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codependency recovery

Codependency: Don’t Fall Into This Trap – 5 Steps to Codependency Recovery

One of the topics that we mention now and then is the topic of codependency.  Why is codependency an important topic? Well, in short, codependency creates unhealthy marriages. But, codependency has what I refer to as a ‘positive side’ and a ‘negative side.’ But, here is the kicker— even the positive side of codependency is destructive. […]

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sense of self

Danger Ahead – You Can Live Without Your Spouse, But Not Without Yourself

Infidelity can annihilate our sense of self. By Sarah P. From the time we are children, we are told that when we grow up we must find a prince or princess charming and get married. Much of the mass media trades on this idea. It is so ingrained in our society that people rarely question it. […]

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ADHD Contributed to an Affair

Is It Possible that Adult ADHD Contributed to an Affair?

Why you should ask if adult ADHD may be the elephant in the room. By Melissa Orlov When your partner has an affair, one of your first instincts is to try to figure out what happened.  What led you both to this place?  One possible factor that neither partners, nor therapists, commonly consider is that […]

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Resolutions for Affair Recovery

New Year’s Resolutions for Affair Recovery

Happy New Year! Every year we spend a great deal of time during the week between Christmas and New Year’s working on our resolutions for the upcoming new year. This year, we did things a little differently.  This year we set work and personal goals as usual, but only one real resolution – To work […]

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change within before you can change without

Change Within Before You Can Change Without

By Sarah P. In my last blog we discussed how to stay empowered through the holidays and beyond. The key point of that article was the idea that our thoughts can influence our lives. Because thoughts can influence our lives, these thoughts can cause us to act in ways that create outcomes. In empowered thinking, we […]

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Staying Empowered

You Have the Power – Staying Empowered Through the Holidays and Beyond

Note:  Infidelity is a traumatizing event that often makes the betrayed feel powerless and unable to cope or take action. Often though, a victim mentality becomes the coping mechanism used to survive fear, pain, and to recover basic psychological needs such as safety, love, affection, and self-esteem. This week Sarah P. has crafted a very […]

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How to Use Empathy to Communicate Effectively

At the Heart of Attachment: How to Use Empathy to Communicate Effectively For On-Going Recovery

By Sarah P. Empathy is the most mysterious transaction that the human soul can have, and it’s accessible to all of us, but we have to give ourselves the opportunity to identify, to plunge ourselves in a story where we see the world from the bottom up or through another’s eyes or heart.”  – Sue Monk […]

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Build Your Self-Esteem

10 Things that Can Help Build Your Self-Esteem Post D-day

By Sarah P. There’s nothing like betrayal to throw your self-esteem for a loop. When your spouse betrays you, you are devastated. But, your devastation might pale in comparison to the hit that your self-esteem takes when this happens.  Infidelity is the worst of the worst when it comes to damaging your self-esteem. Even though […]

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rules of fair fighting

11 Rules of Fair Fighting – Taming the Incredible Hulk

Rules of Fair Fighting and How To Make Yourself Heard By Sarah P. The incredible hulk—what does he have to do with anything? When I refer to the Incredible Hulk, I am referring to the extremely angry feelings that flood us when our unfaithful spouse has no insight into our feelings and refuses to acknowledge […]

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write your own book

Write Your Own Book

A little motivation to get the year started! And though this post has really nothing to do with infidelity or marital crisis, it certainly can be applied to those situations – and really all aspects of your life. For most of the civilized world, it seems that January is a month where people review the […]

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