It seems that most betrayed spouses never really get a true heartfelt, genuine apology after the affair from the unfaithful spouse. Sure, they may get the standard “I’m sorry” but it seems as though they usually hear those two words much too often as the cheater continues their lies and poor behavior. This post is […]
By Mel Faith Shame and suffering are linked, as are forgiveness and health. On a purely emotional level, this has been accepted for generations – but psychological science is beginning to prove that the ability to forgive (both others and oneself) can have a profound impact upon one’s health and wellbeing. Shame and guilt are […]
Quite often I correspond with betrayed spouses who claim that their spouse is not helping in the healing process because of the guilt that they feel as a result of their affair. This simple 4-step process may help with this issue. While searching for appropriate content for the Higher Healing area the other day, I […]
An extremely important component of forgiveness after infidelity is effectively reframing the story that you tell yourself. This is also related to the concept of self-talk. Each time we witness an event or think a thought, our mind automatically constructs a story around each thought or event. The story that our mind constructs can be […]
When our spouse betrays us with another person, the sadness, grief, and negativity that we feel threatens to swallow us whole. Even though this is a normal experience, it’s not an experience that we should allow to take over our entire lives. Whether or not we choose to stay with our betraying spouse has nothing […]
For the last few days I’ve been reading a book that was recommended to me called “Let it Go” by T.D. Jakes. The book is primarily about forgiveness, though in one chapter he addresses an issue that always seems to be a struggle for our readers – rebuilding trust after infidelity. One of the points […]
There are many hurdles to cross when trying to recover from an affair. One of the biggest and most difficult to overcome is the letting go of resentment. What is resentment? My good buddy Wikipedia says that… Resentment (also called ranklement or bitterness) is the experience of a negative emotion (anger or hatred, for instance) […]
Last week we wrote a post about David Lieberman’s 10 phases of forgiveness and making peace with another. I was particularly interested in phase 7, which is restoring the sense of balance to the relationship after an emotional affair. In this phase, Lieberman states that it’s important for the cheater to let the betrayed know […]
As usual, I have about four books that I’m simultaneously reading. One of them, “Make Peace With Anyone” by David J. Lieberman, Ph.D., offers some suggestions regarding forgiveness for infidelity that I wanted to share with you. Dr. Lieberman offers a ten phase approach to gain forgiveness after someone has clearly violated the trust, respect […]
Last Thursday I wrote a post about how I still felt the pain from the thoughts of why Doug really decided to stay in our marriage. Today I wanted to follow up on that a bit and share with you some wonderful information from one of our favorite authors, Dave Carder. Dave is the author […]
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- It’s Tough To Stop an Emotional Affair March 15, 2011
- Real Reasons the Emotional Affair Happened February 2, 2012
- When the Other Woman Becomes the Wife September 6, 2012
- How Does A Betrayed Spouse Heal from Cheating? July 5, 2013
- Open House Discussion August 28, 2013
- Discussion: Why Do Men and Women Cheat? October 5, 2011
- How it all started December 18, 2009
- Lessons Learned from the Other Woman in an Emotional Affair December 5, 2014
- Nip Flirting In the Bud Before It Happens (Again) July 28, 2015
- 33 Observations from Two Weeks on the Road July 24, 2015
- We’re Hitting the Road Again July 3, 2015
- How About Sharing More About Yourself? June 30, 2015
- Are People With Avoidant Personality Disorder More Likely To Cheat On Their Partners? June 26, 2015
- The Five Phases a Cheater Goes Through After an Affair is Discovered June 23, 2015
- 30 Years and Counting June 19, 2015
- Finding an Affair Recovery Specialist June 16, 2015
- Dee: Good advice given to John by both tryingtorecover ...
- TheFirstWife: Tabs. I hear ya! My H was kinda shy with girls w...
- gizfield: John, I would add one more point, at least in my o...
- tryingtorecover: John: I'm a wife of a man who had an emotional a...
- exercisegrace: Giz, that's too funny! My husband never paid any...
- Tabs: My CH was, and probably still is, very flirtatious...
- Rachel: My ex had the flirt disease. My knew guy, wouldn...
- John: I am as described above, and really don't know wh...
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