Good Wednesday to everyone!
For many betrayed spouses, the thought of having a revenge affair of their own is a thought that races through their minds at one time or another.
Many have feelings that they want to make their spouse hurt as much as they have been hurt.
But is this train of thought healthy – or even accurate?
It seems that in many cases the betrayed spouse decides to have an affair in an attempt to make themselves feel better, or to get even, or to simply have some “fun” of their own. Unfortunately, it usually does the opposite and makes them feel even worse and will usually do more harm than good.
Often what happens when one has a revenge affair is that the cheater actually may feel as though they have been let off the hook – so to speak. They don’t feel the same level of betrayal. They may even end up feeling better because there is a sense that much of the guilt that they feel has been absolved. They have paid the price for their actions and feel that they should now be forgiven and/or released from their guilt.
So our discussion this week…
Have you considered having a revenge affair of your own? If so, did you act on it?
What was the ultimate outcome of the affair? That is, did your spouse find out? What was his/her reaction, etc.?
If you wound up not having a revenge affair of you own, what stopped you from going through with it?
Dr. Robert Huizenga, author of “Break Free From the Affair,” offers this brief (4+ minutes) video on the revenge affair that you might want to check out.
Please be sure to reply to one another in the comments below.
Linda & Doug