Quite often I correspond with betrayed spouses who claim that their spouse is not helping in the healing process because of the guilt that they feel as a result of their affair. This simple 4-step process may help with this issue. While searching for appropriate content for the Higher Healing area the other day, I […]
An extremely important component of forgiveness after infidelity is effectively reframing the story that you tell yourself. This is also related to the concept of self-talk. Each time we witness an event or think a thought, our mind automatically constructs a story around each thought or event. The story that our mind constructs can be […]
When our spouse betrays us with another person, the sadness, grief, and negativity that we feel threatens to swallow us whole. Even though this is a normal experience, it’s not an experience that we should allow to take over our entire lives. Whether or not we choose to stay with our betraying spouse has nothing […]
For the last few days I’ve been reading a book that was recommended to me called “Let it Go” by T.D. Jakes. The book is primarily about forgiveness, though in one chapter he addresses an issue that always seems to be a struggle for our readers – rebuilding trust after infidelity. One of the points […]
There are many hurdles to cross when trying to recover from an affair. One of the biggest and most difficult to overcome is the letting go of resentment. What is resentment? My good buddy Wikipedia says that… Resentment (also called ranklement or bitterness) is the experience of a negative emotion (anger or hatred, for instance) […]
Last week we wrote a post about David Lieberman’s 10 phases of forgiveness and making peace with another. I was particularly interested in phase 7, which is restoring the sense of balance to the relationship after an emotional affair. In this phase, Lieberman states that it’s important for the cheater to let the betrayed know […]
As usual, I have about four books that I’m simultaneously reading. One of them, “Make Peace With Anyone” by David J. Lieberman, Ph.D., offers some suggestions regarding forgiveness for infidelity that I wanted to share with you. Dr. Lieberman offers a ten phase approach to gain forgiveness after someone has clearly violated the trust, respect […]
Last Thursday I wrote a post about how I still felt the pain from the thoughts of why Doug really decided to stay in our marriage. Today I wanted to follow up on that a bit and share with you some wonderful information from one of our favorite authors, Dave Carder. Dave is the author […]
Forgiving infidelity is a another difficult part of the affair recovery process. In the book “How Can I Forgive You?” by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D. the author describes four different approaches to forgiveness: Cheap Forgiveness, Refusing to Forgive, Acceptance and Genuine Forgiveness. While the second two are more flexible in nature, according to the author, […]
Some of the best information that exists on this site comes from the readers through the comments that they make. I was doing some research yesterday for my book I want to write, and re-read a series of comments related to forgiving infidelity. I thought what this one reader said was wonderful, and thought it […]
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- It’s Tough To Stop an Emotional Affair March 15, 2011
- Real Reasons the Emotional Affair Happened February 2, 2012
- How Does A Betrayed Spouse Heal from Cheating? July 5, 2013
- When the Other Woman Becomes the Wife September 6, 2012
- Open House Discussion August 28, 2013
- Discussion: Why Do Men and Women Cheat? October 5, 2011
- How it all started December 18, 2009
- Lessons Learned from the Other Woman in an Emotional Affair December 5, 2014
- Obsessive Focus – Relentless Thoughts or Conversations About the Affair – Part 3 April 24, 2015
- Obsessive Focus – Relentless Thoughts or Conversations About the Affair – Part 2 April 21, 2015
- Obsessive Focus – Relentless Thoughts or Conversations About the Affair April 17, 2015
- Recap – The 2015 Emotional Affair Journey Comprehensive Reader Survey April 14, 2015
- No Such Thing As TMI – The Importance of Full Disclosure after You Have Had an Affair April 10, 2015
- Discussion – Alcohol and Infidelity April 7, 2015
- Unfaithful Spouses: Ways to Empathize With Your Betrayed Spouse April 3, 2015
- The 2015 Emotional Affair Journey Comprehensive Reader Survey March 31, 2015
- TrustingGod: Having already separated from my husband temporari...
- Strengthrequired: Rachel, I'm proud of you, with all the crap your ...
- Maxine6: Thanks Doug, Yes, I wish I could be as strong a...
- tryingtorecover: TrustingGod- I feel like we're living parallel li...
- TrustingGod: Tryingtorecover, I totally understand you when ...
- TrustingGod: Let us all know if you find those answers. It does...
- tryingtorecover: These ideas are very helpful though Trustingod mad...
- Amy: Hello The first wife, Its a great step that ur ...
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