Dr. Bob HuizengaEvery week I spend quite a bit of time searching for new content for our private members area, and not too long ago I came across a nice interview with Dr. Bob Huizenga.  (Actually, it found me by way of my email inbox!)

If you don’t know by now, Dr. Huizenga is the author of “Break Free from the Affair” along with a few other infidelity and relationship related programs. 

I feel that this particular interview is most appropriate for those of you who have recently discovered your spouse’s affair or are otherwise in the early stages of recovering and healing from an affair.

That said, even if you are further along you will surely find some helpful nuggets.

In this hour-long audio interview Dr. Huizenga addresses 12 of the top infidelity questions that you might have. 

It’s good stuff and should be beneficial to many of you.

Here are the 12 infidelity questions that Dr. Huizenga addresses:

  • Is it a bigger problem when an affair happens early in a committed relationship or marriage compared to an affair that happens in a fairly longer marriage?
  • List of do’s and don’ts for a betrayed spouse.
  • How does the betrayed spouse deal with an angry cheater?
  • Should I force a decision?
  • Why won’t the wayward spouse work on the marriage after the affair?
  • Why is the need to know details sometimes powerful?
  • Should the betrayed spouse expose the affair?
  • What barriers does the cheating spouse have in healing the marriage after the affair?
  • Once a cheater, always a cheater?
  • How to rebuild the trust, especially when the other person continues to be co-workerof the wayward spouse?
  • How does one deal with flashbacks and nightmares?
  • What are the dynamics of forgiveness?
See also  Discussion – Sex and Infidelity

 You can listen to the interview here:


(You can also right click here and “Save As…” to save it to your computer for future listening.)


“Knowledge is power. Knowledge will free you from the tyranny of your self-degrading and hopeless thoughts and feelings.”

(I saw that on Dr. Huizenga’s site and believe it to be true)


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A  member’s only area where the focus will be on recovering and healing from infidelity through interaction with us,  a supportive community, access to volumes of materials and resources, and guidance from those who have been down this road before.

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    3 replies to "12 Top Infidelity Questions Answered"

    • Battleborn

      The first question is interesting and revealing. In my opinion, if I had found out about his affair in our first years, I would have left. I would have known he wasn’t trustworthy nor would he be worthy of my love. Now that we have been married 20 years, my decision was based on our history and my love for him. I have learned over the years that he is a good man although he made a serious and damaging mistake. I have matured through the years and can work through my anger and hurt with his help. I doubt I could have done that in the beginning.

      Many may not agree but as a marriage ages it becomes a deep love, a deep understanding of each other, we learn to accept ALL of the quirks of our spouse. It is a marriage that has gone beyond the goo goo eyes and sexual escapades that most young marriages go through, it is the next stage of our lives. And it is because of this later stage of a marriage that I believe that the longer you are married the better chance you have of staying and trying to save your marriage.

    • david

      The 2 year anniversary of my wife leaving me and choosing him to live with is this friday coming.
      ive probably done as much harm trying to reunite with her as good.
      We have been together for 30 years.
      Its a textbook “my marriage made me do it ” affair. Have experianced 7 failed tryies to unite following the anouncement of “the end with him ”
      Each time denied because she returned to him each time leaving me alone and confused.
      But none the less determined.
      I have provided financial assistance to her thruout this ordeal to prevent her complete demise.
      She had her car repoed last month. I loaned her the money to buy vehical so she wouldnt loose job. This weares on me heavaly since im basickly paying for another man to enjoy my wife.
      But am affraid to allow her to fail.
      I still feel its my duty to protect her.
      I also feel she is trying to punish herself by causing herself to loose everything. So she gets what d
      She thinks she deserves as her punishment.
      Im affraid for her and dont know what to do.
      Im affraid im loosing her forever.
      Im affraid ill push her further away thru my efforts. Which is one of the signs of this type case.
      Like i said its text book.

      • Cindy

        You have to move on, sorry, she’s not coming back! You seem like a really nice and caring guy. After 30 years she knows what to say and how to say it to get what she wants, and your playing right in to her hands. Break off everything with her, heal yourself and get back out there find someone new and be happy!

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