Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the US.  It’s a great time to be with friends and family, but it can also be a very difficult time once an affair has devastated your life.

We’ve posted the poem below each of the previous two years and like before, we would appreciate it if you could tell us about the things that you are thankful for. 

Even in the depths of despair that you may very well be feeling right now, we believe there can still be reasons to give thanks!


Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire.

If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something,

for it gives you the opportunity to learn.


Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,

because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,

because it will build your strength and character.


Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary,

because it means you’ve made a difference.


It’s easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who

are also thankful for the setbacks.


Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,

and they can become your blessings.

–Author unknown.


Have a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving!  Try not to eat too much tomorrow and enjoy “Black Friday” for those of you crazy enough to fight the crowds.

Don’t forget to comment below on the things you are thankful for.

We are thankful to each and every one of you!

Linda & Doug



    16 replies to "What are You Thankful For?"

    • Battleborn

      I am thankful for Linda and Doug, who without them would make this awful process much more painful.

      I am thankful for all of those who post here with their comments, good or bad; for those comments have been my saving grace in my worst times and made me feel as though I, too, can face this tragedy not alone, but with others who are going through the same torture.

      I am thankful that my family is still intact even though it has been damaged through no fault of my own.

      I am thankful that I have been giving a chance to rectify those mistakes I have made in my marriage prior to the affair.

      And I am most thankful that I still have my husband of 20 years who has seen the error in his ways and has been making progress in perserving our lives together.

      Happy Thanksgiving to all of you… yes, it may be painful for us, but there is always something to be thankful for.

    • Lynsey

      I am thankful for all the work Doug & Linda have put into this site. They, along with all the other people who comment and contribute have been my lifeline through this hell. I am thankful that my husband of 28 years is working along with me to make our marriage be the best it has ever been. I am thankful that I still have my parents to share Thanksgiving with, especially my 92 year old father whom I adore.

      Happy Thanksgiving to everyone…even in the darkest of times, I hope we can all find something to be thankful for.

    • Natalia

      I am thankful for Doug and Linda, for having been brave enough to tell their story to help others. Thank you Doug for allowing me to be able to stay in this blog.
      I am thankful for my husband who listened to my words of pain and understood he was losing me through his actions. He is working every day to make our marriage better than before. I am thankful for my children because unbeknownst to them they gave me the strength to fight for my marriage.
      I am also thankful to those who post here for you have kept me company when I thought I was alone in this mess.
      Happy and blessed thanksgiving to all.

    • Patsy50

      I am very thankful for Doug and Linda for sharing their EA story with us. This was the second site I came upon and very glad I did.

      I am thankful for my husband who has worked so very hard alongside of me to better this relationship, marriage.

      I am thankful for my family for their love and support for without them I would not be where I am today.

      I am thankful for this tough journey for it has made me stronger and a much wiser person.

      I wish all a very Happy Thanksgiving!

    • DJ

      I am also thankful to Doug and Linda for creating a place where we can comfortable in learning and discussing the difficult issues involved in infidelity.

      I am thankful for the way God has allowed us to be able to study and discuss things online.

      I am thankful that my family is intact and that we have faced our disaster together and are coming through it well.

      I am thankful for the wonderful people I have met online who have become my blogging community.

      My list could go on and on. After all, gratitude is an attitude that changes lives.

      Happy Thanksgiving!

    • chiffchaff

      A very happy thanksgiving to all of you over there!

      Thanks Linda & Doug, ditto the above, you’re both sanity savers.

    • tryingtoowife

      Happy Thanksgiving to everyone but specially to Linda and Doug! Thank you so much for starting this blog, and to all the people that comment here. Without it, it would be a much harder (and confusing!) road to travel.

    • Rachel

      I’m thankful that thanksgiving holiday is almost over. Two more to get through. My boys are having a very difficult time. My oldest from college is my “family man”. He breaks down often. His father wants to see him before he goes back to school today and my son said to him, I can’t I’m busy. He is angry, we all are. My son said boy she must be something special to leave our family.
      As for my younger son, he holds it all in. His father is now playing a game with him. I’ll buy you a new car, but your mother needs to pay half. After all you do need to drive a safer car. His present car was from the H’s father. It’s funny it was fine before and of course, FREE!
      The h was living in the basement for 1 year. The big screen t.v. Is now not working. H said to my boys, we can get a new t.v. But your mother has to pay half. Again his games. He makes 100,000.00 more than I do. He is trying to make me look bad again. I don’t know if I should bring these latest incidents up to my attorney, but I am getting really tired of the games he is playing. I thought I would be rid of them once he left!

      • Natalia

        Rachel, it’s called parent alienation. Tell your attorney. It needs to stop. Demand that he get psychological therapy before he can visit or contact your sons. Actually your sons should be seeing a therapist who will be an expert witness should you have to take him to court for alienating your sons. If you use legal recourse against him everytime he sabotages you he’ll eventually back off cause it’s going to cost him more than you to defend himself. Don’t say anything negative about him to your sons you don’t want him using anything against you. Good luck. Hang in there.

    • Rachel

      Thank you, Natalia . I was not sure if I should discuss this with my attorney because I feel that I am calling him constantly about things this creep is doing. He truly unbelievable!!
      Someone that I don’t even recognize !!!
      Thanks again!! You guys get me through the rough days.

    • Surviving

      I am thankful for Doug and Linda and this site.
      I found this site when I was at my lowest of lows.
      I’m thankful for all the people I’ve met or heard stories through on this site.
      I’m thankful for my physical and mental health….
      And I’m thankful for my children who I love more than anything.
      I’m thankful this year and holidays are part way over.

    • tsd

      I’m a few days off, but to echo the others…I am also thankful for Doug and Linda and this helpful site. I hit what I thought was my lowest of lows, and that no one could understand, but then i found this site. Doug and Linda have the advice that they selflessly share to us, and it works. I have met friends in here that offer wisdom that I use. I am thankful that my eyes are wider open to all that posts, good and bad, because we all have gone thru the same steps. I have become a better person, and my journey is not complete. I am glad that each day becomes better, and I improve my bad habits. I hope my last step of trust will enable me to be free of the past errors made, and the future comes only will continued commitment and hard work, but the payoff of love endures!!!

    • rachel

      My H said that he wasn’t happy for the 25 years that we were married. He married me out of pity. He thought that having children would have changed his mind but it didn’t. I have the urge to text the ex and tell him that he should have left after our second child was born. That way my boys would have had a step father that wouldn’t leave them like he has done.
      Bad day. I just can’t understand how anyone can be so selfish!

      • Natalia

        Rachel, I feel your pain. But you said it, he is selfish. And mean. There was no need to say he married you because he felt pity. As much as you’d like to hurt him back it’s best not to stoop down to his level. That’s probably what he’s looking for to use it against you. You need to have the upper hand at all times. Just keep a journal with dates and times of all the nasty comments and incidents because you will eventually need it. I don’t know if you’ve gone to court yet but perhaps the judge would like to hear what he’s been saying to you and how he’s alienating your sons. Also if you or your sons see a therapist it would come in handy to show what you all are up against. Be strong for your sons and yourself.

    • Surviving

      I don’t understand why your H just can’t be happy now isn’t this what he wanted? Why is he torturing you and playing games with the boys?
      What kind of woman would want someone who treats others this way?

    • Carol

      Natalia, you are offering excellent advice. A written record of the things he says/does will be very important to Rachel going forward. I agree also about keeping the upper hand, which it sounds like you have been doing already and very well, Rachel! I keep thinking about the comment your older son made to you thanking you for giving him values. That is just priceless. Keep focused on that! All of your ex’s shenanigans haven’t prevented your older son from seeing and valuing the truth. And the younger will soon see it too, on his own, without your having to do anything, I would bet.

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