I don’t believe I have heard anyone here speak about his or her spouse having an online emotional affair. I’m curious if any of you have had that experience. I have many questions about it in my mind. I can see that it would be devastating.
Your spouse is more than likely still spending way too much time with the other person, but instead of in person, it’s online. Many people find it easier to express themself in writing than actually speaking to someone in person. Therefore, does the offender share even more of their personal and intimate information when communicating with the other person online?
Do people having virtual affairs also feel they have done nothing wrong? Not only because there is no sexual connection, but also they might have never met the other person. It always amazes me that they say they have done nothing wrong, but still go to great lengths to keep it secret…hmmm. That doesn’t compute with me (no pun intended).
How do they get to the point where they are so open and willing to open up their lives to a person they met online? How could they want to spend so much time with someone they have never actually met? I suppose the anonymity has a lot to do with it. In addition, how do they go about meeting these people? Is it on the online dating services? I suppose there are many avenues such as Facebook, LinkedIn, or MySpace. They might share an opinion on a forum and before they know it, they’re communicating on a regular basis. I don’t know.
I was on a couple of those dating sites a long time ago. I can’t imagine personally revealing myself with the men I talked to on there. However, that’s just me. I understand that many people meet and have happy lives together through dating sites.
Does an online emotional affair compare with an in-person one?
I can see how an emotional affair online and in person can be comparable. They’ve never slept together, but their emotional involvement can become all-consuming. I haven’t seen research that shows the exact rate of internet affairs; however, I hear it is now more commonplace than workplace affairs and increasing fast.
In my opinion, an emotional affair could be more devastating and harder to forgive than a physical affair. An emotional affair isn’t consummated and of course based more on emotions. I personally could get over my spouse having had sex with someone easier than if they were emotionally involved. It seems to me that would be a stronger bond between them. Hearts and feelings are involved. However, as I said, that is fortunately one type of infidelity I have never experienced. I’m only familiar with the physical affairs.
I’m just basing that on the fact that many men equate sex and love as the same. In my experience, if you’re not having sex with him, he thinks you must not love him. I can tell you that when my last husband called me a stupid bitch, it just wasn’t a big turn on for me. On the other hand, most women consider love and sex as two different things. Therefore, in a sexual affair, the wife might feel that the other woman only had sex with her husband, but she is the one that still has his love and emotions. Therefore, she might be more apt to forgive a physical affair easier than an emotional one.
What is your opinion of cybersex? If someone has cybersex with the other person, does he or she still feel there has been no wrongdoing? I would guess that many would convince themselves of that. People all think differently about everything. Unfortunately, we can’t jump into someone’s mind to try to understand. I guess anyone can convince himself or herself of anything if they want to badly enough.
I think I might be sounding bitter; however, since I haven’t had this experience, it wouldn’t be bitterness. When I seriously think about these things, I feel so badly for someone going through this hell. So, I think pissed would be a better description of my reaction to this strange new-age kind of infidelity. So what will they come up with next?
This has been me pretty much thinking aloud. I am curious about the difference between an in-person emotional affair and an online emotional affair. If this has happened to you and you feel like talking about it, I would love to listen.
Here’s to a happy and healthy 2013 everyone![wlsp_signup]