man on laptopOccasionally I like to look at the stats of our blog to get a snapshot of what’s going on from a readership standpoint and to determine if there are any technical issues that need to be addressed or if there are any updates that need to be done, etc.

One of the things I like to look at is the list of search phrases that people use that ultimately brings them to our blog. Many of them can be eye-openers. 

They certainly can give you a window into the mind of the reader to some extent.

I thought I’d pass along the most often searched for terms along with some other nuggets I discovered.

My thinking is that some of these posts that are mentioned might be beneficial for you if you haven’t read them yet or feel that you’d like to re-read some of them. 


First of all, some quick numbers to throw out at you…

Since we started this blog in December of 2009 there have been…

  • 865 Published Posts
  • 26,675 Blog Comments made (not including the tens of thousands of spam comments)
  • 991,633 Unique Visitors from…
  • 193 Different Countries who have made…
  • 2,164,843 Visits and viewed…
  • 23,766,632 Pages of Content


The Top 20 Countries Represented Are:



The Top 10 Posts of All Time Based on Readership Are:

  1. Emotional Affair Signs 
  2. Cheating Spouses – 6 Reasons Why Their Affair Won’t Last
  3. It’s Tough to Stop an Emotional Affair
  4. When the Other Woman Becomes the Wife
  5. Our Journey from an Emotional Affair  (Basically the Start Here page.)
  6. When Affair Partners Marry – 9 Reasons Why They Might Fail 
  7. Getting Over an Affair: Dealing With Affair Withdrawal
  8. Real Reasons the Emotional Affair Happened  
  9. Is the Cheating Spouse Living With Regret?    
  10. After the Emotional Affair: I Hate You! 


Common Search Terms

There were 5449 different terms/phrases that were searched for over the last 3 months.  The highest searched for terms are related to the term “emotional affair” or our site directly.  The destination is typically either our home page or the blog page.  The most often used search terms are:

  • emotional affair journey
  • emotional affair journey blog
  • emotional
  • emotional affair blog
  • emotional affair
  • emotional affair Linda and Doug
See also  Managing Your Anger After the Affair

The next highest category of search terms relates to how long affairs generally last:

  • how long do affairs usually last
  • why affairs don’t last
  • average length of affair
  • do affairs last
  • etc.

Searches using these terms typically takes Googlers to the following two somewhat older posts:

Why Some Marital Affairs Last Longer Than Others

Cheating Spouses: 6 Reasons Why Their Affair Won’t Last


The Next Ten Top Search Terms Include…

“Affair down” -This takes searchers to Discussion – Why do Cheaters Affair Down? A post that discusses the phenomenon that the person someone cheats with tends not to be as attractive, interesting, engaging, etc. as the primary partner who is being cheated on.   

“When the other woman becomes the wife” – Not surprisingly, this term takes you to When the Other Woman Becomes the Wife. A post that was written by a woman who was the “other woman” and who eventually married her affair partner. Let’s just say that the experience hasn’t exactly been a bowl of cherries for either one of them.

“Affair fog stages”Understanding the Affair Fog is the destination here and it addresses the term often used by experts and affair victims to describe the euphoria that someone involved in an affair feels.  A term that many of you disagree with. 

“Runaway husband syndrome” – Vikki Stark is a family therapist, author and internationally renowned divorce expert. She is also an expert when it comes to ‘Runaway Husbands’ as a result of her formal training, as well as from a personal standpoint.  Her husband of 21 years up and left her for another woman – his secret girlfriend of 6 years – with no warning and with no real signs. The post, Runaway Husbands reveals her hallmarks of Wife Abandonment Syndrome, the warning signs of it and how to move forward.  

See also  Shift Responsibility to the Cheater to Recover From Infidelity

“Husband denies emotional affair” – Almost all cheaters use denial to some extent. In this post, Denying an Affair, we excerpt some stuff by Bill Herring, LCSW, CSAT where he touches on his four types of denial that you’re likely to encounter when confronting your spouse about any sort of inappropriate behavior and/or affair.  

“Understanding your betrayed spouse” – Now this search doesn’t actually take you to a post. Rather, it takes you to a page where you can download a quick reference manual for unfaithful partners called Understanding Your Betrayed Spouse and is intended to help them help their betrayed partner – and in turn themselves – through the aftermath of infidelity. 

“Affair bubble” – My brother-in-law’s affair saga and the resulting fallout is continued in the post, Life in the Affair Bubble. Here I question how his affair will affect his family and his extended family. 

“Midlife crisis affair fog” – This search will either take you to the Understanding the Affair Fog post or to Midlife Crisis and Infidelity. That post offers some information and resources based off of some research into the subject. It’s not meant to be an in-depth white paper or anything as it just hits on the highlights and lets you know where you can go to for more information. 

“Stages of grief affair” – One of our past readers, “Duane” wrote a great piece called, Affair Recovery and the 7 Stages of Grief. It’s based on his own experiences as a betrayed spouse and expands on Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ The 5 Stages of Grief, which she developed through her work with people with terminal illness or who experienced a catastrophic loss. 

“How to confront spouse about an emotional affair” – The post is called How to Confront a Cheating Spouse. Sheri Meyers, Psy.D, a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist wrote an article called, How to Confront Your Partner if You Catch Them Being Unfaithful where she provides her tips and advice on how to prepare for and follow through with a confrontation of an unfaithful partner. 

See also  Why Can't I Remember Things After the Affair?


From the “What the hell??” file…

Here are some rather unique search phrases that landed folks on our site for whatever reason (I had to chuckle at some of them):

  • open houses near me
  • flirty wife stories
  • wife comes home after fuck
  • wife got fat after marriage
  • married gay affair
  • emotional punk
  • i hate my wife’s mother
  • i choose to be a Christian
  • skype we didn’t recognize your sign-in details
  • i hate my wife and kids
  • i hate vacations
  • put it in your butt
  • wife turned into whore
  • divorce my sister
  • mom and son love affair
  • how to stop being an asshole
  • anal infatuation
  • my wife will fuck anyone
  • your boss tells you some news that disturbs you, but a phone call from your spouse distracts you. after you get off the phone, you have a lingering feeling that something is not quite right, but you cannot pinpoint what it is. it is likely you are reacting to the continued effect of:
  • when a man becomes a woman
  • mother in law shed
  • girl gives coworker blowjob during busy shift
  • my wife made me a woman
  • why does it take my husband so long to come
  • pinkyring
  • is it legal to kill cheating husband
  • do all women swallow
  • june cleaver is sexy

At first glance of some of those terms you would certainly wonder what kind of a site we were running!

This post has actually been kind of fun to do as well as enlightening to me. I haven’t checked the stats in a while and this was good exercise.  Hopefully it gives you an opportunity to read or re-read some popular posts from the past.

Now, if you can remember, what was the search term you used to find us (I hope it wasn’t “is it legal to kill cheating husband”!!) and what is your favorite post(s)?   Let us know below in the comment section, please.


    7 replies to "Top Emotional Affair Journey Posts, Searches, Stats and More"

    • Patsy50

      LOL Doug!

      No, my search wasn’t “Is it legal to kill your cheating Husband”, but it may have crossed my mind at the time!

      I actually searched “What is an Emotional Affair”

      I was shocked as my husband had quite a few of the signs. I printed them out, gave them to him to read and he agreed, it was called an emotional affair he was having. Although he never looked at it that way because it was not physical .

      Today on Oct. 22, 2011 we renewed our marriage vows. It’s been 4 years since DDay and I now recognize this date as my anniversary of a stronger, better built marriage then the one left behind. Thank you Doug and Linda for all the work put into educating us about Emotional Affairs and so much more

      • Doug

        Well, happy renewed marriage vow day! Thanks for the comments over the years and for the kind words. Keep moving forward!

    • Tabs


      Your “What the Hell” file is hysterical. How on earth did those phrases come up with your site?! I don’t clearly remember the terms I searched for. However I remember looking for something that could help me heal, years after Dday. I spent a lot of time surfing the internet for help.

      FYI – I used to follw another “marriage” blog before finding yours. The other site was not as helpful mostly because the writer probably has never been through infidelity. (At least that’s how I felt.) In fact, there was almost no interaction with the writer and the people blogging. They don’t step in to help, nor provide outside professionals’ links.

      • Doug

        I know aren’t they funny? I laughed pretty hard at a couple of them. Kind of makes you think about the wackos in this world too. Also goes to show you that the almighty Google and their algorithms aren’t always that accurate.

    • Mitch

      Regarding this “stats” page, I would be interested to know the survivability statistics of a marriage after discovery of an emotional affair and / or a physical affair. I would bet its harder for a marriage to survive an emotional affair. I would press this discussion further to see the survivability statistics of an EA assuming the cheating spouse holds true to the “no contact” rule with the other woman or other man (the affair partner).

      In other words, assuming the cheating spouse does not contact the affair partner ever again and you can then rebuild trust, I would say that the chance of the marriage staying together would be 50%.

      If the cheating spouse continues to lie and reconnects with the affair partner, each time you find out, the chances of the marriage surviving goes down. But to what extent?

      In my case, six months after D-day, with proper therapy, both together and separate, it was discovered that my wife contacted her emotional affair partner at least 6 times. After finding out after each contact (by either self admittance, phone bill records, email, etc) the trust meter goes back down to zero and the tank of love, that was full, is draining fast.

      Would she be able to stop contacting the guy in time to stop the “Tank of love” getting to zero? In our case, it did not.

      I am suspecting that if your spouse cannot abide by the ‘no contact’ rule, even once, your marriage is toast.

      Any statistics to back this up?

      • Doug

        Hey Mitch, 100% agree with everything you say. Most stats on surviving an affair that I’ve seen int the past I think indicate that about 50% of marriages survive regardless of type of affair. I’ve not seen any that break down EA vs PA and/or whether or not there was any further contact. However, it is evident just from readers of this site and others we communicate with that people continue to fight for their marriages even if/when the no contact rule is/was broken.

        • Mitch

          I realize that some or most “people continue to fight for their marriages if/when the no contact rule is/was broken”. People that do this are either in the ‘pathetic’ state (the non cheating partner) or the ‘fog’ state (the cheater). Neither of these states are good to be in when you are trying to repair your marriage. You don’t have a clear head and cannot think rationally.

          My question is “Why fight for the marriage when statistically your marriage is toast”? Why delay the inevitable?

          My wife and I tried to repair the marriage. She was not able to abide by the no contact rule and I could not trust her again.

          I would say that if your cheating spouse breaks the no contact rule even once, move on.

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