important things I can do, in order to reach my own personal definition of being successful – in business and in life. While it’s not something I could ever sell or release publicly – it’s written in a very personal manner.
Now, I certainly don’t read this book daily because I don’t need to. I’ve read it enough times to be able to repeat almost every word aloud without looking at it.
Yet there are times where perhaps things aren’t going my way and work isn’t progressing as I would like, that I need a little ‘pick me up’. This book reminds me that I’m on the right path, encourages me to keep going, and includes a few other important messages which I genuinely believe to be true.
Zig Ziglar, one of the most recognized names in business and leadership, recommended that people who purchase his motivational tapes listen to them at least 16 times. That may not sound too extreme until you realize I heard this while half-way through a 7-hour recording!
While listening to 7 hours of information more than 16 times may sound a little ridiculous – it did to me when I first heard him say it – I later understood his point. Listening to something so much means not only that you can finish most of his sentences, but the content literally spreads through your entire being and belief system.
And that’s the important point I want to get to before you just start writing anything in your book (if you’re going to do it at all).
You must believe what you’re reading or hearing.
If there are some aspects in Zig’s message for example that you don’t quite follow or relate to, then you probably shouldn’t listen to it again, never-mind 16 times.
Your book should be made up of the disciplines, action steps and truths about love, work and life that you – and you alone – believe will help you achieve whatever it is you want to achieve.
The single reason why I wrote a book just for myself was because I wanted everything I believed to be true in one place, for times when I doubted what I was doing or believed.
It doesn’t matter if anyone else agrees with them. If you believe them, that’s all that counts.
So go and start writing your book – for you – and then don’t forget to read it!