It’s discussion Wednesday again.
Initially after the affair, it will be extremely difficult for you as the betrayed spouse to even consider how you might someday move from pain and anger to a stronger more intimate relationship with your spouse. But to have a deeply fulfilling relationship once again, you will need to take steps to move in this direction at some point.
Many people confuse intimacy with only being about sex, but it’s much more than that.
Dr. Frank Gunzburg describes intimacy as the deepest sharing that can exist between two people in the following ways:
- Physical sharing of one’s body with another
- Describing innermost thoughts, feelings and emotions
- Discussing future hopes and dreams
- Romantic gestures to show caring
- Quality time spent together
Dr. Gunzburg calls these elements of intimacy a “triangle” that consists of romance, emotional connecting of a non-sexual nature, and sex. He suggests that in order to rebuild intimacy in your marriage that you concentrate first on the romance and the emotional connection points of that triangle. Sexual intimacy may be an area that you will only feel secure in working up to once these two sectors have been strengthened.
So this leads to our discussion questions for this week…
How has intimacy changed after the affair? What was it like prior?
What points of the “triangle” do you think you personally need to work on to rebuild your marriage?
What steps are you taking to accomplish this?
As always, please respond to each other in the comments.
Doug & Linda