Well the Twitter “sexting” story of Rep. Anthony Weiner has been brewing for about a week or so, and yesterday he finally broke down and decided to tell the truth that he had indeed sent the inappropriate tweets to several women over a three year time span.
In case you missed it last week, he had vehemently, angrily and arrogantly denied that he had actually sent the tweets, even indicating that his account must have been hacked by someone.
Quite frankly his reactions were rather unsurprising considering he is just another cheating spouse. He lied publicly and deflected any questions about the possibility that he was really the person who had sent the tweets. He basically acted as most all cheating spouses do when confronted.
Good Morning America had a few pieces about it this morning and we thought they might be of interest to you. The first video is a highlight of his new conference, the second video is an interview with the woman he was sexting with, and the final video is a discussion with a couple of experts about whether or not sexting and other online flirtations should actually be considered cheating. All of the videos are rather short in duration – even after a short commercial before each video.
Here is a link to an article about his wife (of less than a year) and the prospects of them staying together.
Let us know your thoughts about all of this in the comments below!
12 replies to "Another High Profile Cheating Spouse"
The experts on the video clip attribute his behavior to narcissism, which I think we all have a bit of. Aka selfishness, only concerned with what we want, feeling of entitlement to get what we want no matter who we hurt or what we might lose when exposed. It really is quite amazing how such bright people can do such stupid things that they have to know they will be eventually caught at. But since we all have a bit
of narcissism yet we all don’t have affairs, is it the level of narcissism in one’s personality, is it something else that allows one to cross moral boundaries?? This is very interesting to me.
And if you are married to someone with strong narcissitic traits, what practically can you do to enforce boundaries??
I really think that alot of this has to do with the Senator’s age,and the need for ego stroking. I mean, why does anyone have an affair? Generally,you are searching for “something” that is missing in your relationship at home. In this case,with this sexting,and cyber-tech flirting,you aren’t even getting that one on one contact w/another person. It seems more that its done to FEEL sexy,to know that younger girls find you attractive,to know that you “still got it”,so to speak. And while I completely agree that this is a form of cheating/betrayal,it seems to be post 40 men[Brett Favre]sexting younger women in an effort to “still feel attractive and virile”—Another reason I closed my Facebook account- what a waste. With all this technology out there,and the millions of “friends” on Facebook-its accidents waiting to happen,too tempting for some.
I agree with you SOS. Politicians meet so many people (it’s part of their job) and many let their ego get the best of them. The selfish ones succumb to temptation.
Athletes on the big stage are all about winning. Many have to be selfish to succeed. They carry that selfish “I am the best” attitude with them in their private lives.
As they used to say in the cavemen days; “Spouse Good….. Facebook Bad”. I read that Facebook is now being cited in almost one in five online divorce petitions.
Hey Melvin—I believe that statistic– I remember a news program that my H and I were watching,and the staggering % of people who were having EA/PAs as a result of searching out exes/”old friends”—I suppose sites like Facebook have their good points[I originally joined up to keep in touch w/a neighbor who moved to Florida]-but really they end up just being a pathetic waste of time. Like my H says,”call your friend if you want to speak to her”– These sites are a sign of the times,like the “kids” and all their texting- strangly impersonal,and then so dangerous at the same time. ——Of course,one of the first things I did after my affair,and in order to rebuild my Hs trust was immediately get off Facebook—-We are fortunate,”in the trust department”- I don’t work[I am a disabled RN]-so I don’t have to go “out there” everyday and work along side anyone that my H might be worried about.—-[the fall that gave me my head injury,also herniated 6 discs-so I am unable to lift patients anymore,besides the mental issues i already deal with]—It was this head injury,its effects,and the resulting isolation-that played a huge part in my EA to begin with——–I don’t have alot of friends,and then w/not working-I became REALLY depressed– Anyhow,the fact that I am a SAHM-has been good w/the trust issues because I am not out there everyday with “temptation” so to speak—–[I read on this blog about people out there who work with their OM/OWs-I cant imagine the torture this must be for a hurting spouse]– In reality-I never found anyone enticing,or a temptation anyhow–My situation is just like yours, an ex–someone w/chemistry and lots of old feelings-and boy,was he a shmoozer too-lol—[in fact ,that’s what he does for a living-motivational speaking for companies- my H calls it total BS manipulation]—— I imagine its tough for you to see your DW go to work w/all those men– but -if she’s anything like me-you can relax— I don’t even have the smallest thought of cheating again- I dont even look at men that way—-My H and I have worked on our DITCH[love that term]- and our relationship has been re-newed. I would NEVER hurt him like that again,nor do I want too—– thanks for talking Melvin—Its good to know that there are other couples out there going thru the same thing-and coming out on the positive:) bye
Hi again So Sorry,
Thank you so much for sharing your story and answering my questions. Certainly very interesting especially since it mimic’s ours. Glad to hear your relationship is out of the “DITCH” and back on the Yellow Brick Road. Yeah, I love that word as well.
We are working the trust issue daily – she is aware of my concern with her line of work. I can see her taking more initiative to keep me informed on her meetings, happenings, etc. She has even pointed out a particular businessman that is obviously flirting with her recently. She keeps me abreast on that, which I appreciate. Still, I realize that I can’t control her actions or choices. And I’m not beating her up over this issue either. Just taking it day-by-day, as you say. Cautiously optimistic is the best description. Rebuilding trust is a long term effort, for sure.
Sorry to hear about your injuries. I sure hope everything heals/mends soon and you get back your health.
Best Always.
Hi Melvin—Good morning- Yes,we are definitely on “the yellow brick road”–but as you say,it takes TIME to rebuild that trust. I don’t know if your DW has this issue or not,and I’d be interested to hear.. you talk about being uneasy w/your DW,and her coworkers,and I would imagine,social situations. BUT- I actually feel some uneasiness too- I worry when my H is out alone.Not an overwhelming worry,but just a strange uneasiness. The affair was so completely uncharacteristic of me,so out of left-field,that part of me wonders if my H would ever be capable of doing the same thing? I mean we are in a really great place right now, and those same issues don’t exist to give him any excuse[not that there is one- but you know what I mean}–But I worry that he would maybe do something to “even things up” or to “level the playing field” –I know its incredibly selfish and awful for the person who had the affair to worry about their spouse,but I’m sure its not that uncommon for the DW or DH to go out and “get revenge” in a moment of anger or weakness- My H is a handsome man,and women often chat w/him,flirt a little–I NEVER worried about it before,because he was always appropriate, but now a little part of me wonders that if he is having a bad day-or feeling especialy hurt-would he cross the line??? Did you ever think about going out to “even things up”?? Thanks —-
Hey Melvin _ forgot to answer your other ?—No- I never considered leaving my H for the OM- He was “happily married”-haha–He and his DW were not having sex[she no longer liked it]and she actually encouraged him to find a lover,was happy when he found me—– I know totally bizarre- she and I were actually friends too- I used to think they were so cool- so mature,hip -for her to be ok w/him having sex outside the marriage[since she wanted off the hook] Now I realize how screwed up that is—–But I knew going in that he was never leaving his wife,and I never really wanted to leave my H-I was just searching for that “something” to make me happy—
I could not agree withyou more, regarding facebook. My husband looked up an old Colleage girlfriend and the texting and email and phone conversations began. It lasted 7 weeks until I found out. Thankfully we are in a great place and commited to making our marriage work. In fact this is the best place we have been at in a longgggggg time, we are married 19 years. Since then my husband has closed his facebook account as well as I. Facebook is one of the leading causes of divorces, husband or wife looks up an old boyfriend girlfriend, you know how it goes. Social Networking is distroying marriages.
so sorry- my wife became suspicious of me when she was involved. after d day, hurt spouse with trust issue but before i believe that the involved spouse has trust issues because of what they were doing. in fact on all the lists i have seen on signs of an affair, i dont remember seeing unusual level of suspicion by CS listed. i knew i was in for another round when my wife in councelling said “i know you’ll never leave me” . that “knowledge” made her feel empowered to pursue other man and within a week of that statement they had renewed their interaction. i had to make her believe that contact was a deal breaker and i was leaving to make it stop. truth is if opportunity arose now, i would not hesitate to take it. why not? not as revenge but why deprive oneself of enjoyment when spouse does not recipricate with same level of devotion.
Hi ppl– I am sorry that your wife obviously isn’t ready to let go.At least in my situation,by D-day-I was very ready to end the affair.I mistakenly still wanted to be friends with the OM,but soon realized that this was ridiculous and selfish. Because the affair was something neither of us would ever have expected to happen,not something I did because I knew my H would “always be there”–a little part of me worries that my H isn’t totally immune the attentions of women,like I always thought—In a strange way this is actually a good thing- I won’t take him for granted anymore,and we are making sure we keep our communication open, and that we maintain an acceptable frequency of intimacy too—[when the affair occurred we were hardly ever intimate]—— ppl—your situation,I imagine ,is very difficult. Your wife obviously doesn’t understand how lucky she is that you are standing by her/trying to work out the marriage. If she doesnt worry about the boundaries,and if she just thinks you’ll always be there,no matter what; you definitely need to find a way to “scare her” into a reality-you can’t have your cake and eat it too—– If you end up having an affair too- while it might make you feel better in the moment,it might make your relationship irrepairable. I wish you so much luck-
ppl-
I had to laugh out loud when I read the first part of your post, because one month before D Day, my husband actually scheduled an appointment with our counselor and told her he thought I was having an affair, and, unbeknownst to me, he was in his 7th month of an EA. When the counselor confronted me, I thought I must be in the Twilight Zone. When I found out he was having an affair and I remembered back to him trying to put me on the hot seat for absolutely no reason, I wanted to tear his head off.
Yes, cheaters are suspicious by nature. They are doing it to others, so they expect others to do it back to them, and they are shocked when they find out we are not dirty creeps like they are.
Don’t stoop to her level and cheat. If you can’t take the pain, just leave her. Don’t lose your dignity and respect for yourself by behaving like a person with no morals. Don’t go to the dark side – stay over here with us.
So agree, don’t sully yourself. My H said he thought I would/should have a “revenge” affair. The thought never entered my head! I’m a long way from perfect, but it has never occurred to me to behave this way, and selfishly, I do feel a little “superior” in that I don’t need to do this to make myself feel good. Superior is the wrong word, just true to myself. I do think that the CSs who think/say that you’ll never leave are taking you for granted. I had to kick mine out, twice, and by doing so removed his immediate access to the kids, clean clothes, good meals, free accountant, warmth and love in order for him to do even more to ensure that he deserves me 🙂