Infidelity causes intense emotional pain--anger, disbelief, fear, guilt and shame. But an affair doesn't have to mean the end of your marriage.
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Last week we wrote a post about David Lieberman’s 10 phases of forgiveness and making peace with another. I was particularly interested in phase 7, which is restoring the sense of balance to the relationship after an emotional affair. In this phase, Lieberman states that it’s important for the cheater to let the betrayed know [...]
As usual, I have about four books that I’m simultaneously reading. One of them, “Make Peace With Anyone” by David J. Lieberman, Ph.D., offers some suggestions regarding forgiveness for infidelity that I wanted to share with you. Dr. Lieberman offers a ten phase approach to gain forgiveness after someone has clearly violated the trust, respect [...]
Last Thursday I wrote a post about how I still felt the pain from the thoughts of why Doug really decided to stay in our marriage. Today I wanted to follow up on that a bit and share with you some wonderful information from one of our favorite authors, Dave Carder. Dave is the author [...]
Forgiving infidelity is a another difficult part of the affair recovery process. In the book “How Can I Forgive You?” by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D. the author describes four different approaches to forgiveness: Cheap Forgiveness, Refusing to Forgive, Acceptance and Genuine Forgiveness. While the second two are more flexible in nature, according to the author, [...]
Some of the best information that exists on this site comes from the readers through the comments that they make. I was doing some research yesterday for my book I want to write, and re-read a series of comments related to forgiving infidelity. I thought what this one reader said was wonderful, and thought it [...]
Recently, Doug and I recorded a session for the Affair Recovery Group where we wrapped up the topic of forgiveness after the affair by sharing some of our own experiences and opinions with respect to this very important topic. A question came up where I felt compelled to explain my process that I went [...]
Lately I have been putting much thought into my long journey to forgiveness after Doug’s emotional affair, and trying to figure out why it was so difficult to reach. As a result, I began reconstructing our affair recovery and analyzing each step. It is ironic how I can now remember the details and the activities [...]
Forgiveness after the affair is essential to the healing process for both the betrayed spouse and the cheating spouse. However, it is also just as essential that you do not forgive too soon. It took me well over a year after Doug’s emotional affair to completely forgive him. Here are three reasons why you shouldn’t [...]
Last week many of you were kind enough to clue us in on some of the issues that you are still struggling with after the affair. I think that many of the issues we have touched on in past posts, but deserve a little more attention. Today we want to address how to deal with [...]
We’ve talked a lot recently about the fantasies that are inherent before, during and after the affair. Today I want to concentrate on how the fantasy affected the way I dealt with the information Doug gave me during his emotional affair. Basically, I made mistakes as to how I reacted, causing our recovery from an [...]
