January 25th will be the 34-year anniversary of our first date. We were 18-year-old freshmen in college at the time and we’ve been together ever since.
Our first date was to a fraternity party. We joke that it wasn’t a blind date, but a deaf date as we had seen each other around campus and we both ate in the same dining hall, however we had never actually spoken to one another.
Her roommate at the time was dating a buddy of mine and this big frat party was coming up and I didn’t have a date yet, so they thought it was a good idea to fix us up.
Frats were big where we went to school. In a lot of ways a good social life was dependent on getting into one. Back then they had rush during a two week period in January and there was this fraternity that I sort of liked and they sort of liked me. It was one of the biggest and most popular frats on campus and this was an invitation only party and I figured I had a good shot to make the cut.
But this was an important party too, as rush was winding down and I had to make a good impression on many of the other frat members in order to secure a spot. I had to make my rounds, mingle, kiss ass and basically put on airs so that I would get chosen as a new pledge.
Well, things didn’t quite go as planned because here I was on my first date with this gorgeous girl and I spent all of my time talking and getting to know her instead of the frat boys. I didn’t care.
We had a great time at the party. I know we drank a lot, danced a bunch and stuck together like glue the whole night. We even had a great time walking the two miles back to her dorm in the freezing cold.
When we got back to her dorm room we discovered that her roommate had her boyfriend over for the night, so she couldn’t stay there. So we went back to my place and wouldn’t you know, my roommate had a “guest” over as well.
We wound up staying at my buddy’s (the one who was dating Linda’s roommate) room on the top bunk. Since neither of us had anywhere to go, we spent the night together – but all we did was talk and laugh until we fell asleep around 4 or 5 in the morning. So technically we slept together on our first date.
That brings us to our discussion this week. It’s a little different this week and we’re hoping it can be a little fun…
What’s the story of your first date with your spouse?
What did you do? Where did you go? What were your first impressions?
Did you know he/she was the one right away?
By the way, I didn’t get into the frat after all. Seems I didn’t get around to meeting many of the current members. What a shocker. I didn’t give a shit really as I suddenly had other interests.
That first date was the start of a whirlwind romance and we were pretty much inseparable for the rest of our college days and beyond.
Linda & Doug
LINESPACE
20 replies to "Discussion – What Was Your First Date Like?"
Lovely x.
I was working a summer job in the thoroughbred breeding industry in my home town. My family had moved away so I was flitting with two of mt work mates, two beauruful Swedish girls! I had technically just finished my fourth year at uni, but I had dropped out near the end of my third and worked at a similar job within the same company I was at this summer. My flatties and I went to our local twilight race meeting after work. I “met” him there. I also already knew who he was. He had gone out with an old school friend of mine a few years earlier. I was only 20 as I was a year and a bit ahead of my class mates and had gone to uni early. I had only had two boyfriends previously really, and hadn’t had sex with either of them.
We clicked immediately, spending the night joking and laughing, he stayed by my side until it was time to leave when he offered to take my flattie, Susanne, and I home. We accepted. He dropped us home. The joke has always been that he was keen on the gorgeous Swede but I left my handbag in his ute! I didn’t even notice until the next day when I got home from work and he called around with my handbag and an invitation to go out for drinks. (He was never interested in Susanne! ) I accepted, he waited while I quickly showered and we went out for one of the nicest nights out, with an intelligent, thoughtful and very witty man, he stayed the night, also just talking and cuddling. And he was parked on my doorstep almost every night after work from then until I dropped out of uni for the second time and moved in with him just five weeks later. Years later he admitted he had always noticed me, first as a fifteen year old, waitressing, then as my friend’s “hot” (???) friend who went to uni at the other end of the country. I hadn’t taken anynotice of him. He was very tall, very skinny, quite nice looking, but must be up himself (his girlfriend was very into herself, very materialistic, and out to catch a rich man) so I had pre-judged him as probably the same. I couldn’t be further from the truth. He was kind, sweet, incredibly sexy and sensual, and unbelievably strong, bith mentally, and despite his skinny frame, physically! We were totally smitten and our honeymoon phase lasted at least three or four years. I always totally adored and respected him.
Very nice story Paula. Thank you for sharing!
Aargh, phone screens! *flatting, *my, *beautiful….
I was 18 he was 20, my first year away at school, 27 years ago last month – a mutual friend introduced us and I was instantly smitten and we did end up going home together, gotta love college life. I had never (and haven’t since) been in love, although I had dated like a total boss. And I was so bowled over by this handsome, affectionate, athletic, sexy and insanely funny red head. And how lucky was I that he felt the same way about me, I was the luckiest girl in the world. After a few weeks, I decided that a serious relationship probably wasn’t what I was looking for at 18, and I explained that to him. He said absolutely no way are we not going to be together – this is so fun, I’m not letting you go. The city where we met is still one of my favorite cities in the world. Oh did I fall hard. 27 years of insane travel, parties, friends, family, a pack of kids, amazing dogs, side splitting adventures, businesses, a house that is my favorite place on earth, and until last year, no drama. No one in my life has ever made me feel better about myself (or worse, see name of blog) or made me laugh harder than my h, the only man I have ever loved. One dinner with him and my eyes are so swollen and my cheeks so tear stained from belly laughing, it looks like I’ve been in a scrap. And all things considered, I hope I get to spend the rest of my life with him, I sincerely hope it’s in the cards. It’s a good thing to remember what brought us together, and so easy to stash it away. Today is a day I can look back fondly, so I’ll sit with the happy memories for today.
Thanks Jeddy. Very nice story of your first date. I’m betting deep down he has the same fond memories and feelings.
We too met in college. He was polar opposite of any previous boyfriend. He was not my race, not my type and I was sure he was a player. We were briefly introduced by a mutual friend on a Thursday night at the campus bar (drinking age 18 then). He was handsome with a great smile. I had just ended a very very serious relationship a few months before and was not interested in dating.
A few days later we ran into each other again and he did not remember me. I guess he forgot our very brief meeting and quick “hello”. His next comments were off-putting and I came to realize I did not really like him and was not interested.
We kept running into each other the next few weeks on campus and started talking. We became very interested in each other. He was funny, very smart, handsome and honest. Not a player at all.
We had a series of events that kept getting in the waupy of a relationship, but when we finally went on that first date, it was wonderful. We celebrated 30 years together last fall and 25 as a happily married couple.
I am not romanticizing our relationship, it was what we truly had over the past 25 years. We still laugh often and like spending time together. It is so funny how for a brief period of time I did not even like him as I had the wrong impression. Fate is a funny thing.
Thanks for sharing CBB
We met when I was 18 and he was 20. The first time I saw him was when a friend and I were driving around and were parked at a traffic light. He was parked next to us. My friend and I looked at each other and said hmm, not bad…. Then drove off.
The next night I was dropping the same friend off to a night club, as she was meeting someone there. Next thing he came up to me and asked if I was going to come in, turns out he was a friend of the person my friend was meeting. I told him no, I wasn’t dressed for night clubbing at all, as I was just dropping her off. Yet he talked me into going home and coming back to meet him.
We were with each other everyday from then on.
Meeting a guy who you saw at a traffic light, huh? Just like in the movies. Thanks SR.
Doug, it was funny to see him at a set of lights one night, it was just like a quick glimpse, we looked at each other for just a second, then that was it, didn’t even think anything of it, so to meet him the following night and to be with him everyday after that, just seemed like fate.
Funny thing as well, there were girls that very first night that were wanting to be with my him, and yet a young man I knew (which I didn’t find out about until several months later) that he had gone upto my h and said ” she won’t stay with you, you won’t last, she knows me and I know what she wants. I will bet you that” my h had turned to him and said “we will see”
Funny enough, we never went back there. Lol
I was in 9th grade and he was in 10th grade. My girlfriends parents went to Europe every summer so we decided to have a secret party. We covered the basement windows with cardboard so no one could see the lights and snuck everyone in the backdoor. Her boyfriend brought his best friend which was my hubby. We talked for hours that night and I could see he wanted to hold my hand because he kept moving it towards me and when he finally did it was so sweaty! Then he asked me if I wanted to go for a drive and I said ok. As we walked to the car I soon realized it was a maxi van and it had a mattress in the back!!! (His dad used it for construction work and frequently had to stay onsight) I thought OMG what have I got myself into but he was a total gentlemen and in fact it took him 5 weeks to even kiss me and only because I was leaving for vacation. He called me the next day and he came and met my mom. She was appalled. He was the inner city kid and I was the suburban uptown girl and no way was she going to let me date him but despite the odds we made it work and dated for 7years until we finished college. We met in 1973. 41 years ago. We have 4 beautiful children and 2 grandchildren.
High school sweethearts. That’s awesome Broken.
Broken, when my mum met my h the following day of us meeting, as we were going to go out, we had the other couple with us, my mum turned to me and said “who is that? He looks rough” lol. My dad on the other hand shook his hand. Yet I realised it was the person my friend liked that was the rough one, I wasn’t really a fan of him, reminded me of a gremlin. Lol. It didn’t work out for my friend or my h friend, they only saw each other a couple more times after that.
Well, as I suspected, a LOT of young people (when they met) here. I have noticed that, like these cheaters feel they have somehow missed a youth? I know I was VERY aware that I felt I was far too young to be committing for a lifetime – there was so much single living to be done. That said, he was 24, and had done a “lot of living” despite those tender years, including a lot of travel, and worked overseas for two years, “enough” lovers, etc. But, I still wonder. I have never been a huge fan of women settling down too young, as I feel we can too easily tend to “limit” ourselves, our careers and futures (as it tends to be us that do the majority of career sacrifice to bring up children, and the majority of the domestic chores, therefore leaving us further down the career ladder, and more financially vulnerable than men of the same age, or single, and/or childless women.) Just my take on this. A bit of a case of, “I told you so, Paula!” One of my real frustrations, I suspected we were too young, and dammit, I might just have been right, lol!
Back to parental thoughts, I know because I moved in quickly, I was nervous about telling my mum, and I put it off for several weeks – but when I phoned and told her, she was very supportive, even though she had never met him, and I was very young – she trusted me to make sensible decisions, I guess. She loved him once she did meet him, and was always extremely supportive, even when I discovered I was pregnant with our first, whilst I was living and working overseas (without him!)
Paula, I think there is something to say even though most of us were young when we met our significant others, and stayed with each other for several decades still in love and committed to that person, then I think we did pretty darn good at finding that one person that completed us for so long and in some cases still do complete us.
Yes maybe our cs did start questioning themselves as well as our feelings for each other, maybe they wanted some youth feeling back, but that really had nothing to do with the life we created with them. If it did we would never have stayed together for as long as we did, and no one wants to stay in a loveless marriage.
Some women may especially if they don’t have any skills that would enable them to raise their children independently, as well as some that will remain so the children have both parents until they are old enough to no longer be dependant.
I have seen that happen a lot, where parents break up after the children have grown.
My point is Hun, is we should be proud of being able to say, we had a marriage that lasted several decades. No one knows what the future holds, we found partners at a young age, we more or less grew up with this person, we got to know them more than anyone else, we took on their good and bad, and accepted them, and they accepted ours. I won’t ever regret marrying my h, we have a beautiful family, we have a bond, a love that is worthy of holding on to. Even if our marriage didn’t make it, after his ea, I still won’t regret having spent most of my life with him. He was a wonderful husband and father. The ow in my life would never have been able to match what we have.
We may have been young, but we followed our hearts because it felt right. I truly think we were all very lucky to have found such a love that lasted longer than many others.
I think that is something to be proud of. Who knows, if we had passed up on our spouses back then, what would the next person have been like, probably never would have lasted near as long, because there was something not quite right. Who knows.
Be proud of what you had Paula, think fondly of your memories with your h, no one can take that away from you.
No one can take that away from you unless you let them, because it was real love…
Strength, my comment wasn’t about regrets, more about recognising a pattern and then amateur analysing it 🙂 How can you possibly regret 25 years of love, passion, partnership and parenting? We still love and admire each other, no question. But it is an interesting observation. That said, plenty of our friends who married older/later had infidelity issues, too. The difference appears to me to be those people have moved on and had more resilience than many who were partnered younger. Just my opinion ;-).
Paula, all I want for you is to not let anyone take away from you all the wonderful memories you have. These ow that tried to ruin us, don’t deserve the satisfaction of seeing us fall any further than what they had put us through. I think that ow has taken enough, and caused enough pain.
Maybe a reason the ones that have partnered up at an older age, have been able to move on easier after infidelity is because they didn’t grow up with that person, sharing their younger years, and have matured with each other like many of us who have grown up together and have built up a stronger bond in some ways. It’s interesting…