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wired for monogamy

Cheating Men: If you are one of them, don’t be fooled by what evolutionary psychology says about your wiring

By Sarah P. I have found that many men’s favorite straw-man argument that validates infidelity is the argument that men have evolved to have a sole purpose in life: to spread their seed. This spurious argument, which has been brought forth by evolutionary psychologists, allows men less accountability for non-monogamous behavior. I will hand it to […]

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finding meaning in the affair

Stirring Things Up – Finding Meaning in the Affair

“It’s time to move on.” “I know I screwed up and I know I won’t do it again.” “Digging up all these past wounds doesn’t do either of us any good.” Have you heard (or said) any – or all – of these phrases in the past? Of course you as the betrayed also want […]

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preventing an emotional affair

How to Avoid Cheating on Your Spouse

So here you are, happy in a loving, committed relationship and yet at every turn there is temptation. There’s the attractive assistant manager in the office down the hall, the client who always seems to be flirting with you or an attractive member of the opposite sex that approaches you when you are out on […]

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heal after an affair

Don’t Wait 6 Years to Admit You Have Marriage Problems

Because we have this blog, I often find myself observing and analyzing people in normal situations, perhaps making a few assumptions, and then sharing it with you guys in an effort to make a point.  I had another opportunity to do this last Saturday at Linda’s 35th high school reunion. Nothing earth-shattering occurred but I […]

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prevent another affair

Whose Job Is It To Prevent Another Affair?

From the moment of your first discovery that your partner is cheating (or cheated in the past), your response makes a huge difference. What you choose to do strongly influences whether or not the two of you will be able to pick up the broken pieces and repair your relationship. This doesn’t mean you can’t […]

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faithful marriage

Principles That Ensure a Harmonious, Sensual, and Faithful Marriage

by Sarah P. Tips From Modern Orthodoxy Note: I belong to an inter-faith family, Christianity and reformed Judaism. Both religions dwell harmoniously in our home because we focus on commonalities instead of differences. We have a couple of friends from the modern Orthodox community and there are things we have come to admire about modern […]

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Fingers crossed

Should You Stay Or Should You Go? Know the 9 Common Traits of A Serial Cheater So You Can Decide

By Sarah P. Note: Recently, one of the readers asked whether or not there was a way to know if a man who cheated would be a repeat offender.  After thinking about it, I put together this post about traits that set serial cheaters apart from “one hit wonders.”  Though this is written using a […]

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denial after the affair

Discussion – What Would Have Prevented the Affair?

Thanks to everyone who joined in on the discussion from last week.  It was a great response and we appreciate it – and you guys – very much. One of the comments was from an ex-CS who has contributed quite a bit on this site and has obviously made great strides since ending the affair. […]

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infidelity in marriage

Infidelity in Marriage: It’s Always a Choice

by Sarah P. One can come up with hundreds of excuses for infidelity in marriage, but the person having an affair always has the choice to do or not to do. When you find out that your spouse has had an affair, your whole world literally implodes. You begin to question yourself, you begin to […]

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fantasy of the affair

Eliminating the Fantasy of the Affair

Continuing with our Monday post-reruns… Here is one from Nov 18, 2010 where Linda shares her concern about what would happen if I ran into my affair partner (Tanya) in the future.  Would the affair start up again? She goes on to share her belief that the only way for that not to be an […]

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