infidelity quotesHello everyone,

Our discussion this week was suggested to us by one of our readers who has appreciated some of the things that were said by others – blog readers or otherwise. 

She felt that it would be a good idea for us to share some of those special inspirational, marriage and infidelity quotes, sayings and phrases that have meaning for you, have helped you through difficult times or that you simply just enjoy.

I felt it was a great idea, so here we go…

Here are a couple that this particular person enjoyed:

  • “Your actions speak so loudly I can’t hear your words.” – from a blog comment 
  • Her husband referring to the affair as the “Road crash now appearing in the rear view mirror.”

Here are some that I found on the web that I like:

  • “The cruelest lies are often told in silence.”  –  Robert Louis Stevenson
  • “It takes two people to create a successful relationship.  It only takes one person to make it fail.”  – Unknown
  • “The person you marry, is not the person you divorce.”-  Unknown
  • “Those who are faithless know the pleasures of love; it is the faithful who know love’s tragedies.” – Oscar Wilde
  • “What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.” – Rodney Dangerfield
  • “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
  • “So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday.” – Nicholas Sparks
  • “The unexamined life is not worth living.” – Socrates
  • “Courage: the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.” – Maya Angelou
See also  Open 'Mic' Discussion #22

…OK, so that should get us started.

Feel free to share what you like – motivational, inspirational, on love, marriage and infidelity quotes, etc.

Thanks!

Linda & Doug

 

    78 replies to "Discussion – Inspirational, Marriage and Infidelity Quotes"

    • exercisegrace

      Love this idea. I have so many in my journal and they lift me up or make me laugh on the darkest of days.

      **God has a plan for your life. The Enemy has a plan for your life. Be ready for both. Just be wise enough to know which one to battle and which one to embrace.

      **Joy: the unwavering trust that God knows what He’s doing and has blessed me with the opportunity to be a part of it. Not despite what’s happening in my life but because of it. When everything earthy feels heavy he gives me an internal lightness that can’t be reached.

      **Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me weak is not what you are going to remember about me. (Al Capone)

      **The more I understand about the human mind and the human experience, the more I begin to suspect that there is no such thing as unhappiness, there is only ungratefulness.

      **Life will always throw you curves, just keep fouling them off. The right pitch will come and when it does be prepared to run the bases.

      **I want to make you stand in awe of everything we refused to give up on.

      **Hurt me with the truth but never comfort me with a lie.

      **The only people who are mad at you for speaking the truth are those people who are living a lie. Keep speaking truth.

      **I don’t hate you, I’m just disappointed that you turned into everything you said you would never be.

      **Sometimes burning bridges is awesome. It keeps you from going back to places you should never have visited in the first place.

      **And that’s the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too.

      **I make no apologies for how I choose to repair what you broke.

      **The only couples that are “meant to be” are the ones who go through everything that is meant to tear them apart and come out even stronger than they were before.

      **You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

      • exercisegrace

        OH and a funny one…….

        He said the spark between us was gone. So I tasered him. I’ll ask him again when he wakes up.

        ba ha ha ha ha ha

        • confused1

          Love them, EG. Mine are all compliments of Pinterest. A bit jaded – perhaps, but I love that they can make me laugh at the end of a rough day.

          *I don’t hold grudges. I remember facts.

          *Let me break this down for you. If you don’t want me to call you an a**hole, don’t be an a**hole.

          *No, no. I’m listening. It just takes me a minute to process so much stupid.

          *Oh. I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I keep to myself.

          *Let me know when you’re able to emotionally process me calling you out on your bullsh*t. I’ll be here.

          *I’m not really a b*tch. I’m just a woman with a backbone.

          *If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it’s because it’s fertilized with bullsh*t.

          *Do not ever underestimate my ability to find sh*t out.

          And my favorite –
          *I’m not really a b*tch all the time. You just don’t like when i call you out on your bullsh*t. ALL THE TIME!

          • exercisegrace

            Mine came mostly from Pinterest too. I shouldn’t admit this but I have a locked board that no one but me can see. I put the mean ones on there, LOL.

          • Strengthrequired

            Lol confused, I love these ones.
            However they have all been good, I just laughed at these ones more.

        • Strengthrequired

          Hahaha hahaha

    • Gizfield

      My favorite is “You knew what I was when you picked me up.” It’s from the Native American fable about the rattle snake who wants a ride across the river and tell s whoever he is talking to (another animal, I guess) that he won’t bite him when they get to the other side. Of course he is lying and bites the animal , who then dies. When he is shocked by the deception, the rattle snake says “You knew what I was when you picked me up.” So anytime you are messing with something you shouldn’t, there is a point where you rationalize what you are doing and pick it up anyway. Cheaters know the point they are doing this, it is crap they ate trying to pass off, they didnt mean to, it just happened, it didn’t seen wrong, ad nauseam. They chose the behavior, and the consequences.

    • Gizfield

      That doesn’t seem wrong to me, EG. I have mo problem with privacy, my spouse’s included. EXCEPT when he is bringing a road whore into our marriage. PROBLEM, lol!

      • exercisegrace

        LOL, no my husband knows about the board. I have read a few of the “gems” to him. It makes him uncomfortable, but it’s a good way for me to vent.

        One of the ones I can print is……….”If you were on fire and I had a glass of water….I’d drink it.”

    • tryinghard

      “Cheating is not a mistake, it’s a choice”

    • Struggling

      Desperate people say and do desperate things.

    • Patsy50

      Here are a few of my favorites—–

      Trust is like a mirror, once it’s broken you can never look at it the same again

      I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t

      I have learned that sometimes “sorry is not enough,sometimes you actually have to change”.

      You have to fight through some bad days to have the best days of your life

      Hold on a little longer because if you give up now you will never know what could have been

    • blueskyabove

      I have a ton of inspirational quotes – most seem to deal with changing perspective, believing in yourself and recognizing your potential.

      “When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.” – Charles A. Beard

      “You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it.” – Paulo Coelho

      “…just when it looks like life is falling apart, it may be falling together for the first time.  The nice thing about things falling apart is that you can pick up only the pieces that you want.” – Neale Donald Walsch

      “If her past were your past, her pain your pain, her level of consciousness your level of consciousness, you would think and act exactly as she does.” – Eckhart Tolle

      “Some people find fault like there is a reward for it.” – Zig Ziglar

      “Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I need it the most.” – Unknown

       “The best knots are tied without rope.” – Lao Tzu

      “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars.  You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” – Anonymous

      “…there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. ” – Shakespeare

      “You, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect.” – Buddha

      “You don’t have to go looking for love when it is where you come from.” – Werner Erhard

      “Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something.” –  H. Jackson Brown J.

      “There came a time when remaining tight in the bud was more painful than it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin

      “Won’t  you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you.” – Richard Brinsley Sheridan

      May you all blossom.

      PS…and just because I can’t rule it out completely:

      “Maybe the hokey pokey IS what it’s all about.”

    • Blue

      These are great! I have lots more but here’s one of my favourites I aspire to:

      “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
      — Maya Angelou

      • blueskyabove

        Blue,

        Yes! That’s what I’m talking about!

    • Kelly

      Another from Mya Angelou.”When someone shows you who they are, believe them”

    • Blue

      Here’s another I like but I will be sending a lot more. I feel this relates to not only the BS but the CS. To everyone.

      Two Wolves

      An old Cherokee chief is teaching his grandson about life:
      “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

      “One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.

      “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope,
      serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

      “This same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

      The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

      The old chief simply replied, “The one you feed.”

    • Blue

      One more set before bed. (ones I’d like to show my CS but don’t want to jab at him)

      If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters. ~Alan Simpson

      Character is much easier kept than recovered. ~Thomas Paine

      The measure of a person’s real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out. ~Thomas Babington Macaulay

      Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Browne

      The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. ~Norman Vincent Peale

      Take care that no one hates you justly. ~Publilius Syrus

      There are two kinds of people: those with integrity and those without. Be in the first group; there is less competition
      Revised from a quote by ~Indira Gandhi

      Rule #1: Use your good judgment in all situations. There will be no additional rules. ~Nordstrom’s Employee Handbook

    • EyesOpened

      ‘I don’t care what you think of me. I don’t think of you at all.’ Coco Chanel

      ‘As she has planted, so she does harvest. Such is the field of Karma’ – anon

      BSA – lol at the Hokey Pokey

    • chiffchaff

      Oddly I understood alot more about the OW when I heard a statement on Parks and Recreation last night (it’s currently showing in UK and we think it’s fab!) – it was when Ron explained that Justin (the perfect boyfriend) was

      ‘a tourist in other peoples lives – joining in just to get some great stories and then moving on, taking those snippets and stories with him to make his own dull life seem more interesting’ (well – paraphrased)

    • Strengthrequired

      Interesting chiffchaff, I guess you can call them a tourist just looking for fun in their holiday destination (our spouses) did I phrase that right “in”hahaha.

    • Strengthrequired

      Ohh and chiffchaff, I wonder if the holiday snaps will be looked back on with fond memories, or will they end up looking back on Hoosier as the worst holiday destination they ever had.

    • Strengthrequired

      That was supposed to say holiday lol

    • Strengthrequired

      I can’t remember where I got these ones, but I sent them to my h a while ago.
      Stay true to yourself and you will always be true to your loved ones.
      Immature love says
      : I love you because I need you,
      Mature love says
      : I need you because I love you.

      Love begins at home and it is not how much we do….., but how much love we put in that action.

      Love is when the other persons happiness is more important than your own.

      Choose your love, love your choice.

      No man succeeds without a good woman behind him, wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed.

      Success or failure depends more upon attitude than upon capacity, successful men act as though they have accomplished or are enjoying something. Soon it becomes a reality. Act, look, feel successful, conduct yourself accordingly, and you will be amazed at the positive results.

      In order to succeed you must fail, so that you know what not to do next time.

      Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.

      Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time.

      Have regular hours of work and play, make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will be delightful, old age will bring few regrets, and life will become a beautiful success.

      I can’t promise to solve all your problems, but I can promise you won’t have to face them alone.

    • Gizfield

      I got one of my favorites off this site I think. “Bad marriages don’t cause affairs. Affairs cause bad marriages.” So very true in almost ALL cases!

    • Strengthrequired

      Gizfield, I think it’s true too for most marriages.

      I also like to remind myself, no matter how much my h and I thought our marriage was invincible, the ea was a wake up call for us, a blessing in disguise, to take more notice of each other, not to let life get in the way of giving each other the time to keep our marriage alive, give the spark back, instead of getting too comfortable.
      It shows us now that no matter how good we thought our marriage was, no marriage is invincible if you don’t keep each other alive in your hearts, and spend the quality time with each other without life getting in the way.
      It’s a crappy way to be given the wakeup call, that’s for sure.

    • Strengthrequired

      I would say, a mistake made is a lesson learned, a lesson worth remembering,

    • Gizfield

      Here’s a good one, straight from my own sweet Momma. “Trash is it’s own reward.” Lol, anyt time I wonder if I “overreact” or am “crazy” or”jealous” I think about what my parents would think about this shit. I’m like “nope, I’m not the problem, lol .” My daddy would have kicked his ass, and my momma would have kicked her trashy ass, lol. What a fun fantasy, they have been dead for 20 years.

      • tryinghard

        Giz
        LOL! Momma’s words are always on target. My mom used to say “A stiff cock has no conscience”: I think that pretty much sums it up right???

    • Gizfield

      Trying hard, I have heard that, but not fun my Momma, lol. I’m serious, though, my parents were very blue collar, didn’t finish high school, and didnt like anyone treating their “baby” badly. I was pretty sheltered, my daddy wouldn’t let me watch Beverly Hills Cop with him and my first husband due to the language, lol. My father grew up in a rough area, without a father, and had a bad temper, like me, lol. Also fought in Golden Gloves a ass kicker. He would have beat my husband’s ass, literally.

    • Gizfield

      Oops, should say “was an ass kicker,” lol. They both were factory workers, and he was sent home more than once for “altercations.” My high school boyfriend later told me he was afraid of him. Said he’d be sitting there sharpening his knives when he picked me up and he wanted to run. I’m laughing just thinking of it.

      • tryinghard

        My mother was always very open and honest with me. We had a great relationship and I respected her. She told me that when I was a teenager and her words have never rung truer. Both my parents are gone and they adored my husband. They would be very disappointed to say the least. They were old school and I’m sure they would have questioned what I did to “make” my husband have an affair. Also she was french so maybe she would have thought I should look the other way. I don’t know. I’m glad they aren’t here to witness the chaos.While I loved and respected my parents I’m sure their words of support would have been to “just get over it’.

    • chiffchaff

      Half the harm that is done in this world
      Is due to people who want to feel important
      They don’t mean to do harm ¬
      But the harm does not interest them.
      Or they do not see it, or they justify it
      Because they are absorbed in the endless struggle
      To think well of themselves.

      T. S. Eliot

    • Doug

      Great stuff! Keep them coming…I think next week I will accumulate all of the quotes, etc and put them all together in one PDF document and either email it to you all or add it to this post (or both) so that you can have a nice little “quote file.”

    • forcryin'outloud

      “It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe.” – Thomas Paine

      “It is impossible for a man to be cheated by anyone but himself.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

      “Where promiscuity prevails, they will therefore always be more often 
the victims than culprits.” – CS Lewis

      “You are not only responsible for what you say, but also for what you do not say.” -– Martin Luther

      “We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

      “The most important thing I learned is that to be truly happy, you’ve got to pay attention to that stupid inner voice we all have. It knows what you need and will drive you shit crazy until you listen to it.” ― Dorothea Benton Frank

      And because it”s sooooo true sooooo often…

      “You can’t fix stupid.” – Ron White

    • Gizfield

      This isn’t exactly a quote, but it’s on my mind tonite for some reason so I think I’ll throw it out there. The one statement I see consistently from cheaters, and that really pisses me off is “I didn’t know I was doing anything wrong.” Ok, so you have grown ass men and women sneaking around with someone of the opposite sex and they dont “know it’s wrong”? What pure and utter bullshit. Of course they know it’s wrong. Or maybe they are that stupid. Nah, they know. At least when I cheated, I had the decency to know it was wrong. And it is very early on, too. My ex boyfriend called me at my mother’s house in 1989. we talked a while,And later my mother asked if it was him. I can’t remember if I lied or not, possibly. I told him not to call again but I didnt tell my husband either. This is probably the original point that I knew this was wrong.but I pacified myself by saying I told him not to call me. I also suspect he knew I wouldn’t tell my husband and that he would call again. We met up again after my mother died and I KNEW THIS WAS WRONG ALL THE TIME WE WERE DOING IT. I think people really are cheating themselves with the entire “emotional affair” concept. I’d never heard of it 20 years ago, “cheating” was just cheating, none of this out that We’re just friends , or we didn’t have sex, we just “fill in the blank “. I had very little physical contact with this guy, and it didnt make it any less wrong, then or now.

      • Tryinghard

        Giz
        What about “I don’t remember”? LOL. I love that one

    • Strengthrequired

      Something on my mind too gizfield, stupid is stupid do.
      You are so right, another one that gets said is: ohhh it just happened, I didn’t mean it to happen.
      Well if you didn’t mean it to happen then you should have stopped after the first time, not keep doing.

    • Gizfield

      You are so right, Strength. Like I said I just get so tired of the fake “innocence” all around. I knew my ex didn’t just call to shoot the breeze. He was feeling me out to see how I’d react and he called it right on target. He knew I’m not a total slut so he took it slow. Hey, he was a pro at cheating, after all. Anyway, potential cheaters give off signals that let others know of their intentions, or receptivity I guess you could say. My husband KNEW his road whore wouldn’t get on the phone and blast him as a cheater to his friends, so he chose well also. Here is an example of what I mean. My husband is in a band. Last weekend the sound guy got really drunk and grabbed one of the band members wife’s butt. She told her husband, who called the guy out. I wasn’t there but I guarantee she has sent a message to every one that she does not play that shit. But what message would she send if she kept a secret? Exactly! It goes on all the time. Those signals each person sends out. At work, there is a guy that sits behind me. Forties probably, grown daughter, girl friend I think. Hes a good looking guy, fit, very nice, intelligent. We are friendly but if either of us started finding reasons to be together a lot, or getting together outside work , or texting or calling each other we would both know it is WRONG. I’m sure he would lose respect for me as a married woman doing that. And I would change my opinion of him as a great guy and a good catch for someone else of into viewing him as a creepy, cheating pervert. so, yes you DO KNOW.

    • Gizfield

      And, yes, Strength, I think any activities after you “know” it’s wrong are the worst. I will never get past the fact that my husband chose to continue his relationship with his Turd after we got on our”text fight”. It’s not really about forgiveness, it is about my opinion of him CHANGING so dramatically that it can never in this lifetime be repaired. In the back of my mind he will always be a creepy cheating liar who chose his secret friendship with a road whore over his marriage. That may sound harsh but thats the way it is. I dont think he really gets that.

    • Gizfield

      I think the fact that my 10 year anniversary is coming up on Tuesday is bumming me out. For about the last year, after I kicked him out for a month, he’s been the way I wanted him to be, but it doesn’t really matter to me. I think what is bothering me is that if he hadn’t done this shit I would be happy about this anniversary. I do not even want to acknowledge it. I just want to deduct any time he was even in any contact with this tramp off my marriage total, like it didnt even happen. I always TOLD this guy I was not interested in competing with anyone for my own damn husband. And I wasn’t. I guess the statement “I do not want you if you are messing with this tramp” was not clear enough for him.

    • Strengthrequired

      I dont think that is harsh gizfield, not at all. I think the same, I can’t get over the fact that my h although came home to be with his family after being apart for a month, chose his wife and children, yet still kept texting, seeing her, and lying to me. It’s hard to swallow, he kept on choosing his infactuation with cousin it over seeing his wife hitting depression hard, crying everyday , I was literally trying to hit the thoughts out of my head, as I couldnt take it anymore.
      I gave him another reminder today, that I was going through depression, I needed him, I didn’t choose someone else to lean on, as I wanted and needed him.
      I told him, however when you were going through whatever you were going through, you turned and leaned on someone else for support not your wife of 21 yrs at the time, you chose to turn against me, make me look bad and hurt me, yet what did I do? I stood by you, as I knew it wasn’t you, I chose to stand by you in your darkest time, I chose to love you and help you.
      He never really responded, but let me know he much he loved me. Yet as you can see, that was hurtful what he did, no matter what the reasons, when he came home he should have stood by me, not cousin it. That will always bemin the back of my mind, how quickly he threw me under a bus when the going got tough, when I needed him, yet he felt sorry for cousin it, so he gave her what he needed to give me.
      I won’t ever understand it, no matter how hard I try too.

    • Gizfield

      Absolutely! This guy had the nerve to say “I didn’t know it would hurt you. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” ummm, BULLSHIT! You knew it and chose to DO IT ANYWAY !! At least man up about it. he now gives me a line of “I’m sorry I did it I shouldn’t have done it, and if I could go back and do it over I wouldn’t do it.” Wow, in some ways I like to hear that and in other ways I’m like “what the f&$ k, ever, tell it to your whore .” The whole thing just makes me literally sick to even think if it. He was the one begging to get back together, NOT ME. I was done with begging at that point. I get sick at my stomach even thinking about nge doing it. “please dont call this road whore. Please let go of this bitch. Etc” it makes me want to go back on time and slap my own self. Ewwwww, that is what disgusts me, that I put up with this guy after he’d been sniffing after this tramp. Again, all I can say is Ewwwww. I do not think this woman is glamorous, or enticing, or worthy of admiration. I think she is disgusting, I think he is disgusting for associating with her, and I am disgusted with my self for associating with him after he had associated with her nasty ass.

    • Gizfield

      Oh, I don’t want to understand it even. It doesn’t even really matter to me. Sorry to be so negative. I came home from work, he was cooking dinner, I laid down and never got up to eat. It is like sometimes I can’t even stand to look at him or even be in the same room with him. And he hasn’t done anything, it’s just a residual effect. I dont think it will ever go away.

    • Gizfield

      Good one, trying hard. I actually did laugh out loud! He said he didnt remember too, and that it shouldn’t hurt me because she is so “unimportant” and their conversations were “unimportant”. Lol, indeed.

    • Tryinghard

      Giz
      Sounds like you had the same day I did. My mantra has been I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care. Yep I was ready to throw in the towl too. On top of everything now my son is getting divorced and is going to be in a custody battle for my grandson the absolute light and love of my life.. And business has been awful for the first quarter and the bank is probably going to call the note. Fuck this shit. I’ve had enough pain and hurt. I want to leave and start a new life far away from here. The only thing keeping me here is my grandson. God works in mysterious ways.

    • Strengthrequired

      You are expressing everything I feel, omg, I feel disgusted so much too, I can’t understandmhow any of this was worth almost breaking our family. He even admits, we didn’t even fight, there was nothing for it to start. Yet at the beginning of his ea, it was all my fault, she followed him os after paying for her ticket, and she threw herself at him because I wasn’t around, I’m so angry that he degraded me, as well as himself and our family, humiliating us for the sake of a piece of rubbish. Someone that called herself family, and used her own family to trap my husband.
      Im not a bad person, my h never had a bad thing before ti say about me until he had to make me sou d so terrible to make his behaviour seem ok. He called his sister while he was os and told her how he was leaving me when he got home, but she wasn’t to tell me.
      Do you know how many times I spoke to her, telling her how upset I was that he hadn’t called me, and how much I missed him. My god, when I found out I felt even more humiliated.
      Even one evening my h after he had moved out, came and stayed the night, cousin it had tip nag his sister at all hours of the night, telling her ohhh, I’m so worried I think his wife has called the police on him and he is in jail, as he won’t answer my calls. I drove past their home and the lights were on. Well they weren’t on, they were off and we were asleep, until we get a call in the morning as cousin it had nagged his sitter again, so his sister thought then that maybe I did do something. He spoke to his sister, she ended p putting cousin it on the phone and he ran to her.
      She carried on at his sisters place, screamed and carried on at him. Then they made.up. Makes me sick. Makes me angry that his sister thought so bad of me, because of the piece of rubbish drumming it into her head. No wonder my h went the way he did, she’s that good at manipulating.
      I ended up telling my sil, how could you have called us, and put the phone onto her, when we were trying to work things out. How could you ever think I would hurt my h. All she could say was I’m sorry.
      I was treated so shabbingly, I don’t know how I came this far.
      Ohh and two days later my h told me he didn’t want to be with me anymore, he is with the person he wants to be with.
      A week later he was home. Go figure….

      • Strengthrequired

        Giz, don’t worry, we are all feeling the same way, some days are better than others.

        TH – that is another one that gets me “ohh I forgot” “I don’t remember”. Was it that bad you couldn’t even remember that you had a family.
        This recovery is pretty hard, my h would tell me to be patient. Omg, why wasn’t I strong enough to walk away at the beginning, when he came home but kept seeing her. He could have fell into his little hole he dug for himself quicker, and then maybe I wouldn’t have been continuously hurt. I often look at all we have lost and what we are trying to recover and it’s devastating to say the least.
        Why is it so easy for our spouses to throw us under a bus, to save themselves?

    • Gizfield

      So sorry to hear that. I totally understand wanting to go myself. It’s just about impossible to want to honor my commitment when this guy disregarded it and basically flushed it down the toilet with his Turd.

    • Strengthrequired

      You know what gizfield, no matter what, I love my h, I love my family, I just hate how thus whole thing ever happened.
      What I really want to hear from him, is how much he regrets ever bringing his cousin into our life, how he has no respect for her, she acted tarty, and she used him, and he never wants to see her again. That’s what I dream of hearing. Lol

    • Blue

      I feel the same way some times. Just so angry, hurt, disillusioned.

      I’m not religious, more spirtual. It is hard to feel enlightened when you feel fear and anger. Here’s another thought I try to think about:, what I don’t want to be.

      Focussing on the bad, this is what the devil wants you to do. This is when he has you as a decipal.

      • Tryinghard

        Blue
        Ah there lies the question. Maybe this isn’t Gods will for me to be here. Maybe I’m being disobedient and he is sending his agels to me as triggers reminding me who I’m with. Someone who broke all His laws. I want to quit all this. Ok mantra, I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care….

        • Blue

          Tryinghard,
          I think you do feel. That’s what makes you a Good Angel!!
          I like to believe the ‘Big Spirit’ places the Good Angels with those that have and are falling. S/He NEEDS the Good Angels (kindness, forgiveness, empathy) to rub off on the Fallen ones. It’s OUR OWN CHOICE to be good and kind. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t but it’s the ONLY cure for goodness to survive.

          People will always disappoint us, but it is OUR OWN CHOICE on whether we let THIER actions define us. It’s a way more difficult and couragous path than going with the metaphoric ‘devil’ but in the end it will be the Good Angels that have made the world a better place.

          So I’m going to continue fighting against the metaphoric ‘devil’ that tries to sink it’s tendrals into my soul.

          I think our Mantra should be (whether the CS is trying or not)
          ‘I am kind, I am empathetic, I am forgiving and I make these choices to stay this way no matter what other peoples choices are. Other peoples choices do NOT define me, they define themselves’

          Feel pity, not hate for those that make selfish choices and your heart will grow.

          (Geez, it’s so easy to write this yet so hard to actually live by- I’m Tryhard too!!!!! and Strength IS Required!!!)

          • tryinghard

            Blue
            Thanks for the kind words of inspiration. Yes I am kind and I care too much. That has probably been most of my down fall. Being kind when I should have been tough. I think I am now in Gods army of his archangel Michael. Michael has the strength to fight the enemy because God has sent him forth. Kindness and Love do win but sometimes we need to “gird our loins” and prepare for the fight. I can be tough when I need to. I prefer soft and kind but being a bad ass is helpful sometimes too.

    • Strengthrequired

      Hahaha blue, I like that…
      What I don’t want to be is cousin it….. Lol

      I would prefer to be myself any day, have the morals and respect for myself as well as my family, and have my h regret ever breaking our vows everyday, then to be cousin it, the one that almost broke a family.

    • Gizfield

      I was originally going to throw in the towel myself, june 25, 2009 when he told me he wanted a divorce, he was in love with someone else. He “forgot” saying that. Guess it wasn’t true love, after all. I thought about it overnite and decided I couldnt expose my five year old daugher to a tramp who dates other women’s husbands. I didnt know who she was and she is even viler than I could have imagined. Word has it her own daughter is a chip of the old block, and her brother she lives with was in the hospital over mental issues. Wow, just what I want my child brought up in, and dont forget to add in her adultering father. An episode of Intervention in the making. Although if I had known he was going to continue with this road whore, I doubt I would have stayed, I would have just moved out of state. This whore did it with her own kid so I know you can. What a worthless tramp. Totally disgusting.

      • Strengthrequired

        That’s one thing I dent want to have my girls associated with, someone that broke their family, because she needed some poor bugger to keep her and her children so she didn’t have too. What I have heard is her (still h) although separated, isn’t a night in shining armor either. Certainly wouldnt want my kids mixed up with him. Yet that is exactly what my h would of had happen if he started a life with her.
        I too would have left where I was living, far away with our children, because there was no way I was going to let her near them, and wasn’t going to risk having them see her and her children, and my children’s father, with her at the shops or anywhere else for that matter.
        That would have hurt them so much, seeing him being more of a father to her kids than to them.

    • Strengthrequired

      Th, I need to keep repeating that mantra. I don’t care, I don’t care, I dont care.. Hmmm helps surprisingly well, especially when I add “about cousin it ” to the end of it.

    • Cookiemomster

      Some of my favorites:

      “Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.”

      “If your apology is followed by an excuse you might as well not apologize at all.”

      “The grass is greener where you water it!”

      For CS’s: “When the wrong people leave your life the right things start happening.”

      “Real men stay faithful. They don’t have time to look for other women because they’re too busy looking for ways to love their own.”

      “When I get sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead.”

      “If a woman asks you a question it’s better to tell her the truth because chances are she’s asking you because she already knows the answer.”

      “A strong woman is one who is able to smile this morning like she wasn’t crying last night.”

      “If you don’t want anyone to find out, don’t do it!”

      “The first to apologize is the bravest, the first to forgive is the strongest, and the first to forget is the happiest.”

      “So you’re sleeping with a married man? Girl, you’re going to hell on a scholarship!” 🙂

      “I can choose to let it define me, confine me, refine me, outshine me, or I can choose to move on and leave it behind me.”

      and last but not least….

      “Let your faith be bigger than your fear.”

    • CBB

      Hello everyone, know the feeling!
      I’m in for a yearly event with the OW tomorrow…. (memories grrrrr…). My H say’s that her inviting us is a way of trying to get the “awkward feeling” out of the way. I think she just can’t let go and the fact that she has a lot off power professionally prevents us form being mean. I hate this hypocrite !!! having to play good friends give’s me such a trigger and I’m sure she knows it !!
      But this site is here to help , so let’s get back on track or I’ll flip before the party !

      First quote is supposed to be funny (but for the knew ones on this site sometimes take the advise and come back later)
      I’ve read so many bad things about sex, smoking, drinking, drugs … that I decided to stop reading.

      *There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad and focus on the good, love the people who treat you right, pray for the one’s who don’t. Life is to short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of life, getting back up is living.

      * The 5 most important words are
      I am proud of you
      The 4 most important words are
      What is your opinion
      The 3 most important words are
      If you please
      The 2 most important words are
      Thank you`
      The most important word`
      We
      The least important word
      I

      All people have a good side, if it’s not when coming in it’s when leaving

      Most of our mistakes in life are made when we think where we aught to feel and feel when we aught to think.

    • Sweetpea

      “‎All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”

      ― Henry Havelock Ellis

      I have a tattoo of “Hold on” on my left wrist and “Let go” on my right wrist. These tattoos seemed appropriate after 2 years of holding on to a marriage that he had already let go of after 4 affairs. To stay meant years of fear that he would betray me once again because he hadn’t shown the ability or desire to change. I wasn’t going to be happy, nor be the best mother to my son in the midst of my discontent. Praying for peace and healing during this difficult time for myself and for all of you experiencing the pain of infidelity.

    • Blue

      Here’s one for you Doug (becaise I think even though you put Linda through so much pain, you are willing to look at yourself and be a better person)

      From movie Hellboy
      · “What makes a man a man? A friend of mine once wondered. Is it his origins? The way he comes to life? I don’t think so. It’s the choices he makes. Not how he starts things, but how he decides to end them.”
      — John Myers

      • Doug

        That’s an awesome quote, Blue. So very true too. Thanks for sharing

      • Strengthrequired

        I just sent that quote ti my h blue. Thats a good one.

    • SamIam

      Very Nice quote, Blue.

      I had a few that I leaned on but most have been posted here…:) but here is one of my all time favs

      “A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it’s in hot water.”

      ― Eleanor Roosevelt

      • Strengthrequired

        Sam am, that’s true, we are all pretty strong here that’s for sure

    • SamIam

      here is another :
      Half the harm that is done in this world
      Is due to people who want to feel important
      They don’t mean to do harm
      But the harm does not interest them.
      Or they do not see it, or they justify it
      Because they are absorbed in the endless struggle
      To think well of themselves.

      T. S. Eliot

    • EyesOpened

      I know it’s old and well used – but so, so true:

      ‘Today is the first day of the rest of your life.’

      Cookiemomster – your quotes are fantastic!

    • Gizfield

      Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters. —Margaret Peters

    • Gizfield

      Do you know why people lie and cheat? Because they know it’s easier to get FORGIVENESS than PERMISSION.

      So true. Thanks to “shes a homewrecker” on facebook.

    • Gizfield

      The truth only hurts once and a lie hurts every time you remember it.

    • lin

      Thank you for this post. It brightened my day

    • Gizfield

      Talk is CHEAP; actions are PRICELESS!

    • SamIam

      The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”

      ― Gloria Steinem

    • SamIam

      “He who stands for nothing will fall for anything.”

      ― Alexander Hamilton

    • Doug

      Thanks to everyone who has contributed quotes. You can certainly keep adding to the list, but I’ve taken what we’ve got so far and compiled them into one PDF document. You can download it here: https://www.emotionalaffair.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Inspirational-Quotes.pdf

      I will also include it in this Friday’s regular email.

      Thanks again!

    • SHAPE

      Healing hurts . . . BUT . . . Hurting heals

    • NolaGirl

      To ignore the facts doesn’t change the facts.

      Let go and Let God

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