One of our readers who comments frequently on this blog really opened my eyes this week. I have been focusing on my own pain and healing from infidelity, yet I have been blind to how much Doug has grown in all this process. I felt that I owe him some recognition because he does get beat up by the questions on our web site, and then I continue to pound him about his answers after I get home. So I decided to write one of my now almost famous lists. So here is my “I am proud” list:
I am proud of my husband because he had the strength to pull away from the addiction of an affair and commit to saving his marriage and keeping our family intact.
I am proud of my husband because he had the decency to admit he made mistakes and the courage to make the changes that were needed to save our marriage.
I am proud of my husband because he has spent so much time and research developing this web site, and because of his hard work I have received the support of so many wonderful people and have the opportunity to help others as well. Healing from infidelity has been much easier as a result.
I am proud of my husband because he has grown these last six months. When I look at his earlier posts compared to the recent ones I realize how much soul searching and self exploration has occurred. It takes a special man to acknowledge that he is not perfect and has made mistakes in his life.
I am proud of my husband because he is the only person who could help me heal from all this pain and he stepped up to the challenge. He has always tried to be patient, caring and compassionate.
I am proud of my husband because even though his mind was somewhere else, he never forgot he was a father, and never relinquished his devotion to his children.
I am proud of my husband because he has tried so hard to make it up to me, knowing in his heart that he truly will never be able to do that, but it doesn’t keep him from trying.
I hope from this post that my husband will know how much I love and care for him. Our marriage has received a “wake up call.” Not the kind I asked for, but none the less one that has made our marriage everything I have ever wanted.
Healing from infidelity has been difficult, and at times I have been very angry and disappointed with Doug. But today I realized that there are so many qualities about him that I appreciate and admire, and even though our love lay dormant for a time, I feel that our love is stronger than it has ever been. I suppose I have the affair and our dedication to each other to thank for that.
“It is not the things we want and don’t get that are the source of our greatest tests and trials-it is the things we do get that we did not want and never expected.”
— Barbara DeAngelis author of “How Did I Get Here?”[wlsp_signup]