Good Wednesday!
The use of cell phones, Facebook and other forms of social media have really gotten out of hand in my opinion. It’s rare these days to go somewhere and not see the majority of people walking around with their cell phones plastered to their ears or otherwise mesmerized by whatever is on their phone screen at the time.
A couple of weeks ago Linda and I were in a restaurant with some friends and I couldn’t help but notice that there was a family of 5 sitting across the way from us. Four of them were firmly glued to their cell phones. Only the dad was not, as he was fixated on a football game that was airing on about 50 large screen TVs.
I noticed not one word spoken between them until they were ready to leave. Such a nice family night out, don’t you think? I almost felt like going over to their table to chastise them. Fortunately, I didn’t have enough liquid courage in me at that point.
The other thing I noticed was that the mom was really going at it on her phone. Texting, Facebooking, whatever. I quipped to Linda: “I bet she’s having an affair with someone.”
We’ve blogged about the prevalence of Facebook when it comes to infidelity before, and it just seems that things we have seen and heard recently indicate that it’s use – along with other social media, texting and email – have become even more prevalent for conducting various forms of cheating.
This leads to our discussion for this week…
What role has social media and technology played in your or your spouse’s affair?
Do you think that social media and technology play a role in erasing boundaries and inhibitions, along with increasing temptation?
How are you managing or monitoring these avenues that exist between social media and infidelity?
Remember to respond to each other in the comments!
Thanks,
Linda & Doug
[wlsp_signup]LINESPACE
45 replies to "Discussion – Cell Phones, Social Media and Infidelity"
Crims, where do I start? I’m with you on the sadness of seeing families mute with each other whilst bigging themselves up virtually to all and sundry on FB (“Yay, eating at Nandos with the family” – while noone speaks to each other).
My H couldn’t have got into porn quite so much as he did without his blackberry as he downloaded and watched the things on his phone before transferring them onto his works pc.
He didn’t start his PA with phone use, but after the PA in Boston it became an EA simply because they could text, email and BBM each other as much as they liked and in complete secrecy. As she lived in the states this wouldn’t have been so easy if he’d been restricted to his work email through work time and no use on his phone. Skype meant they also got to actually see each other, albeit virtually, and so keep the excitement going (goodness only knows what they showed each other by skype).
But you can’t stop technology and really all that technology has done with infidelity is speed it up to warp speed. Those pleasure hits from getting a text, and another and another and another from your secret person must play havoc with the brain. Waiting for a letter to arrive just wouldn’t be the same. The technology is itself just a fast forward button. I truly believe that without BBM and smartphones my H’s affair would have petered out smply due to distance but then again, he probably would have picked up with a new one somewhere more handy instead.
They do also encourage reckless behaviour that can’t be erased, like young girls sending images of themselves to their boyfriends and then those images doing the rounds eventually to the mortification of the girl. The fast forward effect means that boundaries get pushed so quickly and before any consequences have come home to roost.
I suppose because I’m a lawyer I always review the risk of what I do, professionally and personally. This is something my H still criticises me for and did do during his affair. Basically I wasn’t reckless or exciting enough because I wasn’t sending images of my naked self to someone on the other side of the planet like she was.
Technology is great and I don’t have an issue with technology. If someone chooses to cheat then they’ll go ahead and make use of anything available to them. CSs who aren’t technically savvy manage it all well enough without the need for internet and smartphones.
The EA began offline, through collaboration in a group. There, they felt attraction to each other, But, yes, e-mail was the place where they cultivated a false sense of intimacy,carried out the bulk of their relationship, and played out their “support” for one another. It allowed them to be the ideal person to each other, taking time to carefully craft exotic stories and smart quips designed to entice subtly. Both were in committed relationships and e-mail provided unchecked privacy. I’m sure it was exciting and thrilling to receive and send these messages. The risky nature could feel safer because it could be justified as ‘just friends’. (e.g. they felt something special…an intimacy unknown and rare in human existence…not a disgusting affair and betrayal). Oh please.
FB was how my CS was able to reconnect with an ex girlfriend and this was the start of the EA. This then progressed to private FB messages, emailing, texting and private phone conversations. It definitely played a big role in allowing boundaries to be crossed and I also heard the ‘its just a friend’ justification. These new technologies also made it much easier to carry on the contact unawares to me and delete much of the evidence. I dont blame FB for my CS infidelity – I think that this tool provided my HB an opportunity! and this made it easier for my HB to seek out and then justify the contact he was having with his ex and gave him an avenue to escape his unhappy existence at the time.
Loyal wife: My D-day was the day my H told me he had “just” found an ex-girlfriend on FB. When I heard her name I felt like he had punched me in the gut! At that moment I knew something was up and I started my investigation. Little did I know that she was the tip of the iceberg. Once I got a hold of his passwords and phone records I discovered so many freaking EAs he had been having behind by back and under my nose for YEARS! I changed the password to all the email accounts I could find that belonged to him. Then I went into all the dating sites, sex forums, escort reviews and all the crap I could find on the internet. All I had to do was ask for a new password and putting in his email addresses and BINGO! I got over 15 stupid sites he had signed up to. From looking for fuckbuddies to discussing sexual encounters with other filthy cheaters. I’ve made a copy of the shit I found and will be showing it to him pretty soon. I’ve already told him what I found and he has apologized for being so stupid and going so low. Telling him is one thing but showing him what MY EYES SAW is very different. I want him to see with his own eyes what I saw and what I felt when I read all that crap (I’ve made comments to all the garbage he wrote). After this I believe I’ll be done with the healing process. We’re 2.5 years from D-day and he’s come a long way in terms of becoming a real husband and a real man. Trusting him blindly again will NEVER happen. Trusting him enough to live at peace is slowly happening. I will never let my guard down again, I will never be so stupid as to not check his emails or phone records. He hasn’t complained about this. He’s said that everything is there for me to see and he is not hiding anything anymore… time will tell.
Every social media outlet contributed and sped up ‘things’ in my H’s inappropriate relationships discovered with other women, during our 27 year marriage. Actually it was within our then 25 year marriage 2 years ago, that i realized all of that. And to think every time i paid the cell bill, the cable/internet bill, i PERSONALLY was ‘allowing’ all that communication to go on, makes me quite sick to my stomach. But who knew? Trust takes away any inhibitions when its as blind and as true as was mine. Never Again. But once again, who knew? It was a whole different existence, back then (‘before’ discovery. It’s hard to even remember what life was like back then.) Remembering, feels like bouts of PTSD i’m experiencing…
Yes, i still check his account every once in a while. I still check the detail of the monthly cell phone bill too. If i had been doing those things while the affair was happening, i could have at least cut it off sooner ( the last 3 weeks of it were the most damaging)….oh well…at least now i know….
My H’s EA began with his fascinated and frenetic search on social media of his past friendships. Of course this led to finding his HS gfriend from 20 yrs ago. They began the typically email/cell ph reconnection that led to my H making a special trip out of state to see her. Ironically she wasn’t who she presented herself as nor how he remembered her. As our therapist said to me, “be thankful the reality didn’t live up to the fantasy.” The issue is people are “photoshopping” their lives with social media and technology…target marketing at its finest. For my husband it was an escape out of the issues we were facing into a world that seemed more delightful only it’s not all real.
My husband’s EA/PA began with someone he interacted with via phone meetings for work. That progressed to texting, emailing and IM’ing. It progressed to an EA before they ever met face to face. Let me say that again…..BEFORE they met face to face they had crossed too many boundaries and their relationship was inappropriate. The 24/7 access along with the secretive nature of those forms of communication made this all very easy. When you are not interacting face to face, mostly communicating through the written word, it DOES make it easy, as Virginia says, to “photoshop” your life. How many of us even typing here, edit and delete our thoughts before pressing the leave comment button? By the time they met face to face, they already thought they “knew” each other. They had formed opinions of each other, and they were well on the way to a PA. It was almost a forgone conclusion. I can remember a day when talking on the phone was done on a corded phone, in full hearing distance of the entire house. There were no computers to sneak off to, no cell phones to hide texts and make calls from secret locations. 46! I completely agree that technology removes inhibitions and it definitely erases boundaries. There is a freedom in the anonymity of texting or chatting, that does not exist when you are talking to someone face to face, looking them in the eyes, reading body language, etc. You can say whatever, be whatever.
How are we managing these today? Well, we have an agreement that I can look at his phone, email etc. And he can also look at mine. Having said that, I think such agreements are pretty meaningless. Let’s be honest. If someone wants to have an affair, have hidden communication, it is all too easy. In a matter of minutes I could set up a hotmail, google, or yahoo email account. I could buy a pre-paid phone. It comes down to trying to learn to trust again. He conducted his affair right under my nose. LIterally. They worked out of our home. I bought all the lies, deceptions, “just a friend” excuses. Never again. My instincts are right and I will never doubt them in the future. While I won’t say that I will “never” look at his email or his phone, it’s not a healthy place for me. I can either trust him or I can’t. If I ever feel like I need to install spyware on his computer, then I am DONE.
Ahhh, the magic word TRUST. I discovered my H’s activities because his habit of lying and keeping things from me to avoid unpleasantness eroded my trust in him so I started looking at his cell phone and tracing phone #s with the internet. That went on for a while and the one “She is just a friend” called him when he had left his phone and I listened to an email. What a wonderful holiday memory that is! Then 1 month later I found his email password in his briefcase and looked at his email and holy cr*p! I found an EA he started with a woman from work 6 weeks earlier! I confronted the situation(he hid out at his sister’s house in FL for a few days, we talked and “agreed” to attend counseling and work on our marriage. He came home and we went out of town together for a couple days as he needed to do for work. We came back home I did some deeper looking at the email activity and holy cr*p! AGAIN I found he was on Match.com looking for “something”! So in a nutshell , my H was able to do all this because of cell phones, email and social media. I was able to discover it all because even though my trust in him was eroded, he had total trust in me. He knew then as he knows now I am honest, I don’t lie, I don’t withhold info to avoid unpleasantness, I don’t cheat. He NEVER thought I would ever find out what was going on which is why he didn’t delete phone calls, didn’t delete any emails, etc…As so many have stated these people are immature selfish children living in a fantasy world. All this garbage happened almost 2 yrs ago, we are still struggling and have the added stress that my H resents that I look at emails and have the phone records on the internet. He resents me! Needless to say Doug, my husband is not like you at all, he doesn’t get it.
As most people have posted on here, if someone wants to cheat they will do and infidelity was going on long before computers / mobile phones / Internet were invented but all the technology we now use makes it all to easy. People’s social boundaries (and common sense) are bypassed by technology. A flirty comment is certainly easier to type than to say to someone’s face! It puts a ‘make believe / it’s not really cheating / it’s a bit if harmless fun’ around it that quickly turns into a EA.
Wow Bonnie, you just named something that I have been struggling with. Something that I have not been able to articulate.
“even though my trust in him was eroded, he had total trust in me. He knew then as he knows now I am honest”
This just leaped out at me. It gives a voice to a pain inside of me right now. It wasn’t just that I was lied to and deceived. It isn’t just that he cheated. It was that my husband took advantage of my very nature. He trusted in MY trust, to commit his acts of infidelity. He counted on me believing the lies because I am an honest person. And there is the core of why this all HURTS SO MUCH. I am crying as I type this. You have put into words something that I couldn’t quite reach. Thank you.
Exercisegrace, thank you for acknowledging that my sharing some of my life situation with others made a positive difference for someone! I think while every poster has a personal story to tell about how they ended up in a relationship devastated by cheating the emotions about it are basically the same-hurt, pain, anger, confusion, fear, depression, anxiety, betrayal, you know it all. As I said, it is almost 2 years since I found out his secret life. While overall my thoughts and feelings are much less intense, there are just moments when a trigger happens and I am right back to January 2011. I have been in counseling all this time, my husband went 2 times, stated he shouldn’t have done what he did, then refused to attend anymore sessions. Basically I think he didn’t want to come back to the marriage but something which he is unable/unwilling to express brought him back. We were struggling in the marriage due to poor communications and extreme financial problems(my husbands). Oh yes, I am a crazy, sick, horrible person, so at the end of the day, everything my husband did-lying about money, keeping information from me, deceptions, etc were justified. My counselor thinks it still very interesting that while my husband will not attend counseling but says I am a sick crazy person, he is angry that I am attending and thinks the therapist is “filling my head with a lot of shit”. I have to agree there is craziness in my marriage!
Exercisegrace…..at one point during my H’s EA, the cow asked him “Doesn’t your wife check your cell phone?” His response ” No, she trusts me”….so yea, I understand how you feel….I’ve told my H numerous times, “You used my goodness against me”. I will never forget that….not in a million years.
Yes, Bonnie and Exercise grace, I was in exactly the same situation. I have been called insecure, jealous, psychotic, a fat lazy 50 year old whatever by both my husband and his girlfriend because I “snooped”on them. That really makes sense, because I dated this guy for 3 years and was married to him for 5 years before I ever committed any “invasion to his privacy” . I didnt even know his frigging phone was locked cause I never bothered it, or his email, or questioned things he said cause I thought he was a truthful person. It is on him, not me, that he is not. I will make sure that any future women he is involved with know his character flaws cause he is very sanctimonious and every one thinks he is just Mr. Wonderful. What a joke.
I think it’s hysterically ironic that my husband thinks it’s more wrong that I read the crap he wrote to another woman than the fact that he actually wrote it. but you know what, this guy is not an idiot. The time cheaters spend trying to convince you they did nothing wrong is actually time they are trying to convince themself of that, nothing more.
Gizfield, you are so right. I was called crazy, paranoid, sick, destructive. I was told I needed medication, therapy, etc. Ironic that when I finally started to think maybe I WAS crazy, and needed to seek counseling for jealousy issues he shut that down immediately. Affair fog is a very real thing. All the lies, all the things that are said, are to protect the affair and justify actions taken during the affair. My husband doesn’t even remember half of the stuff he said, is very remorseful now and says it feels like I am talking about someone else. If only.
I think the Betrayed Spouses must have a “fog” of their own, lol. I was definitely not in my right mind to put up with any of this garbage. ughhhh, makes me sick to even think about it. news flash, cheaters: jealousy and disgust are NOT the same thing.
His latest favorite is “you’ re a spoiled little princess who stamps her foot when you dont get your own way. ” well I guess if you’re talking about my husband running around with a whore behind my back, I would say thats an accurate assessment, lol.
I was also told I am not a Christian, and an unforgiving bitch cause I can’t forgive him for lying and consorting with a tramp for almost four years behind my back cause he stopped three months ago, and that should just be good enough for me, lol. After all, she had such high morals she wouldn’t even screw him. Oh yes, I believe that!
Excersise grace,
I was the same way. I was so hurt, confused, depressed and sick. My dr. even said that I was going through a nervous breakdown. My friends were all worried because I was at my ends. My kids were so upset to see me go through all of this and nothing would help.
I had to go through all of the stages to get where I am now. He wanted the divorce but he is still living in the house. He won’t leave. I asked him on monday why are you still here?? He said he’s getting the house. I said your kids have even asked you to leave. He said ya, but they only asked me once??? This man is so sick! He really needs help medically. He won’t go because his mother his cheerleader is so happy to have her baby back. She even stated at parties years back how she wanted him back home with her?? Of course she did this in front of me which made me look like the total jerk. She has a relationship with her son that is very unusual. She verbally abuses her husband (his father) sound familiar?? She has her son on a pedistal. He does no wrong. Now he is making her dreams come true.
Thirteen more days and the cooling off period will be over.And hopefully the divorce can begin. I’m tired of waiting for this nightmare to be over. It’s time for me to start my life.
Yes, Facebook opened the door to my H’s EA with an old girlfriend. As many of you said, I felt it was harmless, but cautioned him based on her past behavior with other men. I knew there was something up when he sat for hours having private FB conversations with her rather than spend time with his family. Long story short, it lead to secret meetings, etc. Fortunately, she lives out of state, so that made it a little more difficult.
To sum it up – if you’re doing something that you feel the need to lie about, then you’re doing something wrong. I wish he would have recognized that before he started his 1 1/2 year EA.
This is a little off the subject of adultery, but what is it with people who want to carry on their relationships via facebook. I have a couple of “friends” who do this and it is really weird. One of them is a divorced girl at work. She is currently in a “new” relationship, following several that have the same pattern, and usually end up with a rant of how much she hates them. Shes been seeing the newest guy about 2 months, and it is just continuously stuff she should send by text, or call, our something private. “I MISS you, xoxo.” “are you awake, beautiful,” etc, etc. it’s like fine kind of show for the camera, and I feel awkward when I se e her on the elevator.. I ought to block her from my newsfeed but it’s like a car accident and I can’t look away, lol.
People who carry on a relationship via Facebook or phone text are afraid of a real relationship and everything it entails. That’s why they do it and think it’s a great idea!
My own sister recently asked if I would chat with her on FB instead of calling her on the phone. She spends all her time on FB and has few ‘live’ friends that she sees in person.
Needless to say I called her and ignored the chat request instead. FB and virtual communications mean that you miss out on the whole tone of voice, spotting bullshit information that goes with how people speak.
The OW had conjured up a ‘story’ of who she was which also incldued her coming from a very exclusive part of Florida. a small amount of research in the early days revealed that she actually came from a shithole 60 miles away. Not that that matters as such but it’s an example of how cheaters on both sides elaborate and prettyfy their lives to fit who they want to be seen as to the other person as it’s all part of the fantasy. You can’t do that in person for very long.
Natalia, you head it dead on. My husbands EA was by text and he runs from real intimacy.
My husband of 34 years went to his 40 yr. H.S. reunion & his girlfriend from H.S. told him she should have married him because her life was a mess. She is separated from her husband who physically abused her. Within days she went back to the state she lives in & they started an online & phone EA. I discovered it 6 weeks into it and found in one month over 8000 text messages, 100s of phone calls & who knows how many emails. He promised to break it off but then he had a serious psychological decline and we discovered this was the beginning of a manic episode. Now he is on medication & was doing better decreasing contact with her. (His psychiatrist asked me to tolerate the online EA temporarily while he is being stabilized) Then this past weekend I found out she was here & they were planning a rendezvous & this was going to become a PA. He lied & said he was going to stay with a male friend from H.S. he reconnected with. I had already told him no physical contact so I said I know what you are doing if you go you cannot come back here. He didn’t go after many phone calls with her begging saying horrible things about me & giving him an ultimatum to just fly like an eagle & forget his real life for love. He told her good bye then and also sent a good bye email. Two days later he weakened and contacted her and said he still wants contact with her. He has told me the same things I see everyone else has experienced he did it because I didn’t show him the kind of love he wanted( big oops, he never mentioned this to me) etc…
Now we are trying to deal with his psych. issues & getting him the help he needs & this EA. Has anyone ever had the experience of an EA started during a manic episode? I can’t even deal with my own emotions because the professionals are asking me to put them aside as we try to get him well. I lost my husband within days of that reunion and don’t know who this person is.
Mania madness, I am not a therapist so I can’t tell you what to do, but in my opinion that is horrible advice. You are the victim, not him or her. People like this will take your sanity right along with theirs. I speak from personal experience on this one, unfortunately.
I’m not a therapist either, but have read sooo many books and the advice you’re getting from that therapist is HORRIBLE. You are the victim and his psychological problem should be addressed differently. If I were you I’d get another opinion. Right now. Sounds to me that that therapist is sketchy, to say the least. Google him/her and contact the board of psychologists in your area to check his/her background and to see if there are any complaints. His/her advice is extremely damaging to your well-being and your husband’s as well. Good luck!
Like the tell you on the plane, You have to save yourself before you save anyone else. I would not tolerate this. I would advise him to go on his trip. He is enjoying being the center of this drama, and he knows what hes doing.
He has been seen by 4 verified reputable psychiatrists & I have my own therapist. They believe the EA is a manifestation of the mental illness that’s why they are asking for me to tolerate it now till medication kicks in. I was just wondering if anyone else here has been through this. It is a common event during a manic episode unfortunately. He really doesn’t have any sense of how his behavior affects anyone but him. Of course OW doesn’t believe in psychiatry!
You said the OW doesn’t believe in psychiatry but has she been put in touch with them? effectively they’re making her part of his ‘therapy’ too – not that I would give a shit about her but it may send her running for the hills if she realises that it’s likely to be a temporary infatuation where she loses out?
Thats well and good, about the therapists but they are not infallible. I will never again sacrifice my mental wellbeing to anther person. I’m sorry, I still think putting you through this is the worst advice I’ve ever heard. Good luck to you.
OW was physically abused on her marriage & she has poo pooed and convinced my husband the whole world except for the 2 of them are crazy. I will only do this for a limited time then like you said Gizfield I’m not sacrificing myself. Thanks all sometimes you just need to hear from others with similar experiences.
Poo pooed his psych diagnosis
Hi ManiaMadness, My husband has struggled with bipolar illness, alcoholism for many years. While being on various meds for depression during past years, he started seeing a psych dr Nov 2010. He had been chatting with other women and men!! secretly before this. At least since early 2009. His EA with the cow started earlier in 2010. I did not discover the EA until 3/29/12. All contact stopped upon my discovery. Also, my husband stopped drinking 3/31/12.
I often wonder, what would have happened if I had discovered the EA earlier. In therapy I asked my H how could he stop drinking now, how could he stop EA now. He did credit the meds and psych help for some of this ability. I believe the EA had cooled off by the time I did discover it. My H is unwilling to talk about what all transpired other then saying no physical meeting ever occurred. My H told me he loves me, doesn’t want to loose me, did not realize how damaging the EA was, and is in a better place mentally now.
Bipolarism is very complex – has many components and degrees. Be sure you are dealing with a competent mental health provider. I am sorry you are dealing with this. I definitelly would not allow any physical contact between the two. I don’t think I could allow EA to continue either. As in AA perhaps your H needs a support person, but it should not be the OW. You need to know who this support person is. Although your H does not need to share with you all the things they share with their Dr or support person, you need to be comfortable with who these people are.
Just some thoughts–just because
About a month ago my H recently told me that he had feelings for a lady from 20 yrs ago he reconnected with on FB. Actually they have feelings for each other. They have sent texts, emails, had cell phone conversations during work hours or whenver he was alone. She also sent him sexual pictures of herself. Their courtship lasted for a summer and he returned to college where he and I met about 6 months later and eventually married. She has told him that she has never forgotten him and regretted that their relationship was so short. She says she feels like he belonged to her first. I surprised myself by how well I handled his confession. My H said he loves me and that his emotions had nothing to do with me. I was not doing anything wrong or lacking in anyway. Its that he realized that he has romantic feelings for someone else, feelings that should be reserved for me only. I told my H that I appreciated him trusting me enough to come to me and know that I wasnt going to fly off the handle. For I too have run across old flames on FB and a spark arose in me as well. They live in different states and it seems that she is a fairly sensible women. I allowed him to figure out what he wanted from her and out of the relationship. I gave him the opportunity to work it out with her and find a way to end the EA. JUST BE SURE TO END IT! He has since come to me and told me that he and she have worked it out, he has appologized for any hurt he caused her. They have agreed to keep communication brief and in the public area of FB. They both realize that event though they have an attraction for each other, they are more attracted to the past and the “what if” In my opinion it was a relationship that needed closure. And I hope it is now CLOSED!
AJ, I’m not trying to get on your business, but letting ANY WOMAN who has sent sexual pictures of herself to your husband while he is married to you IS A BAD IDEA. Please trust me on this one. You need to block her on facebook and if he has any problems with that you need to find out WHY immediately.
Gizfield thanks and I don’t take it as getting in my business at all! An unbiased opinion is well received. I too fee that sexual pictures are going too far as well. He has deleted them from his email and I have checked to see that they are not stored on his phone or laptop. He does not keep his phone on lock either. It has only been amonth since the admission so I’m keeping a watchful eye for any suspicious behavior. I want this woman deleted from his page but if he knows contact info he or she can always reach out to one another again.
Dont get me wrong, I think it is possible to be friends with someone you once dated. I have a couple of guys I dated before my husband on facebook. However, I have never contacted them, nor they me, in any secret or personal way. If that ever happens, they will have to go. And I damn sure didnt send them any pictures, sexual or otherwise.
They have worked it out and he apologized for hurt he caused her????? Seriously, you are ok with this? More crap goes on on the name of “friendship” than you can possibly imagine. Your husband is putting this womans well being above his wife.s and it’s unacceptable. I know you think you are being progressive, understanding, all that, but speaking from experience, it does not work like that.
AJ: I agree 100% with Gizfield. My husband had some ex-gfs and “women friends” on FB and I tolerated it as long as I knew that everything posted was public. The minute they decided to exchange private messages or they sent him suggestive pics I deleted them AND blocked them. What did my husband have to say about this? NOTHING! He now clearly understands what boundaries are and will not cross them or allow any skank to cross them either otherwise I’m GONE. And he knows it.
(I tried posting this from my phone but I hadn’t logged in, so if you see it twice, sorry ‘bout that). AJ: I agree 100% with Gizfield. My H has an ex-gf on FB and he knows that as long as they keep their posts public and she “friends” me too, he can keep here there. The minute they exchange private messages – SHE’S OUT AND BLOCKED! He knows it because I’ve done it before with some skanks he met through work. The minute they got too friendly, started flirting and sent suggestive pics, I deleted them and blocked them. What did my husband have to say about this? NOTHING! He clearly understands what boundaries are and will not cross them or allow any skank to cross them either otherwise I’m GONE, and he knows it.
Natalia
Thanks for your opinion also….you guys are making me rethink this whole sh*ty situation! This is the first that I know of my H behaving in an unfaithful manner throught our 14year marriage or even our dating years. Like I said its only been a month and I will be very observant to his behavior and habits.