The holidays can be a tough time for people who are trying to recover from an affair. The affair triggers can be overwhelming this time of year, especially if your spouse was involved in his/her affair while the holidays were going on in the past – or if he/she is still currently involved.
Even if the affair is “over,” the holidays often bring memories of what happened and suddenly you are re-experiencing the pain all over again.
Instead of looking forward to time together with friends and family as you always have, you worry and dread what this time together may bring. Instead of creating memories that last a lifetime, the holidays bring horrors you cannot forget. The fights, lies and deceptions turn each get together into a traumatic experience. You may find your hopes, dreams security and health crashing down around you.
Even if you are surrounded with loving family, enjoyable friends and good times, cheating turns it all into a nightmare for you and makes it even more difficult to recover from an affair.
You may still feel that you cannot trust yourself completely. The trust you had in your spouse has been shattered. You may feel that you cannot trust enough to share your plight with friends and family. The cheating turns everything it touches in your life to suspicion, hurt and blame. Basically, the affair is ruining a time that should be one of the most special times of the year.
Last year, we did a webinar with therapist Jeff Murrah that you might want to check out. We called it “Don’t Let the HO-HO-HO’s Ruin Your Holiday” and you can listen to it by clicking here. If you would rather read it, here is a transcript of the webinar that you can download.
In the webinar we talk about the following:
- 10 ways of telling if the cheater is lying
- 10 signs that an affair is still going on
- How to confront the affair
- What are the holiday high-risk factors and what you can do about them.
- What are “triggers” of past pain and what you can do about them
So take some time and either read the transcript or listen to this audio as it might give you some nuggets that will help you get through the holidays with your sanity and might provide you with some valuable thoughts to help you recover from an affair.
We’d also like to hear from any of you who have experienced the holidays during or after an affair and how you were able to cope and get through.