Well, it’s another Wednesday and we have what we think is a good topic for discussion.

Many of you have mentioned that getting your spouse to talk about their affair has been a challenge. We wanted to find out more about your motivations to talk about it, as well as what has worked for those of you that have been successful.

Here is the question for today:

What are/were the reasons for wanting to talk about the affair? If you have been successful in getting your spouse to talk, how did you do it? In other words, what was helpful in promoting effective conversation about the affair?

Please reply to each other in the comments. Each person leaving a comment is not an isolated incident. Also, don’t forget to utilize the forum!

Thanks again!

Doug & Linda

See also  Discussion: Negative Feelings Towards the Cheating Spouse

    3 replies to "Open Discussion: Talking About the Affair"

    • courtnee scott

      I’m very interested to hear some of the suggestions of others. My marriage (now divorced) and did suffer same sex infidelity. It was very difficult talking about the affairs…well, we never really did. I think it was kind of bypassed and we began counseling. I do not think I really had the courage or desire to hear. Moving forward I would love to know how this effective communication strengthens the marriage as we are strong enough to be vulnerable and address issues. I am a strong supporter for marriage. Thanks for the post!

      • Lili

        Hi Courtnee
        I think discussion/communication is one of the most important parts of healing from an affair. Whether your rship/marriage survives the affair or not, we need to release all the pent up feelings and emotions, otherwise I believe we will carry this in to our next rship.

        For me, I HAD to talk about things. I couldn’t contain all the feelings. I guess it is the nature of the person in the situation of being cheated upon. The depth of feeling that wells up is amazing.

        I’m sorry for you that your marriage didn’t survive it but I can assume your husband was gay and that’s really what stood in the way of you continuing your marriage, sorry if I’m getting that wrong.

        Great that you went the counselling route, but there are counsellsors and there are counsellors. My experience was very good, if not painful and heartbreaking many times, but I feel like a new person now a year after disclosure. Its the only thing that got both of us through.

        We are now better than when we first met! There is hope. I’m sure this is a wonderful website, it seems as if affairs are everywhere in the paper these days, at least there are people willing to help others to heal from the devastation that affairs cause.

        Warmest
        L x

    • Beckyb2

      Laura how do you know that I am not the wife who moved to another state because your adultering partner has been cruel mean and abusinve to me? How do you know that I’m not his wife and I do honestly hate your guts even if I’m not your adultering partners wife I still hate your lowdown cheating guts is that clear enough for you? If you falsely believe he doesn’t hate you for everything you are not and everything you are keep deluding yourself he hates everything he was with you and any thing you believed was good was horribly destructive to someone this man does love too bad you will never be what he loves

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