We came across the following piece quite by accident and thought that it was excellent.   It’s called “The Awakening Poem” by Judith Espinosa

the Awakening poem

With everything that is going on due to the pandemic, we felt it was a good time to re-post this article.

We ran it originally back in 2010 and over the years we’ve received several emails from folks who really found the article inspirational.

It came to mind just a week or so ago when the author reached out via email and brought to our attention that the version we had posted was actually plagiarized by another person.  We quickly made the necessary changes and at the same time made the decision to rerun it.  

We found “The Awakening Poem” to not only be thought provoking, but inspiring as well.  We think you will too!


 

“A poem written to help humanity, as a gift of love to all mankind. May the comfort of inspiring words, familiar thoughts and similar life challenges, help you. This Literary work was initially written years ago; a draft format was stolen and plagiarized online, without the original author’s knowledge. Now it is shared in its authentic version by the original author, for your enjoyment. May your journey be fulfilling and you, enlightened. May your lessons build you to lead those in similar paths and inspire others. May you awaken to your higher self and help others, do the same.”

~ The Author

 

The Awakening Poem

by Judith Espinosa

The Awakening​

There comes a time in life when you finally get it…when in the midst of all the fear and insanity, you stop dead on your tracks….and somewhere inside your head a voice cries out, ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying…or struggling, to hold on. And like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside. You shudder once or twice, you blink back a few tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world with new eyes.

This, is your awakening!​

You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something to magically change or for happiness, safety and security, to come galloping like a wild horse over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there is no Prince Charming or Cinderella…and that in the real world, there aren’t always fairy tale endings, or beginnings for that matter. You  realize that any “happily ever after” MUST begin with you….and with this, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, approve or appreciate who or what you are….and that, is OK (everyone is entitled to their own views and opinions). Thus, you learn the value of loving and championing yourself and with this, a sense of new-found confidence is born, of self-approval.​

You stop complaining and blaming other people for things they did to you (or did not do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on, is the unexpected. You realize that people don’t always say what they mean, or mean what they say…and that not everyone will always be there for you….and that it is not always, about you. As a result, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself. And with this, a sense of safety and security is born, from self-reliance.​

You also stop judging and pointing fingers…because you begin to accept people as they are; overlooking their shortcomings or human frailties. In the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness…for others and more importantly, for yourself. 

You begin to see that much of the way that you’ve viewed yourself and the world around you,  is a result of misleading messages and opinions which have engrained in your psyche. Therefore,  you start to sift through emotional debris, created by what has been fed to you for years;  about what you should believe, how you should look, how you should live, what career you should strive for,  who you should marry, what you should expect of marriage, the meaning of having or not having children…or why you should or should not live up to your family’s expectations.​

You begin to open up to new possibilities…new worlds and different points of views; assessing and redefining who you really are and what you truly stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing…you start to discard useless doctrines, which you’ve now outgrown; some which you should have never bought into, to begin with. You learn it is in giving that one truly receives. You discover there’s power in creating and contributing…so you stop maneuvering through life as a mere “consumer” just looking for the next fix.​

Surely, you learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not just some outdated ideals of a bygone era….but rather, like key ingredients in a mortar; the foundation upon which you should build a life. You begin to understand that you don’t know everything; as it is not your job to save the world….and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. The difference between guilt and responsibility becomes crystal clear…and you learn how important it is to set boundaries and the freedom, of saying NO. You realize the only cross to bear, is the one you choose to carry…as martyrs too, get burned at the stake.​

You also learn about LOVE. Familial, friendship and romantic love…and how to love. How much to give, when to hold back, and when to walk away. You learn not to impose or force things in a relationship. With this, you stop projecting expectations and learn to accept reality; allowing a natural unfolding of what is, instead of what you wish it would be. You begin to understand that you are not more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or more important by being how any person you love, expects you to be. Because, the person holding your hand does not define you. Furthermore, you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes…and realize that just as people grow and change, so does love. Ultimately, you accept that love does not have to be specific to a popular format, to equal happiness…or for it to have validity, and that being alone does not mean, being lonely.​

You look in the mirror and you come to terms with not having the body of an airbrushed model, from a fashion magazine. Therefore, you stop competing with the image in your head and instead, you start to love yourself exactly as you are. You stop agonizing on how to stack up to what others feel is normal or acceptable. Thus, you refrain from putting your feelings aside or ignoring your needs to fit in, or to satisfy others. And you learn that feelings of entitlement when it relates to your life and your happiness, are perfectly OK…you are, entitled to be appreciated….and valued. And sometimes, if you feel trespassed, it is necessary to make demands and to set boundaries, in order to protect yourself.​

You understand that you do deserve to be treated with love, kindness, compassion and respect; starting with how you, treat yourself…and not to contemplate anything less. From this point on, only those arms who cherishes you, may hold you….and in this process, you internalized the meaning of self-respect.​

You learn that your body, really is your temple. Thus…you begin to take care of it and to treat it with innate respect. You start to eat a balance diet and to hydrate with more water…you take more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue can also weaken the spirit; which could lead to self-doubt and anxiety…so you take more time to rest.​

And just as food fuels the body…laughter fuels the soul, so you find time to laugh and play. You learn that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve…and that much of life if not all, is a self fulfilling prophecy; so you make an effort to become more optimistic. You learn that anything worth achieving, is worth fighting for. That wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen…and you find the strength to do the latter.

Most importantly, you learn that to succeed in anything…you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it is ok to ask for help. Consequently, you learn the only thing you should fear in life is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR ITSELF! So you find a way to step right through your fears, because you realize that whatever happens you can handle it. For to give in to fear…is to give up the right to live on your terms.​

You learn to fight hard for your life and not to squander, living under a cloud of impending doom. You see life isn’t always fair; you don’t always get what you wish for and sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. It is during these moments that you learn not to personalize things. God isn’t punishing you, or failing to answer your prayers. It is life just happening! And you start to recognize evil in its most primal state; the ego…learning how to control it, instead of allowing it, to control you.​

You realize that negative feelings such as anger, envy, hate, resentment and sorrow, must all be understood and redirected…or they will suffocate the life out of you…and poison the universe which surrounds you. You learn to admit when you’re wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn about gratitude and to appreciate the comfort of simple things, which many take for granted….things that millions of people on Earth can only dream of: clean running water, a full refrigerator, a comfortable bed to sleep on, a hot shower on a cold day, clean clothes to wear…a place to call home.

Slowly, you start to take responsibility for yourself. You make yourself a promise to never betray yourself again by settling for less than. You hang a wind chime outside a window, so you could listen to the wind; as a gentle reminder to keep trusting, keep smiling…and you make it a point to stay open to every wonderful possibility.​

Finally…with courage in your heart and with God by your side…you take a stand. You take a deep breath…and you begin to design the life you want as best, as you can!​

By: Judith Espinosa © 1993 All Rights Reserved 

 

 

    26 replies to "The Awakening Poem"

    • Maribel

      That’s so beautiful!

    • ruth

      How I needed to read that today! Thank you. I printed it out so that everytime I feel fear I will reread it. I cried when I read that.

    • Jeffrey Murrah

      Doug,

      Well chosen piece

    • Last2know

      Thanks Doug, I love it. Since it will be 1yr since DDay for us this week I plan to print a copy for H.

      • Doug

        Last2know, You’re very welcome. Sorry to hear of our father’s death. It sure has been a tough year for you. You will be in our thoughts.

    • Last2know

      Jeffrey, Doug and Linda, I lost my father a week ago. I wonder how many different ways 1 heart can hurt. In the last ur from today back. I experienced betrayal and a pain that consumed every waking moment of my life (for many months). I had to euthanize my dog just two weeks after DDay. I lost a childhood friend and now my father. The pain was so strong each time yet so different. I know those have to come from the deepest part of my being, Christ in my heart. 51yrs and all those feelings in one year alone. I am certainly stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. It all still hurts but I am choosing to get up everyday. I just wanted to share and ask Jeffrey, how does the heart know where to hurt from?

    • Jeffrey Murrah

      Last2know,

      Talk about a triple-whammy! You have had loss on top of loss on top of loss. Having so many losses in such a short time makes it difficult to sort out where the pain is coming from. All the incidents carry the similar theme of lost relationships.

      When so many losses hit in a short span, the heart has a difficult time bouncing back before the next one hits. When faced with such situations, I often start with the biggest hurt and work from there. In many cases, once the biggest one is dealt with, the others often work themselves out. When you start with the easiest or smallest hurt, it will seem like you go from one hurt to another, to another, with each being larger than the last.

      Which one hurts the most? That is the place to start. The pain is telling you something.

    • maryanna1962

      Beautiful and inspirational

    • Starting Over

      This piece is exactly what I needed. It hits home on so many levels. I haven’t been around in a while, been busy forging a new path for myself. I hope that everyone has been well.
      I am doing so good, I am actually to the point where I can point out all of the things and the reasons that my life and relationship is better being apart. It really doens’t make me love him less. I honestly think that we were meant to love each other. But I know that I will never want to be married to him or be with him again. He will always be a friend, but never more. I can honestly say, that I am not “in love” with him anymore. And that just happened recently.
      September marks one year since this all really started with the sleepless nights and accusations. One year. And while I don’t believe myself to be COMPLETELY over the whole thing, I do know that it is right around the corner and someday my heart wont ache EVER. My worry right now is that it is turning that time of year again, time for old associations to crop up old feelings. I am already experiencing them and so I am trying to keep myself busy.
      I am sure it is time to start coming back so I will see you more often. Thanks again Doug and Linda, you are both inspirations to be able to let your pain help others!

      • Doug

        Starting Over, Good to hear from you. I was actually wondering aloud to Linda the other day about what was happening with you lately. I’m glad that you are doing well and that you are starting your new life on the right foot. I guess except for the nasty triggers that pop up. Like you mentioned…keep yourself busy and your mind occupied and they won’t be as harmful. Hope to hear more of your successes.

    • Last2know

      Doug/Linda, My one yr is this weekend. I am so nervous and I don’t know why. Things are 100% better. I guess this time holds deep hurt for me. I plan to do a reflection of this last year with H
      just to see how far we have come. In one of my other posts I spoke about my loses this past year.

      • Doug

        Last2know, even though things are so much better the year anniversary is still painful. I wasn’t too bad on our year anniversary it was the Christmas, Mother’s Day, our anniversary, my birthday, holidays that were so difficult for me because I knew that he was thinking or talking to her when his focus should have been with me. I looked at our year anniversary as a time when the power of the affair began to diminish, it was out in the open and we could begin to make some decisions about our marriage. You may of not realized it at the time but this was the date when you finally gained some power in your relationship and had the opportunity to make it the way it is today. Your year anniversary should be a triumph to you and your strength, think about how far you have come this last year and where you want to be a year from now. Celebrate the day, don’t let the affair take another day away from you. It’s just another day. Linda

    • last2know

      You are right about that. It is just another day. But I do want my H and I to share with each other how things have changed and what we have both learned from the first year. Do you think that part is okay to do? Jeffrey said to chose the loss that hurt me the most and work on that. I lost my Father, he was 89 and had Alheimers for 11 yrs, so I really lost him 11yrs ago, it is still painful but he is free now, My dog, he just loved me and he was very sick, my childhood friend she was very ill. None of these losses were out of a decision they made. They were part of “the cycle of life”. What my H did, well that has caused me more pain than anything else I have ever been through and I think he needs to know that. I think he believes that my father dying was so painful that it “trumps” what he did, not so. I never in my life would have thought that it would be like this. Thank you Linda, you are right where I need you-when I need you. All my Love L2K

    • Liz

      I can’t help but think will we make it a year? Some days I think we will but most days I don’t like him very much! I know I still love him but it will never be the same and it pisses me off. I am happy if I get through a whole day without being pissed! I do hope we make it through the next year but I have made no promises!

    • Gill

      I could do all those things for myself but what I want more than that is to do what is best for my child. I have risked my life for my child’s health, by donating one of my kidneys to him, and so I will do anything I need to if it means he grows up healthy, happy, well-balanced. My cheating husband doesn’t seem to see it that way. That is my grief, my anger, my tears. That is why I can only do so much for myself.

    • Linda

      I feel like I am going to explode. My heart cannot take this kind of betrayal. I am 2 years from DDay and it still just tanks me inside to think my husband was capable of this with someone who could be his daughter! We are still trying to work through it, but I struggle MUCH MUCH MUCH more than he does. He is genuinely sorry and just doesn’t know how to help me/us heal. I am not sure I can heal. I truly feel that I will die of a broken heart, and right now really don’t care if that day is tomorrow. I’m so tired of living with this anxiety and pain inside. It just won’t quit despite anxiety medication, anti-depressants, therapy, transcendental meditation, reading, journaling, etc. I have panic attacks still and also HPV thanks to the selfish bastard decisions of my husband. I want to move forward but seriously just don’t know how. There is such anger still inside me – how do I shake it. PLEASE HELP!!!

      • TheFirstWife

        I just passed 2 yrs from DDay 2. I understand where you are coming from.

        You are correct in that your H does not know how to help you. My H has been trying very hard but I recently went through a period where he coasted or appeared to be coasting. I was upset and angry w/ him that major trigger days went by recently w/out any acknowledgement such as the days he asked for a divorce from me.

        I felt like he was sweeping it under the rug. It made me soooo mad.

        In any event I started to spiral downhill (due to other things as well). It was a sad and lonely place.

        Until I realized I was letting Him define Me. My marriage is not about my existence or status. I had to separate the two. My relationship does not define my existence. I have many roles and they are ever changing. Kids will go to college soon and may never return.

        So I viewxmy marriage as one aspect. I believe if either of us are not happy then we should leave. Him or me.

        But take a step back. Can you understand what drove your H to cheat? Not in a blame yourself but what character flaw or justification allowed him to cheat?

        My H had a mid life crisis. Plain and simple. Hated his job, made less $, turning 50, etc. met some much younger woman in a bar and well the rest is history. Year long affair.

        His issues and his choices. Nothing to do with me. Never had anything to do with our marriage. It was his ego and justification. Plain & simple.

        Maybe taking a step back can help you understand the affair was not b/c of you it was in spite of you. He did not see what was the best thing right in front of him. Like George Bailey in its a wonderful life.

        Now I am sure your H sees all he had after he has destroyed things. But they can be repaired and restored and fixed and healed. But we all know it will never be the same. So sad.

        • Patientwife

          Firstwife- your story is my story.
          He is in midlife crisis.
          Just turned 50, afraid of mortality, OW could be his daughter, buying clothes and shopping to satisfy the addiction ghost. Recovering addict on top of it.
          I am in such devastation.
          Nothing was really wrong. except his own childhood trauma. I wonder where you’re at now. I’m 3 months from Dday and I thought we were progressing. Then he took a sudden angry turn and it feels like he’s leaving. I’m so devastated.

      • Pat

        Hi Linda! See my reply below in this post. Hope it helps!

      • Amy

        Dear Linda,
        I felt the same way for a long period of time. My biggest issue was trying to accept the man who totally disregarded the marriage and consequences of his actions on the family and me. The moment I realised I cannot make him change and stopped the expectation, things changed for me. I am not living with my husband anymore but we co -parent our kids amicably.
        I some how feel empowered and at peace to have taken that decision. Believe me , with no job in hand, in a foreign country and with two kids to take care it was really difficult to do but I needed to end the anxiety, pain and anger in me.
        It takes time and effort on your part to love yourself and be responsible for your own well being. What happened cannot be changed but be true to yourself of what you want now and take a decision. I hope you feel better soon. God bless you with peace.

    • Pat

      Linda, I am so sorry to hear of your pain and anger. I am 7 years out from finding out about the EA, and other significant major impact events which ocurred within months of the day I learned of the infidelity. I was a stay-at-home mom, with no family nearby. My world imploded…I very nearly had a nervous breakdown. The double betrayal component (she was my best friend 8 months prior) was awful. I was hanging by a thread. I dealt with major anxiety and my central nervous system was severely impacted. My body was in hyper-reponse mode all the time. When encountering stressful situations, bright lights, loud noises my body reacted as if I were being chased by a lion. I was very quick to anger. I would start to shake when I got overwhelmed or even thought about dealing with a difficult situation. (Which is ironic because I’ve always had a Type A personality.) It wasn’t until this past summer when, thru this site, I followed a link to a post that lead me to realize I had been suffering from PTSD for the past 7 years) I was finally able to heal. I started to move past the anger/anxiety and take control of my emotional health and well-being, along with my physical health. I changed my therapy approach to deal with the trauma, my diet to eliminate foods that caused an inflammation response/stomach upset. It wasn’t until I realized I had PTSD that I was able to truly heal. I thought I was crazy…prior to this…nothing worked! I mean, it had been 7 years, for crying out loud!!

      If you haven’t already purchased the Journey to Healing program available on this site, I urge you to consider it. Linda and Doug’s books enabled me to finally move past the fallout from the EA. Also, I love Louise Haye’s book “How to Heal Your Life” (Gift Edition with beautiful illustrations) and her Heal Your Body A-Z iphone app for affirmations on the fly. These books were life-changing for me.

      By choosing to take back my power, choosing happiness, choosing each day to do things that truly make me happy, radically changing my diet, choosing each and every thought that crossed my mind and pushing away the negative thoughts, and replacing them with positive affirmations, I was able to heal. By remaining angry, I realized I was giving away my power. I am much calmer now, I rarely shake. I can only control my own actions and reactions. I have learned to set boundaries and not be manipulated.

      I have chosen to stay with my spouse. He is, or was, anyway, very sorry. I’m not convinced it will be forever but for now, while my children need an intact family and I am doing well, it works for me. It was easier for my spouse to move past this. He’s still in denial that I have PTSD; he can’t face the fact that his actions cause it. But for me, I was finally able to get the right help I needed when I realized what I was dealing with. I wish someone had told me much sooner that I had PTSD so I could have gotten the help I so desparately needed years ago. I hope this helps you. I would’ve have never made the connection if I hadn’t found this emotional affair web site. Sending you light, love, and most importantly…peace.

      Doug and Linda, thank you…I love The Awakening. I keep a copy of it in my purse and it helps me.

      • Doug

        Yeah, I think that The Awakening is pretty inspiring. Thanks for sharing your story, Pat, It’s inspiring as well!

    • Rachel

      Great article! Happy New Year all!

    • Amy

      This was truely beautiful, motivating and absolutely true. When I said to myself enough is enough, I felt liberated. “Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. ” profound.

    • Sarah P.

      Wow, I am blown away!!

    • Martha1123

      So sorry you went through all that

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