We got this touching story from an email and thought we’d share it.  I guess it’s been around on the Internet for awhile so some of you may have already seen it.  It could be pure fiction too but even so I thought it was touching.

Married or Not You Should Read This

married or not you should read thisWhen I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.  But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane.

I didn’t love her anymore.  I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.

The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.  In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce.

She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning.

I thought she was going crazy.  Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life.

My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.

I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to the office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce.

My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us part.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from any negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce. At least, in the eyes of our son – I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.

Do have a real happy marriage! If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.



    19 replies to "A Very Touching Story"

    • Tryinghard

      I’ve seen this and I cannot read it again. Makes me too sad. None of us are here forever.

    • KelBelly

      I had my H read this after I found out about his affair and it really made him think about what he was doing. I didnt know it at the time but about a month or so later, he started talking about it and how it woke him up to what we really had in our marriage that he had blinded himself too.

    • Hopeful

      Not what I was expecting. Uh…

    • Battle born

      This will sound cold hearted but once again the BS pulls her H head out of his ass to bring him back into the real world. What kind of man would have been so callous to not see his spouse was suffering while he was playing the field?

      I realize this is suppose to be a letter filling a purpose, but it is one that shows the CS is a self-serving idiot who did not realize what he had at home until it was too late. I’m sorry but he deserves what he got… My heart strings were pulled by the wife whose only concern was their son who will never know what an ass his dad is.

    • tweet

      “What kind of man would have been so callous to not see his spouse was suffering while he was playing the field?”

      Apparently, the men that we all married.

      • Tryinghard

        Yep!!! Mine included

    • forcryin'outloud

      Tweet, isn’t that the sad truth.

    • exercisegrace

      It tugged at my heart, but then I thought…….win/win for him! He got to be the “good” husband in the end, then bury his wife and pick back up with his slut. Sigh. I really don’t like the jaded person I have become.

      • Recovering

        I too have become jaded. I hate it. I can’t seem to enjoy a movie, or tv show, or song on the radio… can’t go to a restaurant or drive by a hotel. I always feel like a liar because I am not my TRUE self since so many people don’t know…. not that I want to be humiliated even more by everyone knowing, but now I feel like the liar he was… He lied so well and for so long, why should I believe him now? I WANT to, I REALLY do! I think he is really sorry for hurting me, and he takes it when I tell him how sick what he did was, and what a slut the OW is, and apologizes, and holds me when I have an anxiety attack over it all… I WANT to believe he could never do this again…. but I believed he never could in the first place and now look where I am… I used to believe people were inherently good… now I think most people are evil and selfish and it makes me feel lonely… waiting on the world to change….

        • exercisegrace

          Remember the six degrees of Kevin Bacon? Yeah. That’s me with the affair. If I let myself, I can link almost anything back to the affair. I don’t even need all six degrees. LOL. Ok, well that’s really not funny is it? Sadly it’s true much of the time. But I hope I made you laugh!

          I could have written every single word you wrote above. I bash him and apologize. I am angry, depressed and then okay. Sometimes all in the same hour. I want to move forward, and then the voice of doubt whispers too loudly in my ear. What is real? What is true?……What he told me before the affair? During? Now? I used to know who I was, who we were, and my feet were on solid ground. I was blessed and I knew it. Maybe that’s why this is so very hard. My therapist says the depth of my pain speaks to how good our marriage really was, and how much we love(d) each other. If it sucked before the affair, it wouldn’t be so hard to cope with now. I think there is a lot of truth in that.


          We just feel like we don’t have the means
          To rise above and beat it
          So we keep waiting
          Waiting on the world to change

          Sorry! Had to do it! You got that song stuck in my head. TAG you’re it!!!!!!

    • WriterWife

      What’s interesting is that when I started reading this I thought it was going in a different direction. I thought that the wife was forcing the husband to physically remove her from his life, every day, so that he would be truly aware of what he was doing. She was making him make physical what he wanted to do emotionally. I imagined that would make a rather large statement — so often we do things without really thinking through the consequences. It seems to me that facing those consequences — physically removing your spouse from your marital home every morning — would make a pretty powerful statement.

    • Symac

      This is painful to read, because while my husband was having his affairs, I had discovered a lump in my breast. Back and forth with tests, finally after 3 months and a biopsy, they gave me the all clear. I thank God it wasn’t cancer, as there is history in my family, but like I told my husband – I was staring a possible death sentence in the face and all you could think about was your coworker and your dirty pics and whatever else went on between you. Not even a CANCER SCARE could make you stop what you were doing! It’s so sad, the man I was married to for a decade is like a stranger to me now. Heartbreaking.

    • Strength required

      I have read this before, and it is terribly sad.
      It’s amazing how devoted we are to our marriages, it should say something to our h, that growing together, creating a family, taking in each others good and bad, feeling of being comfortable together, is actually a good thing. Who in their wildest dreams would want to try and do that again with someone new, only knowing that it won’t e t same the next time.
      Why ruin a good thing, for a ow, who has no self respect, and no respect for this man or his family. See how quickly, when the hard times hit, how the ow turns her back on him.
      One thing I will remember, I have had the best years of my h’s life, if my h goes to her, she gets the years after his best years, see if she would be devoted to my h, as old age gets closer and closer.
      I am going to read this to my h when he gets home and hopefully it will strike a cord with him. Although he tells me that I’m his and he isn’t interested in the ow, that he isn’t talking to her, I find it hard to believe right now.
      As ssomeone mentioned earlier, you go through stages of anger, anxiety, hurt, fear of losing your loved one, then you start thinking to yourself , am I stupid, have I lost all repect for myself for staying, you get yourself all psyched up to believe that you can let him be with the ow, then you fall again into, why should I let her ruin my family, why should I let her take my life, I have worked hard for my life, just to let her have it.
      You are already humiliated, that this could happen to your family, wonder on how many people know, how many people sit there saying, what did she do wrong to have her h stray.
      Then it’s the humiliation of feeling foolish, with what is being said behind your back to the ow, by your h. How they must be having a good laugh at my expense because I don’t know they are together or even communicating with each other constantly. What a joke you feel your life has become.
      For me now, I have realized that, maybe it is a sign for me, that after all I have been through from miscarriages, difficult pregnancies, going through grief of almost losing my little girl at 9 mths of age, going through depression, then finding out that some stupid woman thinks that it’s ok to ruin my family, ruin my h and my life, due to my h depression and mid life crisis.
      It seems to me as a sign that only good can come of all of this for me, and that is to use my life’s difficult experiences and become a councilor to help others suffering from trauma, grief, depression, marital problems and loss.
      It may have taken a long time to realize what I am supposed to do with my life, but I will be damned if I let this ow, drag me down to her level of mass destruction that she leaves in her path, happy at destroying lies, for me helping people is far a better option to me, to gain happiness again.

    • rachel

      my divorce is less than 3 months away. My h now misses me and wants me back. WTF!

      • Tryinghard

        Three words. Make him beg!!! Seriously? What the heck happened? I hate men, ok not really.

    • Strength required

      Rachel, what do you want? Do you want him? Are you willing to forgive his betrayal? Are you willing to work on your marriage together?
      It’s hard not to know whether to run for your life or to follow your heart and try and trust again.
      I wish you all the best, and I hope your h can prove his worthiness of you.

    • Rachel

      Of course I want him. I miss him terribly. I new he rushed into this divorce. His father died on Thursday . His emotions are all over the place. His father didn’t approve of what he did. I feel it’s all guilt, loneliness and guilt.

      • Carol

        Rachel – please for your own sake take lots of time to think about this. He has just lost his father, he’s grieving, and he’s put you through hell. Make him earn his way back, good and slow. I hope you’ll take the time to consider what is best for your life and whether he can really be the man you deserve.

    • Strength required

      I know my h suffers with guilt, believe me they know that life really isn’t greener on the other side. My h knows it, yet he is addicted to her. I know the more I press it to let her go, he gets stressed, e just can’t handle right now her reactions, due to getting his feet back on the ground for our business, and trying to fix our life. He knows, and deep down I know too, she will not stop, he just needs to be strong enough to not take her calls, yet he believes f he doesn’t answer her, she will start waiting for him at our place of business and he doesn’t want to make a scene.
      I know it’s hard rachel, I have cried practically everyday for 15mths because of this, and wonder how my h could let this happen, but I’m at the point now where I’m tired, emotionally tired, he wants our family, I want him to stay, I don’t wan to push him to her, so I need to wait it out.
      However I will get on my feet while I wait, and I won’t act like her victim anymore, I won’t give her the benefit of knowing that she gets to me, I will be the better person, I know I am.
      My kds deserve our family to stay together, especially if we all want the same thing.
      If he chooses her, I won’t fall again, I will move forward and watch his life with her fall apart, as it is bound to in the end, their relationship was based on lies, and hurt, betrayal and guilt, our was based on love honor and respect.
      Somewhere along the line my h forgot that momentarily.
      Good luck, and all the best for your fil funeral. My deepest condolences.

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