Many people whom we’ve communicated with have found that the path to accepting their spouse’s infidelity has been easier than the path to forgiving after infidelity.
After being betrayed and hurt so badly by the affair, forgiveness for many may not seem possible anytime soon – if at all. However, acceptance can be an important first step for moving on with your life and to possibly move closer towards healing yourself and your relationship.
So what are some of the elements of acceptance? Acceptance means having to tell yourself the truth about what happened. Acceptance means telling yourself the truth about how it happened to you. Acceptance means telling yourself the truth that the cheater did this to you. Acceptance means that you have to let go of the fantasies and illusions about your marriage and realize that something is wrong.
According to some of the books we have read in the past, it is widely believed that acceptance must come before forgiveness can occur. But you do not want to forgive too soon.
As we have mentioned previously, there can be some major problems if you forgive too soon: Forgiving too soon masks the pain. Forgiving too soon after the affair can let the cheating spouse off the hook. Forgiving too soon after infidelity does not give the betrayed spouse sufficient time to explore what was most upsetting about the affair.
With this in mind, please consider the following questions for discussion…
What does acceptance of the affair mean to you?
Do you feel that you have accepted the affair? Why or why not?
In your opinion, does acceptance make forgiving after infidelity any easier?
Is it possible that you can accept the affair but never forgive it?
As always, please be sure to respond to each other’s comments!
Have a great day!
Linda & Doug[wlsp_signup]