Infidelity causes intense emotional pain--anger, disbelief, fear, guilt and shame. But an affair doesn't have to mean the end of your marriage.
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You may recall that back in December I started to see a therapist as I had been experiencing some issues that I felt were affecting my healing from infidelity, and thought it might be helpful to seek some professional guidance. I’ve also noticed that many of you who email or make comments have mentioned that [...]
Forgiveness after the affair is essential to the healing process for both the betrayed spouse and the cheating spouse. However, it is also just as essential that you do not forgive too soon. It took me well over a year after Doug’s emotional affair to completely forgive him. Here are three reasons why you shouldn’t [...]
During one of our recent Affair Recovery Group sessions we discussed how the cheaters have their own story and play by their own rules. They do not act in ways that would be categorized as typical human behavior. I believe they feel very little guilt and do not have much concern for the implications of [...]
Since today is Valentines Day, a day meant for love and lovers, we naturally wanted to write something about love. But to those who are trying to recover from an affair, Valentines Day can be a very tough day indeed. Therefore, we wanted to share a passage from Mort Fertel’s book, “Marriage Fitness,” that addresses [...]
A fatal flaw, both in marriages and in life in general, is that many people have this illusion that another person can supply them with happiness. In fact, the troubles in your marriage may or may not be due to dissatisfaction in your life. However, if you feel that there is the slightest possibility that [...]
When I was first recovering from Doug’s emotional affair, I would search the internet and read books that offered good advice. Often the advice was to do this, or not to do that. I wanted to follow the suggestions but it was difficult because I really didn’t understand the purpose of it. I was uncomfortable [...]
I’m so glad that we have started the Affair Recovery Group. I have gained so much knowledge and insight from our discussions with Jeff Murrah, that everyday I feel lighter and freer. It’s been another dose of therapy for me on a weekly basis. Recently, we touched upon the bonding experience that is often present [...]
As a betrayed spouse I am going to tell you right now our spouses will never again have a fantasy about us the way they did with the OP during their marital affair. So stop trying to recreate and compete with the affair. It won’t happen. We are living in the real world in a [...]
All affairs begin as a fantasy. During our Affair Recovery Group, Jeff Murrah stated that even one night stands begin with the person thinking (fantasizing) about what it would be like to have a sexual encounter with another person. When the cheater begins either an emotional or physical affair they have ready made assumptions about [...]
Happy Wednesday! After the affair your marriage will never be the same as it once was. That’s a simple reality. The affair has forever altered the course of your relationship and your life. It can’t be taken back and you can’t pretend it didn’t happen. You will never forget the affair. If you work to [...]
