Today is exactly 7 months since our very first post on this blog. We wanted to first say thank you to all of you for being readers.  We have learned and grown a tremendous amount with the help of all of you, and we truly hope that you have been able to learn from us.  This really has been a journey and you all are helping us out immensely.  It’s amazing the therapeutic value we get from doing this.

It’s hard to believe, but since that first post back on December 16th, we have posted a total of 157 times.  When you think about it, over the 212 days since that first post, we have posted on 74% of those days.   You probably can guess that we are passionate about this subject and about recovering from infidelity.

Today, we’re writing to ask for your help.  As you can imagine, researching, writing and responding to comments for this blog takes a tremendous amount of time and effort.  We would like to think that this time and effort is being well spent.  Therefore, we would appreciate your input as to what you would like to experience when you visit.

We’ve got a zillion ideas, but don’t want to implement them if they won’t interest or be of benefit to all of you.  As an example, the Forum hasn’t taken off like we thought it would.  Apparently many of you must be too shy, or just like conversing in the comment section as opposed to the forum.  As a result, we may chalk that up as a failed experiment and close it down soon.

See also  Discussion: Do You Feel Responsible for the Affair?

Here are some of the ideas that we are kicking around:

  • Audio, written or video interviews with marriage and infidelity experts and authors. These would be formatted as a blog post or a podcast so that you could check them out at your leisure.
  • Webinars with marriage and infidelity experts.  These would be similar to a conference call where we would all be on a call at the same time, with the ability to ask questions of the expert.
  • A coaching program.  In this instance, we would schedule one on one telephone sessions with those who are interested in individual assistance.
  • We also have kicked around doing interviews with any of you who might be interested in sharing your story.

The bottom line is we want to provide you with the best possible experience so that you can have the knowledge you feel is necessary to help you recover from infidelity and improve your relationships—whether you are a victim or have had an affair yourself.

So if you would be so kind as to use the comment section and make suggestions of what you would find most helpful.  You can mention ideas for post topics, ideas for future Open Discussion topics, format ideas such as video or audio…basically anything you can think of.  We would greatly appreciate the input.

One other thing…if you enjoy a post or the comments to a post, please pass it along by Tweeting it or hitting the “Share This” button.  By doing this we can possibly attract more readers and in turn additional points of view.  Feel free to donate to the blog at anytime too! 😉

See also  Discussion – Has the Trauma of the Affair Caused You Any Physical Ailments?

    22 replies to "We Need Some Help"

    • Broken

      I like the interview idea very much… it would really help to know other readers situations without having to ask them questions in different posts. I would like too see the interviews in one section so that we can go and see their answers all in one spot, as opposed to having to click around the posts.

      • surprised

        I also like the idea of each person’s story being in one place because I try to remember who wrote what to what comment/topic & it would be nice to not only see that but also see the background of each person & their journey.

        Maybe there could also be a “send a private message” link that we could use to contact a person that we might have quite a bit in common with if we want to talk more personally about our situation.

        I really like the resources you provide & links to authors/books/radio/tv shows. I have been consuming anything I can find in order to understand what is going on in my life right now.

        Finally, I want to thank Doug & Linda so very much. This is the only site out there that I’ve found that talks about emotional affairs yet it is becoming all too common as technology & connectedness increases. Thank you for your time/effort, openness & honesty. Men in this situation seem to find it so hard to even admit it is an affair & then humble themselves enough to admit it was wrong & then talk about it every day – especially since it’s not a highlight of your lives together. But it gives all of us so much hope that there is a possibility of recovery.

        • Doug

          Thanks Surprised. There are 2 possibilities that could help with the background info and private message issue you mention. One is there is a “Subscribe” feature to the comments where you can be notified via email when someone makes a comment to a particular post or comment. Secondly, those features are available in the forum, and was one of the reasons I set up the forum in the first place. You can set up a profile and message people rather easily.

          We’re trying to build a community or sorts and the forum can allow that to happen. Any suggestions there would also be helpful. Thanks for your input and kind words!

          • surprised

            I just posted some things on the forum. Guess I never really looked at it before. It’s easy to use! Don’t get rid of it – maybe with this posting topic more people will try it out.

    • d

      What drew me initially to this site was the dual perspectives of affairs. Linda provides solace and guide to what we can/might expect on our journey we didn’t ask to take. Doug meanwhile offers the view of the “other side.” His perspective offers a way to understand our wayward spouses. There is a waiting game to all of this that most of us are too impatient to accept. We want our marriages back, rarely understanding that our marriages will forever be different (hopefully better.)

      • Doug

        So what do you feel would help you get to the end of that waiting game faster and easier?

        • d

          Yeah, I guess I didn’t really offer any ideas there. I really enjoy this site. I actually think I visit too often and it borders on doing more harm than good. I like the idea of bios and links to people’s comments. It’s helpful to hear if someone’s situation is similar enough to gain strength or solace from.

      • Kate

        I agree, I am drawn to this site because Doug & Linda are real. They are just two folks like us going through a crappy situation.

        So many of the other sites I read about infidelity are by “experts” or sales pitches. I like the personal feel here. To be honest, the posts on this site that include videos or other media are the ones I tend to skip over…

        I like the interview/bio idea for readers, I’m cool with using the forum if it becomes a little more lively. I just haven’t participated there because it seems that it is under-utilized.

        • Doug

          Thanks Kate, We appreciate the kind words. It seems that video and audio are not the favorite formats amongst most of those who have commented. That surprises me. It contradicts what most “experts” say. Maybe the forum would be more lively if YOU utilized it more! 😉

          • Kate

            Yeah, I know that not using the forum because it is not used much is pretty silly of me… 🙂

            The reason I tend to avoid the videos/podcasts is because I am visiting the site either at work between tasks, or if I am at home I would feel uncomfortable watching/listening when my H could hear it too. I can read without bothering anyone… 🙂

    • ruth

      I really do like the interview idea. I always try and listen to what everyone has to say. I LOVE THIS SIGHT just the way it is too. You have no idea how much Linda has helped me, I am not alone in how I feel. And Doug you have givin me hope that maybe in time my h will open up to me.

      • Doug

        Thanks Ruth. One question…would you most enjoy the interviews in written format or audio?

        • ruth

          written form

    • Karen

      Doug: I love the site the way it is also.
      I’m not sure I understand the forum as it seems to be duplicative of the posts, no?? I check this site several times a day (hopefully tapering off in the future) and constantly use the links you put on it to visit other sites. I think your and Linda’s posts (both original and in answer to our posts) are extremely helpful and the thing that distinguishes this site from others and makes it so helpful. Most of the ideas you state are available on other sites (which you link to often) – I guess I think you have a niche, and you should stick with it. I think all of us who have benefited should make a donation as I cannot imagine how much time you two have invested in doing this. I owe you and Linda a huge debt of gratitude.

      • Doug

        Karen, thanks for the input. FYI…I link most posts to the forum for those who might prefer that type of platform and in the hopes of kick starting it a little bit more. I really thought that the Forum would be a big hit so that everyone could converse back and forth a little easier. Oh well, live an learn. Thanks again.

        • Karen

          Doug:
          Your site makes it so easy to reply directly to yours and Linda’s posts and others that I think we all just ignore the forum, which would actually be a better place to exchange info by subject as you can more easily browse and go to the subjects you want to follow.

          • Doug

            I agree. Also the forum allows a little easier way to “connect” with one another.

    • Broken

      I would rather see the interview in written format.

    • Enough

      I have never really understood the forum. I like the discussion and the site the way it is. I do like links to things I can read. I find video and audio things are harder to do. As a working mom, I rarely have private time to listen or watch things without the kids around. With written form, I can read quickly or use the blackberry. It would be nice to be able to search a little easier, maybe sort by person who posted.

      • Doug

        Enough, Thanks for the input. I will search for a plugin that will allow searching based on person who comments. Otherwise you can see the most recent comments on the right side of the home page or you can subscribe to a post to monitor comments to a certain post (or several posts)

        • Broken

          Doug… I was also thinking of that idea, where you can search by the person who posted. Sometimes I want to read only posts by some people or read all the comments they made, that would be ideal. Like if you can put the person name and then it would show all their posts.

    • HarrieB

      I agree with what has already been said – especially the thanks to and admiration of you two, Doug and Linda. I was pretty desperate when I came across this site and it has helped me so much – your honesty and courage, your insight and the results of your research, your reading suggestions, and the daily (or almost daily) topic, which is just the right length to read in the time I have available. (I then usually check-in next day to read the comments, and perhaps respond myself). And of course the posts from fellow sufferers or the few strayers who have also contributed have been amazingly helpful too – thank you all. As others have said, I visit the site from work so can’t really listen to audio or video postings. I don’t tend to use the forum just because I am not very technically minded and responding on the comments section seems so simple and quick – but thats just down to my inexperience. I love the site as it is, with perhaps a few of the modifications that others have suggested…and yes, I quite like the idea of some sort of interview system, so that we can follow individual journeys. Thanks again for all your hard work.

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