Good Wednesday!

As a betrayed spouse, one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have is telling your spouse just how painful their affair was, and how it has left you terribly hurt and betrayed.

You’ve been devastated in many ways, and keeping the pain you feel all bottled up inside after the affair isn’t very good for your emotional and physical well-being.

In fact, if you do not express your pain about the affair to your spouse, it can increase your risk for some pretty serious health issues – heart disease, depression and even cancer, to name a few.

Obviously then, you need to communicate your feelings and emotions to your spouse for your own sake, and for that of the marriage.

Have you expressed to your spouse the immense pain you are experiencing?

If so, how did that affect you? How did communicating your pain affect your spouse and your relationship?

If not, what is holding you back? How has keeping this pain bottled up affected you physically and emotionally? How has not expressing your pain affected your relationship?

As always, please respond to each other in the comments.

Thanks!

Doug & Linda

See also  Open 'Mic' Discussion #17

    26 replies to "Discussion: Expressing Your Pain After the Affair"

    • michael

      Right now I’m dealing with a low that hasn’t gone away.
      I’ve stopped telling her how I feel anymore. It simply doesn’t have any effect on her when I do. We don’t communicate. She won’t talk about it. She won’t do anything about it. She won’t change.
      I simply have to come to grips with getting what little I get. Has it affected the way I treat her? You bet it has. I don’t want to feel cold and distant from her but I simply can’t give her when I have nothing left to give. All I have right now is my pain and on most days now I get by with keeping myself busy at work. Playing video games with my son. Working on my sisters pool. Working on my nephews car.
      If she will never share her feelings or make me part of her life, why should I do differently.
      I looked at OM’s facebook for the first time in a while yesterday and it catapulted my feelings even lower for now. It was his anniversary and his kind and loving words to his wife were disgusting. It took everything I had not to leave a message on his FB. But I know, what would that accomplish? Nothing.

    • mamak

      I’ve tried expressing my pain to my husband, but he doesn’t get it. He’s so caught up in his own pain and heartbreak over having to leave her that he can’t be there for me in any way right now. Anytime I try and express myself, he shuts off – says he can’t handle the guilt or pressure right now. I’m hoping that he’ll start coming around soon, since he did leave her (I think) and said he wants to work on our marriage. It’s frustrating to me though, because we’re on a timeline of sorts, I am pregnant with our second child (yep, throw hormones into the mix of emotions I’m dealing with) and I’m worried he won’t make any effort and things will end up getting shelved for too long.

      Unfortunately, like michael, my choice is to just stop for now. I’ve decided to let him drive for awhile, see if he chooses to open any communication with me. He always has an excuse for why he hasn’t thought about it or made any effort….and frankly, I’m not sure how much longer I can let him put everything else before our relationship. I have our son and this baby to think about too…if our family can’t be a priority for him, then I think that speaks louder than anything he can say to me….

      I guess I feel like me expressing my feelings of pain, hurt, betrayal just push him farther away because it just brings back all of the feelings of guilt and pain in him – I think he’s still stuck on the idea that he doesn’t/hadn’t/wouldn’t have to deal with these things with her…

    • Morrigan

      I think I have already expressed this here, but…

      The last big blow up fight we had I told him how much pain I was in. I am in my mid 30’s and in the last 4 yrs have endured two surgeries, a disaster that took all material belongings (luckily no lives although it almost did) so had to rebuild everything, a cancer scare resulting in another surgery as of this last christmas, the loss of a best friend, and a few other very heartbreaking experiences. Needless to say I am tired and would like life to go into neutral for a bit. But I told him that what happened last summer, the pain from it all, was the worst pain I have ever encountered, worse then the mental pain of losing my father, worse the any physical pain I have ever gone through. It felt good to tell him that.

      His response was an apology, because he never meant it to happen. He listened, but then proceeded to tell me that I wasn’t the only one in pain. He is too. I know this was hard for him to tell me. That made me recognize how much inner conflict he was experiencing. Although I was seeing it daily. It didn’t make me feel better to know he was also in pain, it actually made me realize I still love him. But he is keeping it all inside, not wanting to talk about it. Is it fair…no. Like others I have to sit back a lot and wait for him to open up to talk when he is ready. I have had 3 big outbursts because I think I hold it in too much. But after every fight I have learned more about why it happened, his thinking and not thinking! He takes responsibility for it all, never has blamed me or the relationship. But telling him how profound the pain was lifted a great deal off my shoulders. Actually felt like I was taking the next step in recovery.

      When it happened he told me he didn’t know what love was anymore. He didn’t say he didn’t love me anymore, just that he didn’t know what it was. He has not told me he loves me. Although, in our 14 years together, he has very rarely ever said it. He is more actions then words. I believe this is also why he has not made any promises. He has not promised or said that this would not happen again. I am not sure I even want him to say it, because if he did, and then it happened again, it would be a promise broken. So at this point, I am living it one day at a time. Not knowing if he will be in my future, but looking at his actions as the IC told me to do. Look for the little things. It helps.

    • elph

      ive had one opportunity to express how i really feel since dday (1 mo. ago) and that came last tues. after our last Marriage Counseling session.(shes going into individual to deal with depression) i got a lot out there and later that night.
      for me, it felt great, though it was only a glimpse, my wife seemed to finally get how i feel. the next morning i felt alitlle better and while i was letting it out i came to several eppiphanies, most notebly the fact i have no control over my wife and what happens from here, i can only be me and do what i do.

      for my wife, she got some understanding of some of the REAL damage shes done to me emotionally, how shes ripped out my core and destroyed not only my sense of self, but of the relationship and trust and all the rest of that stuff.

      the only bad part is that her therapist has pretty much told her not to make any decisions right now on what out future is. shes still in the fog, and “in love” with the other person, though theyve stopped most contact(work together) and she said shes trying to get over it…but even without the affair our marriage may be unsalvageable. i however know thats not true.

      ive been told to back off on most of the stuff, so we dont talk about it..im just trying to heal myself and be the best person i can be as well as the man she fell in love with…
      she keeps telling me were best friends, but she cant be married to somebody shes not “in love” with…yet anybody who knows anything knows that being married to your best friends is part of what makes a great marriage. the therapist and i seem to be on the same level in terms of whats trying to be accomplished, simply because of her use of certain key words..

      so ive been dealing with it by journaling, keeping notes for the next time we can talk about it…hoping that after she heals from the breakup of her affair and decides to help save the marriage, there will be a time and place to get out the rest…

      that said, having read so much, both here and other forums and books, i feel as if ive done a great amount of healing…the only missing peice is that which i can do with my wife. there are things i just need to hear from her mouth, details, honesty and openess, and reestablishing trust. i believei know my self enough after this that 75% of my healing can come in short order, with the rest just being lingering emotions or triggers…but if we deal with it honestly, if she is truly remorseful, it wont take much..

      or i can be out of my skull…

    • michael

      We’ll I texted her today about my feelings.
      Today it was-
      Excuses
      Shifted blame
      Play the victim
      She wanted to know what else I wanted from her. I asked why, after reading two books (and never talking to me about them), trying to follow a couple blogs (when she has time) and even starting her own blog (that she stopped after about a month, because she said no one was interacting with her), that she still hasn’t decided to look for help with her issues.
      Her answer was, she brushed it under the rug like she always has.
      I told her at least she can admit to that.

    • Kathy

      You know what? It makes me sick to hear that the CS’s are feeling pain too. Like I give a damn if my H felt pain when he had to cut off ties with the OW! He put himself in that predicament, so why in the HELL should I have compassion for him, or any other CS? I don’t care how bad the CS’s feel, I don’t care what they’re having to deal with. CLEARLY they didn’t care how their BS’s felt. What a crock of sh*t.

    • Morrigan

      In my case its not that he is feeling pain from breaking ties with her. He has stated that he was over it months ago and that was his decision, I had backed off and let him figure it out. It was short lived. I let him figure it out himself, she ended up digging her own hole.

      But rather he deals with guilt and a sense of losing ones self, and he is still lost. The disbelief that they can be so weak. The fact they have destroyed so much and the fact that they really don’t understand how to handle their emotions, especially when they feel unable to talk, and know they have hurt you. The one person in their life that meant so much.

      Perhaps you all feel I am too understanding, I have too much sympathy. I really try to see how he feels, I see how he acts, I see when he pushes me away to internalize etc. But thats me, I work with students doing mediation and helping them with their issues is what I do. Perhaps I have too much empathy but I really try to understand all aspects of everything. To me things are never cut and dry in life. People and their emotions are very complicated.

      At this point he needs to work on himself and I am doing the same. All I can do is be there, for myself and for him when he is ready. One day at a time. It is not easy to look past the disbelief some days, d-day will be one year in June. But it is getting easier. I am holding on to hope, although there are never guarantees, either way I know I will be just fine.

      I know some may not agree with this but, his life is about him, mine is about me. Our lives have intercepted now for 14 years. I have come to realize I can not control his and likewise he can’t control mine. We must make a decision whether we want each other in each others lives or not, but even if we do our lives are still our own. Again, we do not have nor do we want children, that would make things incredibly different.

    • elph

      i hear you kathy…i feel the same way as well sometimes…they chose their path, they choose their consequences…

      but that all depends on if your trying to save the marriage. ive learned that anger and hatred only bring on more(unless its to the OP, they get what they deserve.)

      there are more constructive ways of dealing with it for long term success, it just requires patience, amongst other things…

      but at the same time it would be nice to just go off and vent to the CS, the temp. feeling of satisfaction would be immense, but then again, the CS thought the same thing to while in the affair…

    • Kathy

      Believe it or not I am trying to save my marriage. After d-day all my anger was directed at the OW, and most of it still is. However, after discovering that they hadn’t ended it when he said they did (d-day #2), the anger I felt towards my H flooded over me, and I’m having a difficult time of it.

      I can’t talk to him about any of this right now because the very day after d-day #2, he started having chest pains, etc. He’s had a bunch of tests and we may know more by this Friday, but so far they can’t find any reason for the pain or the strange way his blood pressure responds when he does any sort of activity.

      I’m afraid that any serious discussions about the EA, right now, might cause him to have a heart attack or something.

      It’s just so frustrating I could scream.

      Morrigan, I applaud you, I really do. I wish I could have the kind of empathy you do. I always thought of myself as empathetic to others, until this. I have never felt such helpless rage in my life.

      • J

        that’s how it was for me too- i was able to express my pain as sadness and hurt and try to be constructive but after I found out that during all my efforts at constructively “working on it” he was continuing the affair and working on covering his tracks more effectively, the pain and anger turned to rage. I know it’s not helping but people have limits- I feel for your frustration!

        • Kathy

          J,
          I felt the same…after everything I was doing to right what I could that had been wrong, to do my best to work things out with him because I believed him when he said the EA was over…to find that he was still lying to me and covering his tracks…it makes me sick and it makes me absolutely full of rage! I don’t know what I want to do at this point. I’m very conflicted.

      • Morrigan

        Hi Kathy, I hope you can work through it all. My spouse has dealt with things very similarly to others CS’s here. But when I read what different people are going through I have to wonder how I would react if I found out the same information, like a second d-day. If that happened I am not sure I could continue trying to work on the relationship. I am not sure I can withstand that second betrayal of trust. I would like to say I would try, but I do not know, and I hope I do not have to. Your rage and hurt is justified. Perhaps the rage is your protection right now. When I was getting angry it felt like I was protecting my heart.

        And the chest pains! My SO, when all this happened, begin not feeling well and randomly, after 3 years NOT going in for regular check ups, decided to go. They told him he had very bad blood pressure= hypertension! They immediately put him on meds etc. When he ended it with the OW things started to change. He wasn’t experiencing the stress, and has not taken the meds since last summer, his blood pressure is back down to regular numbers.

        So, how much of all of this, anxiety, high blood pressure, panic attacks etc, does the CS experience, especially when they are conflicted about what they are doing?

        • Kathy

          Morrigan,
          Thank you. It has not been easy after the second d-day. I am so full of doubt, mistrust and anger. And none of it has really been talked about with him because of his sudden health issues.

          I’ve also wondered if the chest pain and blood pressure issues are due to stress over the EA and me finding out. He never confessed until I found out about stuff. He told me he’d hoped it would just go away and I wouldn’t ever know. Boy, that makes me feel good (*insert sarcastic tone*).

          To me it seems awfully convenient that he started having these health problems the very day after d-day #2. I have wondered if he didn’t do this so we wouldn’t have to talk about all this stuff. I wonder if he figured I’d back off if he had health issues. But could he fake it? Is it real? If he really does have health issues, I would feel so bad for thinking that maybe it was a ruse.

          To make matters worse, we haven’t been intimate for a month now, since the chest pain/blood pressure thing started. There for a while we were intimate at least once a week. That has me worried too, both for his health, and because I wonder if it has to do with the EA.

          I hate this so much.

    • Joanna

      I’ve told my husband how hurt and betrayed I feel, but his response is only that we’ll get through it. He won’t talk about how he feels or what he was thinking when he decided to throw away our 28-year relationship to pursue a married woman he knew only through work. Physically he could see how it affected me because I lost 25 pounds. I have been reading this blog fairly religiously for about 4 or 5 months now, but have posted only on very rare occasions. My husband and I had not had a very good marriage for a long time. When our youngest daughter was finally off to college, he said he was afraid that I would finally leave him, so he decided when a co-worker expressed interest in him that he would pursue a relationship with her. Although I suspected he was having an emotional affair, I didn’t do any research to prove my suspicions. I simply told him one day that our marriage was not working and if he wasn’t willing to go to couples therapy, then it was time to end it. I told him he had to move out of our house, and when he did so fairly willingly, I knew my suspicions had to be true. I received confirmation two days later when the OWs husband called me. The EA started in early September. I asked him to leave two days after Thanksgiving, and two days after that is when I heard from the OW’s husband. The guy got together with my husband and his wife and got them to promise they would end the affair. Despite her husband’s attempts to intervene and their promises to end it, they continued the EA for another two months until the OW broke it off with my husband in early February, saying that her husband had done everything she wanted him to do to save their marriage (giving up booze, taking care of things around the house, and going to couples therapy with her), so she was choosing to stay with him. My husband, I found out later, still gave her a gift for Valentine’s Day, and another gift later in the month because she was having surgery that she was “upset” about (at the same time I was at home recovering from a surgery that he cared little about). A week or so after giving her this second gift, he said he wanted to come home and work on repairing our marriage, and he even agreed to couples therapy and made the calls to find a therapist. He is back home now and has been since early March. We are making progress, although I have had a number of bad days. Our daughters have mixed emotions, with my youngest saying that I made a big mistake taking him back….that I will never be able to trust him again. My older daughter said she is happy that I had the strength and courage to take him back and work with him to deal with the problems in our marriage. I continue with individual therapy that I started when I originally asked him to leave, and we have had 4 or 5 visits to the couples therapist to date. During our months apart and during the various therapy sessions, I discovered that my husband was a typical passive aggressive. After he was described as a passive aggressive by two different people within a matter of three days, I did some research on the web (I’d heard the term for years, but never knew what it was), and found that he had numerous characteristics of a passive aggressive that contributed, in my view, to most of the problems in our marriage. My therapist has said that these characteristics are deeply ingrained and that it’s difficult to change a passive aggressive person. Our couples therapist said she can help him learn to change the way he handles confrontations and problems within our marriage. When we are not talking about the affair, things are fine. He pretends, as he always has when we’ve had problems in our marriage, that nothing is wrong….just wants to forget that the problem exists. When I try to discuss the affair, he won’t directly answer my questions. Although he says he’s sorry for all the pain he caused me and our daughters, I don’t think he totally grasps the depth of our pain. When I ask him how he felt and what he was thinking each day that he woke up in our house knowingly lying to me each and every day, he avoids the questions. He tells me that I’ve read too many books and spent too much time on the internet researching EAs. The reality of my pain is that while my husband was gone (and still pursuing the OW), I struggled every day to work a fulltime job, be there for our daughters (who although they were both away at school, still needed to believe that I would be strong for them), take care of 5 household pets, pack up his belongings, try to get our house ready to sell, and pay the bills, all the while also trying to maintain the house by myself, knowing deep down that if I dared cry, I might never stop. I barely slept and I barely ate. I think during the nearly 6 months that the EA was going on, I broke down and cried for perhaps a total of 10 minutes. I never shed a single tear in front of him. I even attempted to console my husband when he was upset about the OW dumping him. How pathetic is that? Another reality is that we have been together for going on 28 years and we have two beautiful daughters together, and even though he hurt me to the core, I was not and am not ready to give up on our marriage. I knew it could be better…it had to be better because it certainly couldn’t get worse. And I still love him…always have, but if he doesn’t start opening up to me and being more honest with me, then I will continue to struggle with what he did. The other reality is that I will never know if he wanted to come back for the right reasons or whether he just came back because the OW dumped him. Where do I, in reality, actually fit into “I miss my life, I miss my wife, I miss my daughters, I miss my house, my friends, my neighbors.” I’ve told him this is what I think about on a fairly regular basis, and all he can say is we will make it work, while at the same time he continues to sidestep my questions.

    • Candace

      I have shared my pain several times with my husband, but he says I need to heal and get over it. His 6 month EM with my friend (now ex-friend) is “no big deal”. He has been considerate enough to listen to me but not in an understanding way. He thinks we will be ok with time. I don’t see it happening. He tells me constantly that he misses his friendship with her. While he will only say he misses me & our marriage if I ask him. He has moved out leaving me and our daughter, says he will be back when his head is straightened out. I feel so cheated in so many ways. He betrayed me, but he feels that he is the one who lost out on something and he is trying his best to shift blame onto me. Some days he has my emotions running in complete circles. In the six weeks that he left he has only asked to see our daughter twice. I am now having to deal with the many questions she is asking. I do like the idea of keeping a log of my feelings, might give that a try.

      • Candace

        I just checked my husband’s cell phone record. He has been texting/calling for the last week another mutual female friend of ours. When I asked him about it he said she is trying to help him through this. What!!?? But I can track the times/locations which he texted her & he was not thinking about us at those times. Does this count as EA #2? I talked to her about it & she said her husband is aware they are talking & she is only trying to help. I told her it wasn’t working but they have continued on. Again is this EA #2? I am sick! It’s only been 7 weeks since the 1st one ended & he can see the pain I am in. What is he thinking! I guess he isn’t. I can’t even cry over this 2nd one, just total shock.

    • sosad

      I have told him about my pain many times. Right after d-day, he was understanding but after a while he just didn’t want to hear it. I asked him to not have contact with the OW. He “limited” his contact but refused to give up all contact because he still considered her a friend. By the way, she was a mutual friend of ours. I was going through a difficult time helping a dying relative. She was helping him out with our kids. Everything came to a head this last week. We have decided to serperate. I am devastated for me and my boys. He is moving out at the end of the month. He says that he too needs to move out to get his head straightened out. I am in so much pain right now. I feel really alone right now. Almost all of my friends are mutual friends with her. They are all sympathizing with her right now because she just recently seperated from her husband. I am really hating life right now.

    • Norwegian woman

      He told me he’d hoped it would just go away and I wouldn’t ever know.
      ———————
      ——–
      Wow….. that was the exact explanation from my H on D-day 2 with his first mistress (came up 1/2year AFTER the second EA)
      After I discovered the EA, he still had contact with the mistress he had before the EA by phone, sms and so on. He told me the reason was that I DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THAT AFFAIR, and he hoped she would just stop contacting him. Actually I found suspicious mails from her and confronted him, but at that point he told me that it was work-related, and i BELIEVED him. I contacted her pr. mail, and she answered me and confirmed that it was work-related. The thing was that THEY HAD PLANNED TOGETHER what they were going to say. He still didn`t ask her to stop contacting him. He just asked her to only call him at work and use his job-mail…..
      He just hoped it would just go away, and I would not ever know, my a**!
      When I think about it I get so angry I can almost explode!!!

    • just found out

      The pain I feel is just horrible, I hate it. I want to feel normal again the way I felt before D-day. I hate this feeling. anxiety,stress,the deep pain in your heart, the fear. The fear of being hurt again and I know I can’t take it again I CAN’T! My H has appoligized and said it will never happen again. But how do I know it wont how do I trust again? We go to counseling and the counselor asked me how it made me feel. This was my response like a worthless piece of shit and him stepping in it and just kept smashing it around that is how he made me feel with his EA. I just want my H to leave that job with all those women that just want to cause problems. I think that is their goal to see how many married men they can get to go with them and that is putting it nicely!!!
      My H said that when he started this EA he was helping the OW with her marraige and he said he thought if he told me I would get mad and leave. Are you kidding me. When I found out my H was taking breakes with the OW in her car and texting and calling 3 times a day and he was deleting it so I wouldn’t find it. AND THEN LIED when I found out. Thats what should of made me leave. but I love my H more than I even thought I did.
      Can anyone tell me are men really that stupid that they don’t know when a women is coming on to them? I don’t think they are and I don’t think my H is but he is trying to make himself out to be! I think he thinks I’m that stupid but I’m not I know how us women work and this OW and possibly another one that I just learned about 2 days ago are or where working him good and he was just letting it happen. OMG it infuriates me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its harmless. Oh yea its harmless. I warned my H of his flirtatious ways along time ago, he didn’t think he was flirting but he was and sometimes just being nice to these little skanks is all it takes and they are hooked to you like a magnet.
      One word of advise NEVER get to comfortable in your relationship never think everything is fine because that is probably when its NOT!!!!

      • Cindy

        My feelings exactly! I can’t seem to shake the flood of different emotions that I feel – extreme anger, depressions, resentment – most days I am nauseated and can’t eat or sleep. How do you get over an EA? It’s been 9 months or so since I found out and I am no more over it than the day I found out. I have read the blogs and can so relate and have downloaded the affair article and it was good..I agree with everything being said and I try, I really try but I honestly don’t know if I can ever trust again. We are still together but as each day passes, it gets worse. I spend so much time and energy trying to follow up and see if he’s doing something, that it’s taking it’s toll on me. The bad part is we both work at the same place…and so does the OW. I work nights and they both work days so I am constantly wondering if he is still talking to her. I had a meeting at work yesterday during the day and when I walked over to his desk, he abruptly closed his Skype page. When I asked who he was talking to, he said it was a girl from where he used to live and she was having problems and needed to talk. I fought the tears and walk away. He says it’s nothing but isn’t that exactly how these EA’s start? I wrote him a long letter last night and told him I couldn’t handle this anymore – I am sick all the time and definately depressed. I don’t know what’s wrong with me that I can’t let go and just freaking move on with my life. I hope things with you improve – like you, I want to feel normal again!

    • Geri

      My H knew he was doing something that might jeopardize our relationship if I found out. He said ” I didn’t tell you because I did not want to lose you.” So I will chose to just continue lying and betraying you until you find out on your own and force me to make a choice. Is that really choosing me? That ,in my opinion, is the epitomy of a coward. If your partner knows how much they’ve hurt you, which is your responsibility to let them know, and they do it again or continue, time to call it quits.

    • Neuilly

      I just experienced D-day 3. At first he denied and lied and did that whole defensive angry thing until the proof was in his face. Then he crumbled and cried and begged. He came home from the counselor like a born-again ready to start our new life together, free of his addiction to the relationship (a desperate housewife he had dated 30 years ago and reconnected with 5 years ago.) Silly me, I fell for the fawning and passion and instead of kicking him out of the house I gave into make-up sex. So now what do I do? He is a great husband and companion and father with this dark secret and weakness.
      So what do I do? The counselor said I needed to be lovingly detached as he deals with his addiction. But what does that look like? Should I/we tell our grown children who worship him?
      Yep, D-day #3.

    • Geri

      Neuilly
      I cant believe that lovingly detached means tolerating anymore betrayal. Do not tell the kids unless someone is moving out or your divorcing. DDay 3 is 2 more than I think would be possible for me. He may be a great father, but does DDay #3 equal a great husbabd?

    • D

      I am finding that writing things down helps with in dealing with the pain. I keep a journal of my thoughts, fears, and hopes. My counselor told me that it is a good idea to release the thoughts onto paper instead of having them rattle around in your brain. I write it down and then I dont think about it as often. I keep a journal at home and at work. I have from the very beginning. I re-read some of these entries and am amazed at how devastated I was following the first few days. I also compare the entries to now and am shocked at how far that I have come. There are still negative and hurtful feelings that I experience often. My husband also reads the entries that I ask him to and responds immediately. He likes to read what I have down at his own leisure and feels less pressured when giving answers. We dont argue about it as much.

      I am still coping with trust. I imagine scenarios that don’t exist. I think that rebuilding trust is very hard when you have been betrayed. Many people that I am around think that I need to let it go. Easier said than done when they have not had it happen to them. My husband is trying very hard, I appreciate that. I am trying very hard to live my life again after being lied to, deceived, and disrespected by two people. It is not easy and he needs to know that. I love him and want us to work. But I also let him know through my journal and our talks that I am still hurting, no matter how much time has gone by. Especially when the OW is around us constantly (sports, community events). It is a constant reminder to me that this woman was after my husband and that he was after her. When will that go away?

      Keep the faith. Stay strong. Take care.

    • laura

      you are all idiots……….and you wonder why they keep having affairs, ummmm let me think? sorry but jeez your almost asking for them to do it

    • Noe Bramblett

      “Appreciate you sharing, great article.Really getting excited about read more. Will read on…”

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