In response to Linda’s post from yesterday, I’d like to say that looking back on things, there came a point when I realized that there were too many things that were so important to me that I was risking losing by my continuing to have a relationship with Tanya.
I guess the first and foremost was the thought of losing my family. My family means everything to me, and the thought of possibly losing them made me take a long hard look at what I was doing, and eventually motivated me to break things off with Tanya. Additionally, I felt immense guilt for the pain and suffering that I had caused to Linda. She did not deserve that, and it is something I still feel badly about to this day. So that was the start.
I made my decision to break things off and try to rebuild my relationship with Linda. At the time however, there was still the fact that I had lost some of that “in love” feeling with her. That gradually came back over time as we started to spend more time together doing fun things, talking and spending more “quality” time together. Basically we were doing the things we had done when we first started dating.
We placed more value on us then we did on things such as working in the yard, or cleaning the garage, or even doing things with the kids. During these times, we would talk a lot about what we wanted in a relationship and were completely open and honest with each other. We held hands. We cuddled. We laughed.
Our sex life also became much more satisfying as we both were able to express ourselves more openly and honestly in the bedroom too. This caused us to become even closer on an emotional level. Prior to that, we basically were just going through the motions not just in the bedroom, but in our relationship as well.
Eventually, I started to have those strong feelings of being in love with Linda again. It’s been like starting over again and it feels great. I can honestly say that Tanya is a distant memory, and that Linda truly does have my whole heart. As an added bonus, I truly cherish and enjoy not only her company but also those of my children much more than I did while I was “away.”
To sum it all up…my emotional infidelity with Tanya offered me many of the things that had been missing in Linda and my relationship over the past few years. It was exciting. It was fresh. It was fun. It made me feel good. By basically starting at square one with Linda, I (we) have been able to resuscitate our love life and now I feel all those things—and more–in my relationship with her. I wish I had been smart enough to think of doing these things in the first place!