Good Morning America has profiled a couple for the last 2 days who are trying to survive an affair by taking a look inside a therapy session with them together. The husband met a woman online and ended up having an affair with her. They do not say whether it was a physical affair or emotional affair. They just mention that it was an affair of the heart.
Here is what I took away from today’s episode. (At the time of this post, the video of today’s segment had not been posted to the GMA site. I will post it when, and if it becomes available.)
The couple has decided to try and save the marriage and move beyond the affair. They have realized that they needed to find the real issues and roots of their problems within their marriage. They also have both acknowledged that they need to make personal changes.
Some of the issues that appear to have contributed to the husband’s affair:
- Letting the kids take over their life
- There were financial difficulties that caused strain in the relationship
- A feeling as if they didn’t exist as a couple
- He felt lonely and unloved
- She felt resentment towards him because she had to be the “bad” person with the kids and had the brunt of the household responsibilities
- No intimacy
- He was hesitant to voice his concerns and feelings about the marriage
During the session, the husband appears to be remorseful and wants to come back to his wife and kids to make things right. The wife, on the other hand mentioned that she has no trust, no respect and is afraid to get hurt again.
Does any of this sound familiar???!!!
The therapist said that they have to be prepared for at least a year of work to rebuild the trust and to re-balance their personalities. He needs to become more assertive and she needs to be less of a nag. Basically they need to become different people through a process of systematic change.
The therapist also noted that they needed to “form a coalition against the kids.” I can only assume that means to stop the fact that the kids are ruling the roost and controlling the parent’s lives.
Towards the end of the segment, the therapist offered a few tips for couples to survive an affair:
- Learn to deal with each other effectively.
- The cheating spouse needs to show empathy and patience towards the victim and her feelings and emotions.
- They must give the process time and patience
- The need for transparency by the cheating spouse.
One thing that the therapist said that stuck out to me was “This is not the end, it’s the beginning.”
If you were able to watch this segment (or after reading this post), as well as the previous one, we’d like to hear some comments on your thoughts about this couple and as it pertains to your own situation. So please comment below!
3 replies to "Couple Trying to Survive an Affair, Part 2"
Perhaps I am just too cynical because what strikes me about this couple is that the man is unable to deal with the fact this his wife can’t constantly obsess over his every need. This seems to happen a lot with couples when they have children, the man is no longer the center of the universe and we are supposed to feel sorry for him, as if that is justification for having an affair. This man needs to grow up.
I agree with what the program suggested. It takes time for a couple to heal after infidelity. Most couples stay together after an affair, usually 70%. The partner that had the affair needs to show remorse and empathy for the pain he caused his partner. This is very important otherwise no healing can occur. I also agree that sometimes this is a the best thing for a marriage because it helps the couple begin to communicate about what was wrong in the first place.
You lost me at forming “a coalition against the kids,” at church tonite some of the kids were talking about not seeing their dads. You should have seen these faces. It was heartbreaking. I dont think many parents have a problem putting their relationship first. Great advice, GMA.