crazy thingsWhen on the emotional roller coaster that comes with infidelity, one can do some crazy things.  Not necessarily crazy bad – like firing a gun at the cheater – but more like crazy stupid or perhaps even crazy funny.

So let’s try to lighten things up just a bit this week and take a few minutes to share some of those crazy things you’ve done after the affair.

This certainly isn’t an attempt to make light of a very serious situation.  If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time we think you know that is not our style,  but sometimes a little humor can help an otherwise depressing and painful experience – if only for a short while.

Here are some of the things we’ve picked up from comments and/or emails as examples:

  • Leaving the water running for hours while in another room in the home
  • Leaving the door to the car open while shopping in a store
  • Slamming the cheater’s laptop on the driveway
  • Cutting up the cheater’s clothes that were purchased during the affair
  • Went to the OM’s office in the middle of the night and carved a massive A on his window
  • Cleaning the toilet with the cheater’s bath sponge and toothbrush
  • Super sleuth spying and detective work
  • Forgetting to pay bills

…Just to name a few

So…

What are some of the crazy things that you have done after the affair?

Is there anything that you did that you can now look back at and chuckle?

That’s it.

Please respond to each other in the comment section.

See also  How a Person Involved in an Emotional Affair Can Heal

Thanks, and take care!

Linda & Doug

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LINESPACE

    58 replies to "Discussion – The Crazy Things You’ve Done After the Affair"

    • Lynsey

      I was just thinking about this a few days ago and remembering some of that crazy stuff. At least three times, I started to back the car out of the garage without opening the door. (caught myself just in time!). I fell out of bed with a crash and gave myself black & blues all over. On a totally flat surface, I tripped & fell and knocked the breath out of me. Not remembering how I got to my destination while driving (scary!), putting things back in odd places like things in the freezer that shouldn’t be in there. Basically, I went through the motions of the day, but not remembering any of the process or even doing the tasks.

    • chiffchaff

      Cut up all his shirts (he’d become very obsessed with his image)
      Put his blackberry in water overnight
      Smashed his laptop when I found it had all the video clips he’d made of himself while on holiday with me to send to her
      Used his toothbrush to clean the dog’s teeth (many texts I’d seen between them bizarrely discussed them cleaning their teeth together in the hotel, or going to fetch a toothbrush) – he still doesn’t know about that but he has had several new brushes since then.
      Threw away all the rings I wore (and had made myself) on a walk.

      Blamed myself.

    • kelbelly

      Boy, in the earlier days, I couldn’t remember anything. Leaving food out that I took out of the fridge. Lost my keys more than usual. Almost fed my horses chicken food. I think the worst thing I did was drink so I could cope and forgot one day that I had to pick my son up after drinking way too much. Thank God for good friends. I pulled myself together after that.

    • forcryinoutloud

      Forgetfulness, drank too much (but only after 5pm – like that’s a good rule), took walks and drives alone for hours, threw a full glass of tea against the wall that went everywhere…twice, ran on the treadmill like I was being chased by the devil – pun intended, screamed @ my H in front of the neighbors kid – didn’t know the kid was out there until I saw her streak across the yard to go inside, shredded and I mean shredded with my bare hands every article my husband had kept from high school and the OW. Our garage looked like the Super Bowl after party. My H cleaned it all up. The next day I poured gas on the “trash”, stirred it all up dumped it in the outside fire-pit and watched it go up in flames…very cleansing that was.

    • gizfield

      I think this is a pretty funny story. We have my husband’s girl friend’s DOG!!! Lol. How did that happen you ask? One day a couple of years ago my husband called me at work, and said he’d done something stupid, I’d probably be mad, but he’d gotten a dog. I immediately thought it had something to do with that skank but couldn’t prove it. it was only like 10 a.m. so he must have gotten it right after I left for work.

      Later on a found an email from her about the dog. Found out it’s original name, they had changed it at the pound where she had taken it. I got so pissed, took the dog collar off and let it out of the fence so it would leave but of course it did not.

    • gizfield

      It’s funny cause my husband had a dog when I met him, but she disappeared one day. Every time I had thought something was weird I found a connection to Thing,Later on, lol. This was no exception. When I had my text confrontation I told her she could take her dog back, lol. When I threw him out in October I told him he needed to take the dog. He didnt but during this time I called the dog by his girlfriend’s name, and her nickname. That was really fun. I have a cat. She is fluffy and blonde, almost the same color as my hair. The dog hates her, lol. She is a black labrador and very fat. When she sees the cat, she makes weird noises and flings herself on the door. The cat totally ignores her. It is like a metaphor for our relationship. I think that is the right term. I’m the pretty, fluffy blonde cat in the house, while she is the dog, outside wanting in, lol.

    • Exercise grace

      I bagged up every last stitch of clothing he owned. Socks, underwear, jeans, dress clothes, winter jacket, ALL of it. I gave it away. I wanted nothing that had ever touched her or that had been taken off of his body by her, or that had touched his body after sex with that parasite. To be fair, I replaced the basics: a few outfits, anyway. His wardrobe is soooo much smaller today, lol.

    • gizfield

      Wow you ladies were pissed! I didnt destroy any of my husband’s property. I know my first husband did that to me so I had bad associations of it. . He also swears this crap never got physical and for some odd reason I kind of believe him. I do know I never found any evidence of it.

      • exercisegrace

        Pissed? Doesn’t even BEGIN to cover it. He had sex with her in our house, in our BED. Donating his clothes was MILD, LOL.

    • gizfield

      I do think I have a kind of battle coming up. We have not been on a family vacation since May 2009. This is due to family situations, finances, work. And honestly, I have just not wanted to go. About a month after our last vacation was when he told me he wanted a divorce, he was “in love with someone else..” Ughhhh . We go to a small town on the Florida gulf coast. Stayed there when we got married, then again in May 2008 and May 2009. Since I know he was hot and heavy with his road whore last time we there I dont ever want to set foot there again. I didnt find any evidence of him calling / texting/ emailing her while we were there. I do remember him wanting to go back to the room sometimes when we were at the beach, or staying in to watch tv, or nap, or whatever while my girl and I went shopping or me taking our daughter to the swings, or shell hunting or whatever five year old girls want to do. The whole entire place is just TAINTED to me. Ruined, cause he had to pursue a tramp while I say home watching our child. I’m telling him I’m not going back there Ever. We can find a new place, stay home or he can go there by himself. :~( Does this sound unreasonable to anyone?

      • exercisegrace

        Not unreasonable at ALL. It’s time for a fresh start and a new vacation place to make some new memories. That’s how I would look at it. My husband traveled for business with his slut to a city we previously lived in. Stayed in our favorite hotel, drove around to favorite places, etc etc. RUINED this place for me. I will never go back there again. It makes him sad now that it is one more thing he took away from me/us.

    • Gizfield

      Thank you, exercise grace. I know what you mean. I livein a touristy city. Last weekend my brother in law was on town with his new girlfriend and stayed at a popular hotel. Just happened to be one my h invited his gf to go to. Not for sex, but to walk around, eat, shop. I’ve been going to this place ,30 years, before him, with him, and with our family. He made some of the same comments that night that he made to the slut on his email ( this reminds me of New Orleans, blah blah, blah) and it really pissed me off. I dont even know of they ever went there together, but even thinking they might made me mad, lol.

      • exercisegrace

        It never ceases to amaze me how far-reaching the impact really is. So many things broken, damaged, and stolen. I love the beach, we lived within five minutes of one for years. But the last time he was at a beach was with his whore. As much as I miss the beach, I KNOW I will have a hard time fighting off those thoughts next time we go. And that is CRAZY. I KNOW it is. I should not let her rob me of a favorite experience. I really shouldn’t even let her rob me of MY beach, where we had years of happy memories, just because they stayed there a few times on business.

    • Tryinghard

      Ok this is funny and fun

      I threw all his clothes and shoes and boots on the driveway and wet them down with the hose. It was Sunday morning and we live on a a golf course. My niece and sister came over because they found out the night before when I had taken 4 Xanax and 2 ambien I went down to the OW house and kicked the door in. When the police came I was getting in my car and the asked what I was doing there. I said I was there to see my friend xxxx but she wasn’t there so I was going home. They asked if I had a sledgehammer because the neighbors said someone was outside withe a sledge hammer. I laughed and said no. The let me leave without even looking at my license So I drove off with a mallet sitting on the floor board of my car and went straight to my husbands business where I smashed 4 windows with said mallet hoping to set off the burglar alarm which did not happen. I would have had to crawl thru the window to do that. Anyway early that Sunday morning I laid in wait across the street waiting for him to show up. When he did I went in the office there was glass every where. When he screamed did you do this you crazy bitch I went crazy Broke pictures, computers, filing cabinets, her work area etc. then I went home and did the clothes in the driveway. He had to come and get them and take them to his sisters basement. Ruined many good shoes by filling them up with water.

      I do not regret one thing I did. Don’t judge me. Bwahahahaha

    • Tryinghard

      I forgot when my sister and niece came over they were laughing but said now you know you aren’t helping things to which I replyed it’s not gasoline it’s only water! Oh and when he moved back I threw all his boxers out. I’m sure there’s more but I will have to think.

    • Gizfield

      Oh, I’m definitely not judging you, Trying hard. Jealous, maybe, but not judgmental, lol. I have an extremely nasty temper. I’m just surprised someone did not end up in jail or the hospital, especially since my husband’s tramp had a particularly vile attitude.

      • Tryinghard

        Giz
        I think she figured out I am no one to mess with. I also went to the office and had a huge nasty confrontation with her. She figured out then I was going to fight for what was mine. Maybe that’s why she’s stayed away. I also turned her in to unemployment and she had to pay back $10,000 in illegally received benefits. If she applies for a job she has to get a reference from me. ULK. When I was hosing down his clothes and shoes there were golfer s going by wondering what was going on They kept driving by in their carts and I would wave and water!

    • chiffchaff

      I briefly discussed this article last night with my H as we both went into his ‘book room’ (a v small room in our house where he keeps books & junk) and I mentioned that I still hated going in there. He used to hide things in there and during the crazy days I spent literally hours sifting through the crap trying to find evidence, which I did. I mentioned last night that I’d found a gift bag containing 3 little ‘I Love You’ tag things and had never known if they were meant for me or the OW. My H said that he probably had no idea who they were for at the time either as he had no idea what he was thinking back then. We had a little bit of a laugh about it, not a huge laugh, but it felt like a v good milestone in our recovery. I fessed up about the toothbrush too.

    • Cindy

      I drank, a lot. Never was a big drinker but started drinking vodka and water. I know it sounds ridiculous but being drunk was the only way I could numb the pain. I thought I was going insane. I couldn’t eat or sleep. Constantly wondering where he was or what he was doing. Then I decided to become proactive. I went to a spy store and bought a GPS unit that had a battery that lasted a month and hid it in his car. Took about a week and I was at bowling I checked the GPS and he was at a bar. I was in middle of game, told the girls I had to leave, packed up my ball and shoes and went to the bar and caught him red handed. Told him my girlfriends son worked there. He told me he was meeting her one last time to break it off. Haha. About a week later my 20 yr old daughter was having minor surgery an I was at the hospital while she was getting prepped and dear hubby wasn’t there. Looked up the GPS coordinates and saw he was at Tim hortons. I actually left my daughter at the hospital Alone and flew down to Tim hortons and caught them again. I created a scene and called her a whore. I still can’t believe I left my own daughter. Crazy!!! I called her after that and pretended I wanted to talk to her about my cheating ass husband and she agreed to meet me. I acted like her and I had a rotten man between us and took her side. Acted like her best friend. She told me everything. Places they went, how long it was going on etc. even gave me the things he bought her (jewelry and perfume). Went home that night with the bracelet on that he bought her and told him ” look what I bought”. Isn’t it pretty?” Lol. His face turned chalky white. The gig was up! He actually has the balls to be mad at me!!! We had a huge blow out that night and then be was mad at her for telling. Omg. He didn’t know which way was up. After he found out about GPS, computer tracker (websites) and our meeting he thought I was certifiably nuts! It’s been 18 months and every once in a while he still brings it up and how he can’t believe I did what I did. Btw. Things are pretty good now

      • tryinghard

        Cindy
        The GPS is a wonderful thing. Say what you want about going to extremes but we have to know what we are dealing with and these devices definitely give us an advantage. We already know about the “fog” and their superb ability to be deceitful and actually if we want to be informed and level the playing field this is what we have to have and you are silly to not think so. I’ve also used a key logger on his computer. I found nothing there. While my GPS is accurate the batteries only last about a week and I have to download the data to my computer. May I ask which one you bought? I don’t use mine very often anymore but sometimes I like to check. Actually he has been very honest about where he has been and the GPS verifies that. He doesn’t know I still use it but he knows I have used it and have caught him in lies by using it. I believe by him knowing I have this device I am sending a message that I am not going to put up with any dishonesty and that it is HIS behavior that begged the use of this device. Being silly and putting our heads in the proverbial sand has done us NO GOOD. Sometimes one has to fight fire with fire. I don’t see this as controlling anyone’s behavior. If he wants to go see her go ahead but this time I will know and he can do it without me from now on!

        I wanted to drink but didn’t. I was afraid of what I would do if I did given what I did when I used too many prescribed drugs to deal with my anxiety. I needed to have my senses to make good decisions and of course to do my spy work 🙂 I hope you are no longer having to deal with the alcohol but I certainly empathize with the use of it during that time. It sounds like you H has gotten the message that you mean business too. Rock on Cindy!

        • exercisegrace

          My husband actually offered to put a GPS on his car and while I appreciated the gesture, it really doesn’t tell you what you think it does. His first two encounters with his parasite were at her place. The GPS would have reflected that his car was at work (which is right where he left it). Exactly where it should have been at that time of day. The rest of the affair occurred in MY HOUSE. Parasites deliver…..who knew? So while I was away at a school or sports event out of town with my kids, again his GPS would have shown him to be “safely” at home.

          • tryinghard

            LOL EG, They do deliver! Yeah well I guess if it’s in your own home your would have to install Nanny Cameras! OMG your own home. I’m sorry he would get a beatin down on that one!!! That’s pretty low. ULK how can they be such stupid jerks?? So if you can’t go to the beach because they were there once how on earth do you live in the same house where the shit went down? I’m so crazy I think I’d probably burn the house down or at least the bed!!! Surly he’s not that stupid to do that again. I’m just saying a GPS shows you a pattern as well. It was curious to me the route my H took to work and I figure out that was when he did his thinking, drank his coke and had a smoke. It was his daily routine/ritual that I never realized he had or needed. The GPS has done more for me than an “ah ha I caught you!” You can really learn a lot from it.

            • exercisegrace

              I can’t express to you how hard it is. I told him that bed had better be gone before the end of the day or I would drag it out in the yard and burn it. It was an expensive set too. I was enraged he could have us both in the same bed. I could vomit just thinking about it. I never got the opportunity to tell her off, as she left the business, lawyered up, and determined to try and ruin our lives. In the end we all signed a nondisclosure form ( I even checked with our attorney about posting anonymously on these support boards, its ok with no identifying info). My only, ONLY satisfaction is that she asked him at one point if she should be afraid of me. He said only if I caught them, LOL. Darn straight.

            • Strengthrequired

              Eg, unbelievable. I wouldn’t want the bed or the house. Is there nothing sacred.
              I hated living in my house after I found out about the ea. MIT wasn’t home anymore, even though nothing happened there. I head the area I lived and needed to get away. I looked at it in a way as a fresh start in a new area.
              My h did give her some of our furniture, so I had to rub it in to her and tell her to enjoy the bed because my h and I had a wonderful time in there. I told her enjoy my used things, even my lounge suite, I told her how we enjoyed that too.

            • tryinghard

              EG
              ULK. I am so sorry. It’s bad enough let alone in your own home and bed. I asked my H if they ever had sex in the office and he said no. I think it was a lie but in a way I’m glad he said no. Being here everyday knowing for sure that they did would be impossible for me. I would have to ask where and then who knows what I would do. I already think it and that is bad enough. My H says she’s afraid of me too. I believe that was her last attempt to play the victim in all this. You know “poor little old me, your crazy wife wants to hurt me”. He said probably so, maybe that’s why she hasn’t sent anything or contacted me or him with the exception of a couple stupid things sent in the mail anomalously. OK well I did threaten to throw acid in her face to him!!! Wouldn’t even know what kind or where to get it, but it was fun fantasizing about it 🙂

    • livingonafence

      I keyed the word “WHORE” into his car, ended up getting him tossed in jail for a weekend, threw countless heavy objects at him, punched him in the face several times, threw his sneakers that I ordered for him while he was cheating in the cat litter box and used the scoop to fill them with clumpy cat litter, locked him out of the house, etc.

      I’m not proud of any of it. I should have just left him.

      • tryinghard

        OOOO kitty litter!!! Good thing I didn’t have a cat on that crazy morning cause I would have filled the shoes with kitty litter AND water! I think the stint in jail was a nice touch.

    • battleborn

      Boy LOAF. I would hate to make you my enemy! LOL

    • Gizfield

      My husband offered to put a gps on his phone. Actually, it’s not real useful if they know it’s there. Plus he is a salesperson, he is all over the place all day while I am stuck in an office . I think I will take him up on it as a safety issue, esp since he is out late at night when he plays music.

    • Gizfield

      Ladies, I dont think any thing I’ve read that you did was out of line. You were provoked no one world have done those things unless the husband was out “creeping” around. My only real regret was that I let a skank sneak aroundWith my husband and did nothing!! Ewwwww. I’ve told him if I catch him sneaking around with this road whore or anyone else behind my back this is how it will go: 1. He is evicted from the house and I file for divorce. 2. I will contact the person and cuss them, or beat their ass, or whatever seems appropriate at the time. Lol. 3. I will expose bothof them for their creepy ass behavior to everyone they know. There will be no more negotiation on this crap.

    • Gizfield

      LOAF, how did you get him tossed in jail ? Like somebody said I wouldn’t want to piss ya’ll off. Or Chiff chaff, although I dont know if I would have told him about the toothbrush in case he decided to retaliate, lol. I think if these cows had to worry about his wife showing up, they might reconsider. I read an article somewhere not to contact the other woman cause you might not like what she has to say. WTH. I’m not asking her anything, I’m telling her stuff. Like get the hell away from my husband, lol.

      • livingonafence

        long story. this was actually the event that made me stop & realize that I was letting this mess control me. I wouldn’t contact her. Even if you’re the one saying things, she’s going to respond and you will hear it. Plus, wasn’t the A over long ago? I’d let it go. She isn’t bothering you right now, right? Besides, regardless of her reaction, you contacting her now, after all this time, is telling her that she is STILL a factor in your lives. Let her think she was forgotten about as quickly as she would be by a decent person without an ax to grind – in seconds.

        • tryinghard

          LOTF
          Intellectually I get this and you are so right and Eyes Opened said the same thing. All the other boards and support sights say don’t contact the other woman because she will say things you don’t want to hear. I don’t really want a face to face confrontation. I’ve seen her at her other job and to tell you the truth I was pretty shook up and I didn’t even acknowledge her. I did relish the fact that I could “strut my stufff” in front of her and that she looked like ten miles of bad road 🙂 All that said I still have the nagging need to send her a letter, email etc telling her off. It doesn’t come as often as it used to so maybe I am in the acceptance phase of this whole mess. I’ve never regretted anything I’ve said or done, I’ve only regretted the things I haven’t said or done so I hope later down the road I don’t regret that I never gave her a piece of my mind. I know if I were in her shoes I wouldn’t want to hear from me!!! So this is where I am right now and I keep telling myself that if I were my friend I would tell me not to contact her and let sleeping dogs lie. I really appreciate it and I listen when all of you share the good advice and this is good advice. The last thing I want to do is give her more power. I know in fact she thinks very highly of herself and she would get a real ego boost knowing that she got to me and still is. Thanks for being smart and I am with you in your previous posts. He pulls anymore crap there will be NO drama. I will leave and never look back—PERIOD!

    • onmyway

      I’m laughing right now! Your stories are great 🙂 I found out about the affair months after it had ended but I have often wondered what I would have done if I had been the one to have caught him as opposed to being told by the husband of the witch. My reaction was bad enough as it is! I will never, ever eat at an El Torito again since they went there several times. I still get anxious just driving by one no matter that it isn’t the one they went to. And like you, Gizfeld, our one and only ‘vacation’ spot has been tainted as he was in the midst of the affair the last time we went. Not sure how I am going to swing never going there again as it is a pretty popular area for us to go with friends. i’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Just recently we attended a concert and it was in the same complex as a sporting event he took the witch to. I almost threw up as we approached the venue. I decided to not give those memories the power to ruin a great evening but still, it was in the back of my mind the entire time.

      Honestly, sometimes I feel as if I missed out. By being the last to know it was if any power I may have had was taken away. All i could do was cry and scream at him and I spent months tracking every bit of data available to me from the affair period and of course after DDay to see if he was telling the truth about no contact. I did manage to break the online password for one of the secret cell phones I found and those records caught him in a lie. Banking transactions that caught him in several others. Looked into tracking devices but was to ignorant to know how to use them. I think the people who work at my local Radio Shack and Sprint stores think I’m a nut because I took both secret cell phones into them asking to have the data downloaded under he guise of needing it for a lawsuit (unsuccessful!). I did smash a pair of sunglasses that I thought she had given him but hadn’t. Big woop, lol!
      Looking back I was too nice. Way too nice. I was completely in shock. I was even nice to the witch the one time I called her. I am not totally unhappy that I handled things the way I have. I didn’t want our daughter, neighbors, family to know and they still don’t. If I had gone ape shit that wouldn’t be the case and I may have regretted it. But still, part of me wishes I had the balls to have done some of the things many of you did!

    • forcryinoutloud

      Fellow beautiful ladies here’s a toast to y’all. Very entertaining stories!!!!!

      Here’s a ridiculous note to my post: I described to my husband in gory detail how I was going to go have wild sex with an ex BF (he had always been jealous of) and video call him while it was happening. The joy I got out of seeing his face drain of color and look like he would vomit was a brief but glorious moment of satisfaction.

      LOAF – you go girl! I did my fair share of “physical activities.” Thanks for being braver than me to put it out there.

      Giz , I agree with your 3 step plan if a slip happens. If the SOB wants to go down that path again my educated arse will go a full season of Jerry Springer instead of a few episodes. As my sister and I say long live TOWANDA! (From the movie fried green tomatoes)

      • forcryinoutloud

        Know that I read that…If he messed up again I think I would just walk out. It “ain’t” worth it.

        • tryinghard

          AGREE

      • Gizfield

        I loved Fried Green Tomatoes! I have the cookbook based in the movie and it is great !!!!

    • Strengthrequired

      Fcol – we can only be thick skinned for so long. I just don’t think I could handle another betrayal from my h.
      Here is one for you ladies.
      My h went out one night, it got to about 7am in the morning and I thought t myself, since he wasn’t answering my calls. Ok I’m going to see if he is at her place.
      Sure enough he was. She is living in apartments. I got out, rung the buzzer, someone answered and I said
      “you disgusting “w…..ebag, get my h down here now, you have no idea what you have done, get my h down here now”
      This lady was half a sleep. I stood back waiting.
      Next thing my h came out, just a coincedance because I had rung the wrong buzzer. Lol.
      Yet my h was shocked to say the least, almost left his sorry ass that day too.
      I couldn’t believe I pressed the wrong buzzer. I would have loved calling her that, yet at least I was able to embarrass them at the park one day, another time I almost left. At least she could see that he ran after me to stop me from leaving him, ditching her in the park on her own. Having everyone in the park gobsmacked.
      Yet thinking back, there are so many things I wish I had said and done and didn’t.

    • Cindy

      Omg. So funny. I told my husband I wanted to blow up her house and he told her. She is afraid of me as well. She told her friends that she fears for her life and the lives of her children. So dramatic. Lol. I’m a Middle aged housewife that can’t use the tv remote. How the hell would I build a bomb. Hahahahhahahah

    • Gizfield

      I don’t plan on contacting this chick again unless necessary. I dont believe that either contacting them or not contacting gives them power. It probably had to do with your own expectations. I wasn’t wanting any details from this broad about my husband or an apology. I wanted her to know I was pissed off. I dont think thats a bad thing. If you are normal, you are pissed off and hurt if your spouse is cheating on you. how does that give them any power over you? Is it better to give a message that you dont care and wont take any action. Confronting her was the moment that any kind of illusion of “jealousy” disappeared. She confirmed that she was just as pathetic and stupid as I thought she was the only two times I met her. Not exactly the hot commodity she thinks herself to be. She made threats against me, then changed her phone number. Mine is still the same, lol. I still get a good laugh out of some of the things she said . Truly stupid. I saved all those texts as well as any emails I found between them. If she ever comes sniffing around any mutual friends husband I will make damn sure they know what a back stabbing road whore she is. It was priceless sitting there on my bed texting this chick in the middle of the night with my husband looking on helplessly, like the pathetic loser he was when he was associated with this tramp. Ewwwww, yuck.

    • natbar0

      I sent her a facebook message outing that i knew about it all – they had bonded over her having had a broken leg and I told her if she goes near my husband again she better hang onto the number for her physio. She responded once apologising and saying she had no “sexual feelings for my husband” they were just mates……and that she hoped our marraige didnt end over her. oh yeah right all mates send 2000 messages a day have romantic birthday meals and are bought jewellery….

      We were at a wedding a few months after I found out and husband was still in “the fog” I chucked a full pint of beer over him in front of all our friends and outed him.

      I also used to work at her company and let everyone who works with her know all about it too so it made life pretty difficult for her there.

      To date a year on and Ive never met her – prob a good thing as my temper was raging and I think I would have ended up in prison!

      Still really gets to me that someone would go hell bent to ruin my life like that, I was totally trusting and hubby had plenty of his own space. NOT ANYMORE!!!

    • Teresa

      Man, after reading all of your “stories”, especially LOAF’s, lol, what I did is pretty mild in comparison.
      I created a false FB page, pretending to be a 20 yr old college student and friended her 20 yr daughter…who is clueless that her mother is a lying piece of trash!
      Anyway, I was able to access the COWs FB page, via the daughters, and took EXTREME delight in showing my H ALL her ugly butt pictures.!
      Man, I’m seriously telling you, seeing his face when I showed him those pics was priceless!! I STILL giggle over it!!
      Of course she had NEVER sent those pics to my H!! She only sent pics from the neck up….and now we BOTH know why, LOL!!! Can you say FAT???? Thighs like hamhocks…LARGE hamhocks! But he’s seen them now, yes he has!! LOL!!
      I’ve sent the pics to a few friends who know about the EA and they are appalled at how much my H “affaired down”!
      I stayed “friends” with the daughter for exactly four months, because the EA was four months long!
      My reasoning? She was a part of MY life for four months, knowing what was going on in MY life, unbeknownst to me….so I feel it was only fair that I was a part of HER life, watching and reading what she was doing…unbeknownst to HER!!
      It felt like revenge, on a smaller scale….and to be honest, it makes me smile to think that she had NO idea that I was “watching”!
      The very last picture she posted, before I deleted the account…she was at the park with her young son…and honestly, I thought a lion had escaped!
      Her hair was a frizzy halo around her head, seriously, a round, frizzy halo of hair….I was able to see from an earlier pic, posted during the EA, where she was trying to grow that mess out!!
      I can only think it was because I have long red hair, and my H loves it…and he told her I keep it long to please him! So she wanted her hair long also! The pic was horrendous, her 10 yr old son couldn’t even wrap his arms around her waist, she’s that big…So yea, took great pleasure in showing THAT pic to my H!! LOL!!!
      I saved a few of the pics….and every now and then, when I get in an ornery mood…Hey, it happens 😉 I show those pics to my H and say “I cannot believe you were acting like a fool with this ugly thing”…..my H just shakes his head and tells me it’s the stupidest thing he’s ever done! And I ALWAYS agree!!

    • bellabby

      So glad to hear I wasn’t the only lunatic out there. I really thought I had lost my mind, trying to look up info on them through those sites that supposedly tell you everything about a person. (he had 2 EAs at the same time, and they were best friends!). After spending too much money on those sites I only found out where they lived and maybe a phone number, which I didn’t need since those number were all over our cell phone bills. I looked up each month, as far back as Verizon keeps your bill on line. I counted and plotted out every phone call he made to them, who initiated the calls, where he or they were when the calls were made, how long he spoke to them, what days he spoke to them. He called them BOTH on Valentines day the year he gave me a gold plated rose. Of course my favorite flowers are daisies which he should know since they were our wedding flowers. The stupid rose was not cheap either. After I found out about the EAs, I told him I would never put that rose out. I don’t know why I didn’t smash it to pieces..
      I also found out he actually called them both on Mother’s Day! When I asked him about that a few months after D day and he was still lying about his relationship with them, he said they were mother’s so he called them to be nice! UGGHH!! He could have at least come up with a better excuse than that ridiculous statement.
      AS you can well imagine, most of my time was spent obsessing about this stuff for at least the first 2-3 months after I found out.
      I also packed up all his clothes in large green garbage bags and threw them out on the lawn. I had told him I didn’t want him coming into the house when I was not home. What really pissed him off was when I changed the locks on all the doors! I got a lot of very nasty threatening messages after that.
      I did call one of the the OWs when she continued to call him. It was about 1AM and I started screaming at her and calling her names. She sent him an email (I had hacked into his email account) telling him that if I ever did that again she wouldn’t be so nice the next time and I would be in trouble with the law! And he emailed her back apologizing for ME saying she didn’t deserve that bull s–t! That comment really pushed me over the edge. Those were the days when my rage was so out of control I really was afraid of what I was capable of doing. I’m so relieved to find out that I’m not the only one with those same thoughts!

      • Tryinghard

        Bell I changed the locks the first week. He left the home. And my lawyer put a restraint order against him entering our home because it was considered he deserted me. Yes it is a huge waste of time contacting the others in this mess. It’s taken me two years to figure that out. I still don’t regret anything I did. Call me stupid!!!

    • Gizfield

      Doesn’t it make you sick, Kelbelly, ho Special these bitches think they are? I would have probably said Yeah, I’ll probably be in trouble with the law cause I’m gonna kick your ass, lol. After I confronted my husband’s Turd she changed her phone number and hid out like the little bottomfeeder she is. She doesn’t even have a profile picture on facebook. Lol.

      • Tryinghard

        Giz
        The white trash put on her privacy settings on her FB account so she can’t be searched on FB . Stupid her doesn’t know she can be searched on google by her name and email addresses. She is “friends” with a couple friends of mine so I make sure I post to their page all the wonderful things going on in my life. I poke my finger in her eye every chance I get but nothing illegal or vindictive. Yes she hides in the shadows and I’ve heard she’s scared of me.. I say good she better be. The are turds not worth even considering. We are way better than them. If he still wants her I say go for it. I wouldn’t even say good bye this time. He would just have all his shit on the driveway again!

    • Gizfield

      Trying hard , it’s funny you mention the white trash thing cause that is exactly what she is. I have a lot of knowledge of their ways because my first “true love” and Affair partner from 20 years so was a primary example. This guy was as elusive and secretive as a secret agent. When we broke up, which we did a lot, I never even knew where he was, lol. Probably part of the appeal, lol. We met right before my 15th birthday, he was 17 and a dropout. Had a job cleaning streets for the city. We dated off and on from the time I was 16 til probably 20. I knew where his parents lived and when they moved the entire family dropped off the planet. We lost contact about 10 years , he called me and my mother’s house, and we snuck around a while, not even sure how long. Then he disappeared totally. We are talking no records anywhere, I guess they have unlisted phones and are renters. It’s funny cause I would accidentally cross paths with him occasionally. A few years ago, the girl in front of me at work was talking to one of her family members about her aunt, and I realized they were talking about his mother. They all had really weird first names. My coworker turned out to be his first cousin. His mother died about a year ago, and I confessed to my friend I dated him and that I also cheated on my first husbandwith him. I actually saw a photo of him on his sister’s facebook page. I told my best friend and we both had a good session of What the hell were you thinking? But my husband’s Turd is the same way. Very elusive. I have never even seen a photo of her.

    • Tryinghard

      Giz
      Yes they are elusive like the bottom feeders they are. We all know people like this. Try googling her names and email address if you have it. I found the OW photo from my space on line by googling her email address. This ones a bar tending, newspaper delivering beer drinking goat roper. Hey good going husband who likes to associate himself with the country club crowd. I must really suck for him to want to be with her. ULK …..

      • Tryinghard

        Oh yeah I forgot. She goes to beauty schools to get her hair done. Bwahahahaha

      • Strengthrequired

        I often think how sucky I was for my h to turn to cousin it.
        Yet you know we aren’t the ones that suck. They wouldn’t have been with us for so long if we did. Have you ever wondered why they weren’t with the ow all those years ago and stayed with them? They simply put it, weren’t what they wanted for a life partner.
        So they waited until they had to scrape off the ground in dirt before these ow were able to surface.
        I would much prefer to be where I am situated, a life time partner for my h, then being scraped off the ground.
        Our husbands hit rock bottom, ” so they thought”. What was close to their level at that time? The ow, trying to feed off our h, what was left of him.
        Once our h is rising from the ground in dirt, getting back to our level, the sun starts shining. They begin to realize what they have in us. Our husbands let their standards drop, because they dropped.
        We have all seen it, they turned not only away from us, they turned their children away, I know my h wouldn’t have done that unless he was scraping the ground at an all time low.
        I had it thrown in my face when he was low, being directed by cousin it, that I was a shit mother, as well as wife. Well I must be horrible then for not deserting my children like she had my h do. She didn’t have trouble leaving her children to go out on dates with my h every single night. Including them in on her sick ploy to destroy my marriage.
        As we know the ow can do no wrong, in the face of our h.

    • Creston

      So amazing to find this site and realize I’m not alone and that others have had the same extreme emotional reactions as I do. So tired of being a private investigator of my own life. Ordering text logs, checking phone logs, always wondering when an emotion will be triggered by restaurant, vacation pic, or just a random memory that floods my mind. It been 2 1/2 yrs since last contact. Bottom line..it stopped because I accidently read a text…she was in his phone as a male,,,with same initials, and the text just didn’t seen like it was from a guy. I called the number and knew who she was immediately…old “friend” from high school that we both knew and I despised even then! I believe it was emotional only..but also believe thats the worst kind!

      I was able to survive and start to trust again through couseling, prayers, good friends I trusted with my story…and a GPS that I could check on my phone for peace of mind that he was where he said he was. It would actually alert me by email if he ever went to any place that I has set-up to send alerts..ie. restaurants, her house (even just a drive by)..and thankfully there has not been any evidence at all that he’s seen or talked to her. And yes, I even drive by to be sure.

      Ten years ago I would never have thought I would have stayed in muy marriage after discovering a 2 year emotional affair, but here I am! Things are pretty good, even happy most of the time, but it has changed me and my ability to trust wholeheartedly.

      • Tryinghard

        Crest
        What GPS model did you use? I had one that the data had to be downloaded and ate up batteries. I should own stock in Everready battery.

    • Strengthrequired

      Glad you found us creston, I’m glad you have been able to move forward with your marriage, I don’t thunk that 2 yrs is far enough from the ea, to warrant full trust with your whole heart, it may take a while longer before you can feel safe and secure and to be able completely trust your h won’t hurt you again. After all we were hurt badly, and we need it made up to us, we had our lives turned upside down, had our health and our emotions pushed ti the limit for ow, who made us sound like we were the ones that were trash.
      Time is what is needed here, as well as a h that is willing to prove himself to earn trust back.

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