what are you thankful for

For those of us in the United States, this Thursday is Thanksgiving. Each year around this time we like to focus a discussion topic on things that we can be thankful for.

We certainly realize that you may be going through some immense pain and suffering right now, but even in the depths of despair that infidelity can bring, we believe we all can still find reason to give thanks!

Here’s a poem you may have seen before but we like it and wanted to share it once again.

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire.

If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something,

for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,

because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,

because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary,

because it means you’ve made a difference.

It’s easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who

are also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,

and they can become your blessings.

–Author unknown.


So…what are you thankful for?

Have a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving and while you’re at it, try not to eat too much or you might end up like some of the people in the video below.  

See also  Open 'Mic' #39 - What Do YOU Want to Talk About?

Oh, and by-the-way, we are very thankful for all of you!

Linda & Doug



Phote source:  Blanca Stella Mejia



    10 replies to "Discussion – What Are You Thankful For?"

    • Falling Ash

      Sorry to start the thread off on a negative tone but I am in quite a “black” place at present due to recent events, so I guess the only things I am truly thankful for are that my OH has started IC to try and fix what is broken inside him…and the love of my daughter and grandson which are the only things keeping me going right now.

    • Hopeful

      I hear you! This is the first holiday since d day. I struggle with memories, holidays everything like that. I am having a hard time since my husband had two affairs overlapping one for 10 years and the other around 5 years. Yet all this time I got cards saying I love our life. I am so lucky to have you as my wife. And all of our conversations about our future. Much of this is tied to holidays or celebrations or vacations. When he says remember when I get a sick feeling in my stomach all I think is yeah remember how you lied to me every day for 10 years. Yet he says he can separate it our and never wanted to leave me etc. yet I think how could you do that. I have heard the word compartmentalize way too many times. And I honestly do not think I will ever understand it. I am not made that way. I have never told a lie to my husband. So I wonder how can I justify this all in my head.

      Then I hear what he says and see his actions now. I think is this real now? I think I have to give this my best shot so I have no regrets. I need to be true to myself. I am the same person I was when we met 25 years ago. The questions is does he have what it takes to build a marriage and future with me. It is a high threshold now and I will not back down or be a push over with my expectations. I also think to myself if I was going to leave I should have over these 10 years. I never knew yet something was not right and he treated me like crap. And also I know there are no guarantees with anyone. I also want to work to keep our family in tact. Not at any cost only if once our kids go to college we will be be satisfied and wanting to be together. So far he is doing everything right and I appreciate it but I have my guard up. He says all the time his goal is for us to have a quality and loving marriage. He wants me to be happy and me and our marriage to be his number one priority. So I will take it for now with some reservations.

    • Min

      Thankful that the people that are unfaithful and selfish have revealed themselves to me. Thankful that I have been freed from a life that was seemingly charmed to find one that IS. Thankful for the friends I have kept and gained through my personal trials this year. Thankful for family. Thankful for communities such as these that speak to us and guide us in our darkest hours.

      Mostly I am thankful for the experience and the knowledge I have gained this year that I think can be shared by many here. I now know that the worst times in life can lead to the best times. I can say from experience that when doors close others open. Life unfolds in unexpected and sometimes undesired ways but it’s comforting to know that what we think is the end is actually just the beginning.

      This year through the infidelity of my husband I leaned retraint, wisdom, happiness, confidence, sadness – so many things good and bad. The tumult of emotions has made me so thankful. I hope the journeys of the authors of this blog and the readers take you the same many places. You have to know sadness to appreciate happiness. You need to have weathered a storm to appreciate the calm.

      I hope you all can find the light in the dark and be thankful for where you have been when you get where you are going. Xoxo

    • Scott

      I’m thankful for my kids, my friendships, my future, my job, slowly regaining my fiscal health…which may take about 5 years but what the heck, better than losing everything.

      Grateful for having disturbed, sick, twisted, inhumane people being expunged from my existence.

      I’m glad I survived and I’m also glad I’m not as trusting or giving as I used to be. I was taken advantage of, by many. They are no longer welcomed in my world. I’m more skeptical, and less willing to give the benefit of the doubt. My standards are mine, but I should and can expect people to meet those standards like I do, or I can and do walk away. There’s nothing wrong with my boundaries. And boy am I happy for boundaries.

    • Pushing Foward

      1st time commenter here. D-day is coming up quick. I’m trying hard to focus my energy on other things. It is HARD! My husband had an EA last year with a girl who was 15 yrs. younger than him. I don’t want to really get into that part as I am not sure if I am ready to tell my story, but I do want to say what I’m thankful for.

      This blog. Thank you. A million times, thank you. It has helped me when I have had some dark days. I have found myself nodding my head in agreement as well as shedding some tears for others who have gone thru this as well.

      I am thankful for God. Without him, I don’t think I would have ever been able to make it to the point I am now. I have strength I never even knew I had. My eyes are open. Wide open at that. I am also thankful that this girl my husband had an EA with, showed her true colors and who she really was. I don’t understand women who play on married men especially when some of these married men are swimming in a black hole of depression. Mid life crisis? I’m not sure. It is very possible. She found him when he was at his weakest and he fell for it…hook, line, and sinker. It just makes me cringe. Anyways, I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving! God bless you all and, I’m so glad I am not only one who is going thru this crap even though no one should ever have to go through this, it is nice to know we are not alone.

    • Patsy50

      Happy Thanksgiving Linda and Doug. And to all on this site, for we all have something to be thankful for.

      I am thankful for finding this site when I didn’t know what to do or where to start to get myself and my marriage back on track. You were always there.

      I am thankful for my children who supported me every step of the way while on this journey. My little grandsons who keep me very busy. And a granddaughter due in December.

      And I am very thankful for all the hard work my husband has shown in these past five years since his EA to make our marriage stronger and better for both of us.

    • Falling Ash

      Thanks for the reminder, Patsy50. I would also like to say I am very thankful to Linda and Doug for this site which had been a lifeline to me for well over a year now. You have saved me from going out of my mind since discovering my OH’s 8 year EA. The EA may be long over but the fallout keeps on going! OH should be thankful I am still here!!! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you in the US of A. Have a wonderful day. X

    • Doug

      Thanks everybody for your comments. I realize this is a tough time for you most of you and it can seem especially difficult to feel thankful for anything.

      We had a nice Thanksgiving at my parents house. Besides our family, my sister and her husband were there along with his son. So there was 10 of us all together. It was a nice day. My parents, my sister and her husband are all wine aficionados and 3 of the 4 of them were fast asleep about a half hour after eating dinner. Much like those in the video above.

    • TheFirstWife

      I am thankful for this blog sponsored by Doug & Linda. It has helped me tremendously.

      I am thankful for the posts from everyone who posted. I have gained tremendous insight from all of you. I enjoy the funny side of things (many of Rachel’s posts) and have felt the pain of so many based on your posts.

      Also I am grateful for being part of a community that truly understands everyyhing the BS goes through. All the emotions and the roller coaster ride we are on and how those unexpected emotions just appear.

      I am happy my marriage survived the affairs. And that I can accept my H for who he is now.

      Thanks to all – I consider you my friends.

    • Joey

      Hey everyone –

      On my way to work this morning, I came across this article about this man’s Facebook post that has gone viral since Wednesday. It put a smile on my face. Here is the link below (you can see his full post on his Facebook page)


      I am thankful for people reminding us that it is cool to profess our love for our spouses/partners, reminding us that it is cooler to fall back in love with our spouses than another person, and reminding us to hold on to and cherish the things we do have and not be upset about the things we don’t have.

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